Sometimes, I just felt like I am totally have no use and no sense staying on earth( I think I have mention this in previous blog, but never mind, I am very absent minded and maybe I can tell this and repeat my thoughts to myself again).
At times, when people are talking and I think I have some comments to give or to say something funny or to tell some silly jokes out of a statement, people just doesn't seems to hear what I said, even just to notice that I am talking. Maybe my voice is too tiny that people just think a mosquito just flew by, or is my voice frequency just not on channel to people's ear drum?? Maybe, things that came out from my mouth is nothing but bullshit that doesn't make any sense till people's ear just have kind of sixth sense to filter out my point of view and continue their conversation?
I know that I like to bullshit and make up nonsense and silly joke out of no where; but this is me, this is what I am good at(in talking, I mean). I can make up jokes and funny sentences from no where, and IT IS FUNNY!! people laugh at it, if they heard it(by accident??). However, I think I have bullshited too much that people just think that things that come out from my mouth all makes no sense at all, but they do, at times.
Maybe, I should shut up my mouth, starting from today(which I have promised myself to do so since ages), but it's hard you know.
How do you know when to shut up if you have already have a habit and a root where you have to talk when you have some comments or ideas of your own?
It felt really terrible not to speak out what I have in mind, because I will forget the whole thing just after I blurt it out. I love to forget things and events, because this won't add any trouble for me. Also, I won't think badly about people ( I will tend to forget what have just happened).
Aih...sad....how come people just ignore what I said? why my words and voice is nothing in people's ears? why if someone's comment or jokes is not funny and is not right, but others listen to it, but mine is not in this way?
That is why I have this blog???Maybe....
January 31, 2006
January 29, 2006
1st day of Chinese new year
Happy Chinese new year to all my friends and families~~
just got back from KL yesterday where I have to take a bus which is 9 hours to get to penang. The bus started at 9.30am sharp at pudu, but when we reaches Rawang, the jam at the highway is terrible, we can hardly move. Till 12.45 pm, the bus is still at Rawang. The bus actually start moving quite smoothly on 2+pm, so, when I reaches Sg. Nibong bus station, it's 5.30pm already. What a journey...
It's chinese new year and my anually routine is to go from house to house to collect angpow and also to wish those family members older than me.
But for this year, there is some slight changes as my mom is not being able to go with us, but she have to stay at home the whole day, because grandma says that she should not do so, cause grandpa just past away not long ago.
From year to year, older people is not around any more, and my cousin sisters and brothers older than me starts to get married one by one till now, the olders is I think,around 28...
Last time the olders in our group is hm...maybe 30+?? donno...it's just that the group is getting smaller and smaller, and the people that we have to visit is lesser and lesser.
Until one day, I will have to give out angpow instead of collecting....
just got back from KL yesterday where I have to take a bus which is 9 hours to get to penang. The bus started at 9.30am sharp at pudu, but when we reaches Rawang, the jam at the highway is terrible, we can hardly move. Till 12.45 pm, the bus is still at Rawang. The bus actually start moving quite smoothly on 2+pm, so, when I reaches Sg. Nibong bus station, it's 5.30pm already. What a journey...
It's chinese new year and my anually routine is to go from house to house to collect angpow and also to wish those family members older than me.
But for this year, there is some slight changes as my mom is not being able to go with us, but she have to stay at home the whole day, because grandma says that she should not do so, cause grandpa just past away not long ago.
From year to year, older people is not around any more, and my cousin sisters and brothers older than me starts to get married one by one till now, the olders is I think,around 28...
Last time the olders in our group is hm...maybe 30+?? donno...it's just that the group is getting smaller and smaller, and the people that we have to visit is lesser and lesser.
Until one day, I will have to give out angpow instead of collecting....
Birthday Party—26/1/06
I went to my classmate, Michelle’s (she is our class rep actually) birthday party.
At first, I am reluctant to go to the party, as I think I am not close to her, don’t really quite know her, also, it’s kind of weird to go to friend’s house, with all her relatives and friends, which, of course, those who are like total stranger to me.
But, at last, after some persuasion from my friends and one of them said that he can drive me to and from the friend’s house, so, ok…I have my safely secured also, I might get to know Michelle better…so, why not??
It’s kind of a manner to go to people’s party because he/she have invited you to go. You just can’t make all sorts of excuses, not to go, then it’s like….don’t know how to say, it’s just not right in some sense.
It’s actually quite fun. The food in the party is awesome, just that I don’t quite eat anything there, but the variety, the taste is very unusual. Also, I have not been to people’s birthday party since…hm….maybe centuries ago…
Anyway, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!!And thanks for your invitation to your birthday party. I enjoy the party very much
At first, I am reluctant to go to the party, as I think I am not close to her, don’t really quite know her, also, it’s kind of weird to go to friend’s house, with all her relatives and friends, which, of course, those who are like total stranger to me.
But, at last, after some persuasion from my friends and one of them said that he can drive me to and from the friend’s house, so, ok…I have my safely secured also, I might get to know Michelle better…so, why not??
It’s kind of a manner to go to people’s party because he/she have invited you to go. You just can’t make all sorts of excuses, not to go, then it’s like….don’t know how to say, it’s just not right in some sense.
It’s actually quite fun. The food in the party is awesome, just that I don’t quite eat anything there, but the variety, the taste is very unusual. Also, I have not been to people’s birthday party since…hm….maybe centuries ago…
Anyway, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!!And thanks for your invitation to your birthday party. I enjoy the party very much
Centrifugation lab-> Dr. Woo part II—20/1/06
Ok….here goes again.
Today’s lab is about centrifuging milk with acetic acid, so as to separate them into 2 layers.
What question will arise from the sentence above?
What are the 2 layers?
Good question! And this is what I asked her.
Her answer at first is: I just want you to write your observations. (ok, not answering my question, right?)
So, maybe I don’t get her to understand my question, so, I rephrase my question: What is the composition of the 2 layers?
L: The solid part is protein.
Me: Ok, ic…protein.
Then she say something like: why do you always want to make your life so complicated?
Ok, I wanted to make my life complicated, but isn’t that we should have a wider knowledge and not to know what we have to know only??
I wanted my life to be complicated!! YES!! But, the thing is I wanted to make your life miserable to!!
Today’s lab is about centrifuging milk with acetic acid, so as to separate them into 2 layers.
What question will arise from the sentence above?
What are the 2 layers?
Good question! And this is what I asked her.
Her answer at first is: I just want you to write your observations. (ok, not answering my question, right?)
So, maybe I don’t get her to understand my question, so, I rephrase my question: What is the composition of the 2 layers?
L: The solid part is protein.
Me: Ok, ic…protein.
Then she say something like: why do you always want to make your life so complicated?
Ok, I wanted to make my life complicated, but isn’t that we should have a wider knowledge and not to know what we have to know only??
I wanted my life to be complicated!! YES!! But, the thing is I wanted to make your life miserable to!!
Lecturer???Bullshit!!—18/1/2006
I have been telling this situation or so called “event” to my dear dear, my mom, and my friends, but, I am still not satisfy with what I have encounter, because I don’t have any solution to it, also, I can’t do anything about it.
Ok, here goes….
I have asked a question about pKa and pI value to my biochem lecturer (though me and my friend already have a sense that she can’t give me any further explaination, except that the fact is a fact, case close!). However, I still go to her because I think biochem is her major and what she should be pro at.
This is the question: I heard and seen something lie this in Dr. Kim’s class, but I still don’t know how to calculate and get the pI value if I have 3 ionization group in an amino acid.
Answer: Don’t compare my notes with Dr. Kim’s. What she lecture is her lecture. For my lecture. For my lecture, you have to know how to calculate but it won’t come out in Exam.
Me: So, we don’t have to know how to calculate the pI if we have a 3 ionizable group in an amino acid lor??
L: It doesn’t mean you don’t have to know. You have to.
Ok, by the way, my main question is not being answered yet!
Me: Then, how?
L: What do you mean?
Me: How do we get the pI value if there is 3 ionisable group? Do we have to get the et charge of the amino acid before we can calculate? Cause I can’t understand that in Dr. Kim’s lecture. (Ting~ another time, things that I should not say)
L: That you will have to ask her, that’s in her lecture notes not in mine.
Me: But you have that in your notes also.
L: Show me! Where??!?!
Ok, then, I took out my notes (hers) and show her the statement.
What is her reaction? She look at the statement, repeatly reading it, blur, then calculating with a calculator to try on some values(which proved that she also don’t know how to get the value-I supposed)
Then, what’s next??Repeat to me the fact again and again that we have to use (pKa1 + pKa2)/2 to get pI.
Me: How do we know that the pI is between pKa2 and pKa3?
L: Ok, why do an amino acid have 3 pKa s?
Me: Because they have 3 ionizable group attached to the carbon atom??
L: Right! So, some amino acid have 3 pKa. Do you know what is a pKa??....bla bla bla…Do you know what is equilibrium??(Ok, I just noticed that I have been treated as if I know nothing about chemistry.)
So, what should I do next?? To act as if I know nothing of cause. Not that I want to act, but just for me to get down the stage better, also, I don’t know what to ask her anymore. I just want to finish the whole conversation fast, and get out of the class as soon as possible.
Then, continue some bla bla bla, which I have forgotten what I have said, which my answers are mostly something like Oh….like that. And the whole conversation ends with Thank you Dr.
Conclusion,
I would like to thank Dr Woo Kuan Kit very much (from the bottom of my heart, if u don’t believe that I thank you, I really do). I made myself looked like an idiot, because I some how sensed that you some how visualized me as one ( sorry if I misunderstood you) But, I like people to have their leg on my head, pushed me hard with their feet so as my face is totally invisible to others, (lose my face totally) and have myself think that I am an idiot. Thanks for that, and I really mean it( just to emphasise).
It’s a feeling which I have people look down on me, so that I will push myself harder, don’t be lazy all the time,to make myself want to prove myself to others, and to achieve whatever goal I set for myself.
Thank You Very Much!!
??Should we argue points after a lecture if we don’t quite understand the lecture?
??Is a lecturer, should be a pro in what he/she lectures?
??Can we discuss a point which lecturer A said in his/her lecture, with lecturer B, if we think that lecturer B is a pro and will be a better person to explain the point??
??What does she mean by: what Dr. Kim lectures is in her lecture, you should ask her?
??Isn’t that biology is am overall thing, which is a complementary of all subjects, here and there?
??Does she mean that I should not exit in the questions I ask than what is in her lectures?
??What does a lecturer does?
??Can’t we direct questions(not in lectures) to a lecturer if we think that he/she is a pro?
??Who should we ask questions if we studied something/ or want to know more detail about something?
I am the only person asking “the stupid question”, which I assume everyone in the class should have know the answer,and get bullshitted.
Who in the hell should help me? Where is the friend who supported me to ask the question, when I need his support?I know my English is bad, I just can’t get my question understand by people.
I suddenly just miss my best friend-Suat Hwa, and my dear dear very much.
If they are beside me, they will sure help me when I need help. They can just read my mind.
Sad, down, depressed, miserable, helpless, stupid, idiotic….
I actually wanted to cry when she say something like don’t compare her with Dr. Kim. I know I have said something wrong. But, I know I have to be strong, can’t let people just step over me without having to use any strength.
LET TIME PROVE EVERYTHING!
Ok, here goes….
I have asked a question about pKa and pI value to my biochem lecturer (though me and my friend already have a sense that she can’t give me any further explaination, except that the fact is a fact, case close!). However, I still go to her because I think biochem is her major and what she should be pro at.
This is the question: I heard and seen something lie this in Dr. Kim’s class, but I still don’t know how to calculate and get the pI value if I have 3 ionization group in an amino acid.
Answer: Don’t compare my notes with Dr. Kim’s. What she lecture is her lecture. For my lecture. For my lecture, you have to know how to calculate but it won’t come out in Exam.
Me: So, we don’t have to know how to calculate the pI if we have a 3 ionizable group in an amino acid lor??
L: It doesn’t mean you don’t have to know. You have to.
Ok, by the way, my main question is not being answered yet!
Me: Then, how?
L: What do you mean?
Me: How do we get the pI value if there is 3 ionisable group? Do we have to get the et charge of the amino acid before we can calculate? Cause I can’t understand that in Dr. Kim’s lecture. (Ting~ another time, things that I should not say)
L: That you will have to ask her, that’s in her lecture notes not in mine.
Me: But you have that in your notes also.
L: Show me! Where??!?!
Ok, then, I took out my notes (hers) and show her the statement.
What is her reaction? She look at the statement, repeatly reading it, blur, then calculating with a calculator to try on some values(which proved that she also don’t know how to get the value-I supposed)
Then, what’s next??Repeat to me the fact again and again that we have to use (pKa1 + pKa2)/2 to get pI.
Me: How do we know that the pI is between pKa2 and pKa3?
L: Ok, why do an amino acid have 3 pKa s?
Me: Because they have 3 ionizable group attached to the carbon atom??
L: Right! So, some amino acid have 3 pKa. Do you know what is a pKa??....bla bla bla…Do you know what is equilibrium??(Ok, I just noticed that I have been treated as if I know nothing about chemistry.)
So, what should I do next?? To act as if I know nothing of cause. Not that I want to act, but just for me to get down the stage better, also, I don’t know what to ask her anymore. I just want to finish the whole conversation fast, and get out of the class as soon as possible.
Then, continue some bla bla bla, which I have forgotten what I have said, which my answers are mostly something like Oh….like that. And the whole conversation ends with Thank you Dr.
Conclusion,
I would like to thank Dr Woo Kuan Kit very much (from the bottom of my heart, if u don’t believe that I thank you, I really do). I made myself looked like an idiot, because I some how sensed that you some how visualized me as one ( sorry if I misunderstood you) But, I like people to have their leg on my head, pushed me hard with their feet so as my face is totally invisible to others, (lose my face totally) and have myself think that I am an idiot. Thanks for that, and I really mean it( just to emphasise).
It’s a feeling which I have people look down on me, so that I will push myself harder, don’t be lazy all the time,to make myself want to prove myself to others, and to achieve whatever goal I set for myself.
Thank You Very Much!!
??Should we argue points after a lecture if we don’t quite understand the lecture?
??Is a lecturer, should be a pro in what he/she lectures?
??Can we discuss a point which lecturer A said in his/her lecture, with lecturer B, if we think that lecturer B is a pro and will be a better person to explain the point??
??What does she mean by: what Dr. Kim lectures is in her lecture, you should ask her?
??Isn’t that biology is am overall thing, which is a complementary of all subjects, here and there?
??Does she mean that I should not exit in the questions I ask than what is in her lectures?
??What does a lecturer does?
??Can’t we direct questions(not in lectures) to a lecturer if we think that he/she is a pro?
??Who should we ask questions if we studied something/ or want to know more detail about something?
I am the only person asking “the stupid question”, which I assume everyone in the class should have know the answer,and get bullshitted.
Who in the hell should help me? Where is the friend who supported me to ask the question, when I need his support?I know my English is bad, I just can’t get my question understand by people.
I suddenly just miss my best friend-Suat Hwa, and my dear dear very much.
If they are beside me, they will sure help me when I need help. They can just read my mind.
Sad, down, depressed, miserable, helpless, stupid, idiotic….
I actually wanted to cry when she say something like don’t compare her with Dr. Kim. I know I have said something wrong. But, I know I have to be strong, can’t let people just step over me without having to use any strength.
LET TIME PROVE EVERYTHING!
Routine Since in UTAR—12/1/2006
It’s almost a week since I last wrote.
It’s quite fun though, having most of my time filled with something, and I have less worries then last time(in UM), that I will have too much time, and don’t know what to do with all the time I have.
I barely worry that I might have nothing to do the next day or what I should do over the weekends. As for weekdays, at day, I will have all my time filled by being in UTAR, having classes, have chats with my new friends, have to wait for bus to take me to and from UTAR. It’s not like last time that I can estimate exactly my time, that I don’t have to worry that I might miss a bus or miss a bus stop for the driver to leave me behind, or even that I can’t walk to lecture, instead, my time is mostly dependent on the schedule of the bus and the mood of the bus driver to drive the bus.
As for night, after class, I will have a bath 1st, then, go to grandaunt’s house to watch soap opera. By then, time will have reached 8pm(at least), then, having to read newspaper of the particular day. By the time I finish all things done at grandaunt’s, it will be some time 9pm.
So, as I am as early “sleeper”, mostly I will be very sleepy and too tired to do anything at 11pm.
That’s almost everything about what I did everyday after I enter UTAR.
It’s quite fun though, having most of my time filled with something, and I have less worries then last time(in UM), that I will have too much time, and don’t know what to do with all the time I have.
I barely worry that I might have nothing to do the next day or what I should do over the weekends. As for weekdays, at day, I will have all my time filled by being in UTAR, having classes, have chats with my new friends, have to wait for bus to take me to and from UTAR. It’s not like last time that I can estimate exactly my time, that I don’t have to worry that I might miss a bus or miss a bus stop for the driver to leave me behind, or even that I can’t walk to lecture, instead, my time is mostly dependent on the schedule of the bus and the mood of the bus driver to drive the bus.
As for night, after class, I will have a bath 1st, then, go to grandaunt’s house to watch soap opera. By then, time will have reached 8pm(at least), then, having to read newspaper of the particular day. By the time I finish all things done at grandaunt’s, it will be some time 9pm.
So, as I am as early “sleeper”, mostly I will be very sleepy and too tired to do anything at 11pm.
That’s almost everything about what I did everyday after I enter UTAR.
First week in UTAR—6/1/2006
It’s the fifth day since I came down KL on 2nd of January. Here, I will summaries all what I have dome in these 5 days because I was too tired to write anything for the blog, I even to refresh what the lecturers have taught in the class. Also, I can’t online at the place I am staying.
1st day:- Went down to KL with my parents, cause my things are terribly a lot, which is a total of full load of a car boot, without any space spare. Took my fifth aunt who is staying in KL back with us. It’s kind of like a free ride back to KL, also, we have to car pool to safe the environment right:p
Unload all my things to a room which I rented, situated at the second floor where my grandaunt lives. Then, went out to try take a bus to UTAR. The total time taken to travel nowhere is 3 hours!! Then, went back to unpack my things, bath, then have dinner with my parents, then slept early that night.
2nd day:- Went to UTAR with the companion of my parents, but when we reached wangsamaju LRT station, met some UTARians who are willing to help me get to UTAR. Thanks!
A half day of orientation, with the only person I knew before- Aik Aun, who also don’t have any friends in UTAR. Then have my 1st public relations class and also lectures on structural chemistry and cell biology. The lecturers are total, hundred percent better then those in UM. But, this is just my 1st impression on them…
Went back, totally tired. But luckily, my grandaunt have fried rice, and have had that as my dinner, which also make me feel like home, not feeling down and depressed.
3rd day:- Went to UTAR a bit later, cause I have class only at 10am. But, the house owner thought that I over slept, and woke me up at 7:15 am. It’s very kind of her, but….I WANT MORE SLEEP!!! Can’t get into sleep anymore, so, woke up my dear dear to chat with me on the phone.
After orientation, we have had a tea session, which I have a chance to know a lecturer better (she teaches me cell biology->Dr. Kim). She is cool~
Back at home, past grandaunt’s house, and wow, she cooked a full dinner with rice! So, I have had that as my dinner. How lucky I am to stay here, near to my dearest grandaunt! Thanks!( I don’t know what more I can I say:p)
4th day, today!!
We have had a mass call today as a closing for the orientation ( but I still cannot understand what is a mass call). We cited the Rukun Negara and some student declaration and…that’s the end of the orientation???? Just not what I expect from my past experience in UM.
Met more friends today, and talked to more people as each day passed. Hope I can improve on the number of my friends:D
Back home, washed my clothes, which were “collectives” from day 1. Then grand aunt asked me if I wanted to go to the pasar malam. So, I did. On the way, Yee Lin and Ling Ling called and say they will meet up with me at the pasar malam, at front door of 7-eleven. So, after that even it’s raining, we and a friend of them(sorry, I forgot her name already), continue “shopping”
To conclude, it’s not bad staying here, as it’s really quite convenient in every way. However, the main problem is that I have to wake up 2 hours earlier than the time I have to reach UTAR. Also, I have to take 2 busses to get there. It’s about RM 2 per day just for transport purposes.
1st day:- Went down to KL with my parents, cause my things are terribly a lot, which is a total of full load of a car boot, without any space spare. Took my fifth aunt who is staying in KL back with us. It’s kind of like a free ride back to KL, also, we have to car pool to safe the environment right:p
Unload all my things to a room which I rented, situated at the second floor where my grandaunt lives. Then, went out to try take a bus to UTAR. The total time taken to travel nowhere is 3 hours!! Then, went back to unpack my things, bath, then have dinner with my parents, then slept early that night.
2nd day:- Went to UTAR with the companion of my parents, but when we reached wangsamaju LRT station, met some UTARians who are willing to help me get to UTAR. Thanks!
A half day of orientation, with the only person I knew before- Aik Aun, who also don’t have any friends in UTAR. Then have my 1st public relations class and also lectures on structural chemistry and cell biology. The lecturers are total, hundred percent better then those in UM. But, this is just my 1st impression on them…
Went back, totally tired. But luckily, my grandaunt have fried rice, and have had that as my dinner, which also make me feel like home, not feeling down and depressed.
3rd day:- Went to UTAR a bit later, cause I have class only at 10am. But, the house owner thought that I over slept, and woke me up at 7:15 am. It’s very kind of her, but….I WANT MORE SLEEP!!! Can’t get into sleep anymore, so, woke up my dear dear to chat with me on the phone.
After orientation, we have had a tea session, which I have a chance to know a lecturer better (she teaches me cell biology->Dr. Kim). She is cool~
Back at home, past grandaunt’s house, and wow, she cooked a full dinner with rice! So, I have had that as my dinner. How lucky I am to stay here, near to my dearest grandaunt! Thanks!( I don’t know what more I can I say:p)
4th day, today!!
We have had a mass call today as a closing for the orientation ( but I still cannot understand what is a mass call). We cited the Rukun Negara and some student declaration and…that’s the end of the orientation???? Just not what I expect from my past experience in UM.
Met more friends today, and talked to more people as each day passed. Hope I can improve on the number of my friends:D
Back home, washed my clothes, which were “collectives” from day 1. Then grand aunt asked me if I wanted to go to the pasar malam. So, I did. On the way, Yee Lin and Ling Ling called and say they will meet up with me at the pasar malam, at front door of 7-eleven. So, after that even it’s raining, we and a friend of them(sorry, I forgot her name already), continue “shopping”
To conclude, it’s not bad staying here, as it’s really quite convenient in every way. However, the main problem is that I have to wake up 2 hours earlier than the time I have to reach UTAR. Also, I have to take 2 busses to get there. It’s about RM 2 per day just for transport purposes.
January 16, 2006
updating my post in my blog
I am currently studying in Utar, that I stayed in a place where I can't get to online everyday like last time.
I can only online in the library in UTAR.
Will update my blog and tell u guys wat my life in Utar is all about when I go back Penang for my chinese new year break.
C ya~
I can only online in the library in UTAR.
Will update my blog and tell u guys wat my life in Utar is all about when I go back Penang for my chinese new year break.
C ya~
January 1, 2006
Happy New Year 2006!
It's a brand new year~and here are my new year resolutions:-
1. I want health, which is that I won't fall sick easily.
2. I want happiness, and not to always feel down.
3. I will have to find a lot of friends, and not to feel lonely.
4. I want my time to be used just nice, so that I won't feel too tired or too bored.
5. I want my love ones to have more time for me. (but not more till always together, or be apart for months or weeks.)
6. I want to be hardworking on my studies, and get good results.
7. I want to suit myself better in the new environment.
8. I want to be more matured.
9. I want to have myself more independent.
10. I want myself to be more loving.
11. I want myself to talk only when it's time for me to talk.
12. I want to be nice to everyone.
13. I want myself to know how to spend money wisely.
14. I want to have my time all set right on time.
Lastly, I wish that god will look after me no matter what I am doing, so that I have a better direction on what I should do.
Thanks God.
And the most important thing is that I will have to sacrifies something to get those things I wish to have.
Hope I can do it!
1. I want health, which is that I won't fall sick easily.
2. I want happiness, and not to always feel down.
3. I will have to find a lot of friends, and not to feel lonely.
4. I want my time to be used just nice, so that I won't feel too tired or too bored.
5. I want my love ones to have more time for me. (but not more till always together, or be apart for months or weeks.)
6. I want to be hardworking on my studies, and get good results.
7. I want to suit myself better in the new environment.
8. I want to be more matured.
9. I want to have myself more independent.
10. I want myself to be more loving.
11. I want myself to talk only when it's time for me to talk.
12. I want to be nice to everyone.
13. I want myself to know how to spend money wisely.
14. I want to have my time all set right on time.
Lastly, I wish that god will look after me no matter what I am doing, so that I have a better direction on what I should do.
Thanks God.
And the most important thing is that I will have to sacrifies something to get those things I wish to have.
Hope I can do it!
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