看破世情

为人一生来世间，能为职责尽了愿，
儿女长大心皆满，其无他求日夜间，
夫妻本是同林鸟，大限来时各自飘，
各造业罪各自了，不为情缠得逍遥，
人来世间如梦境，家庭分明是妄心，
亲族本时宿恩怨，冤亲债主尽团圆，
业债还尽各回转，了尽冤债自清闲，
父母子女宿业就，皆是宿世结冤仇，
今生痛苦通要守，债务清还身清幽，
仇债清还因缘了，妻夫各个东西飘，
一切因果皆自晓，自认命运烦恼了，
世间圆满是暂时，生离死别各奔驰，
再深情份无上比，弹指之间即过时，
本来命运一个人，后来慢慢选结婚，
家庭几年热滚滚，再过几年东西分，
人生在世是瞬然，富贵名利是因缘，
幻化因缘时转变，空无一物归本然，
奉劝世人勿哀怨，生离死别众过关，
古今人人皆回转，来世为人刹那间，
本来就是受空空，出生落地成一员，
父母辛苦来支援，养到长大任务完，
家家户户各有经，好坏各个说不清，
人间本来叫苦境，快醒快吾免伤心。

~ 典壁尼嘛 仁波切~

家

“家”
一个对我来说很重要很重要的字~

对外人~
我可以以不理不睬
或是~一点都不放在心上
但~一扯上家我就会一路追到底

痛彻心扉~
是我不久前才深深体会到的感觉
就是一种比与男/女朋友分手还要痛的感觉

怎么说呢？
就是~ 一种让你又气又恨，又疼又爱，又同时担心与失望~
喉咙里卡着一颗不上又不下的一团热热得球状物~
一种想哭~但，有哭笑不得的感觉~
一种觉得他人很不会想，但又觉得自己是啥东西的感觉~
一种~连听你最爱的音乐，做你最爱的东西都在痛的感觉~

嗯。。。。当怒与哀交际。。。
当烦恼加上不安。。。
当泪水加上一团气与不甘。。。

明明~
一切的一切真的与我一点关系都没有
但~
就因为一个字：“家”
而打乱了我人生的步伐~

我只能告诉我自己~
这是上天给与我一连串的考验~

勇敢地面对~
不逃避~
挨过了，一切的一切都是我的！！

。。。

今夜特别宁静~
是因为大家都醒了？
还是因为大家都还在冷静思考？
还是~大家都在压抑？
还是~大家只是不要再开始吵闹？

希望一切的一切~
大家都会长大多一些~

=.='''

无所谓

高兴的~我无牵无挂~
高兴的~我什么都没有~
高兴的~我无所谓~我真的什么都无所谓~

小孩成长的过程经过一连串的教育
所谓的教育，不一定需要考到第一名~
所谓的教育，是要建立一个人的人格，创造一个“人”~
这就是所谓的 input!

从教育之中~
很重要的一点就是：Socialisation
Socialisation 的意义在于：教导人与人沟通的规则
这规则就像。。。有红绿灯。。。
让人知道红灯时停，绿灯时走~
教导人会看什么是人生路程的红灯~什么时候是绿灯~
虽然红绿两者很简单~但， 有人就是想偏掉。。。
我把它比喻成闯红灯。。。
闯红灯~很有快感~很舒服~
但，它致命！或让你死不去（这才恐怖！！）

社会~
它有它的Rules and regulation~
但~不要忘记~
附加的条件还有Terms and Conditions apply~

人~就是有欲望~
比如：我要的东西很多~
但，我不能任性的说要就要~
我不能不则手段去要~ 也不能逃避~
想办法去得到，从 terms and condition 下手~
律师所谓的： law也是会有漏洞的~

人生~就是这样~
它是一个考验~
它是一个相似Survivor的游戏~

To Live or To Die~

我真的真的无所谓~
因为~我要大家都快乐！！

科学洗脑篇

话说~前天晚上：
---
祺：我觉得~你的整个set和我朋友的整个set不一样~ 他要得和你能给的得不一样& vice versa
华:你为什么要把事情搞得那么复杂? 你读太多书了啦~ 世界上不是每个事情都像科学的程式, 还有set还有这，那的~
---

所谓的科学，就是教导我们生活的方式~我们生活的每一点，每一滴都是科学的创立品！！
在我的生活方式里~analysis/analytical mind 就是出于科学的程式~
So~~我有一亿五万个为什么 ^.^ 任何事/物，我都会问：为什么？？

Example of 我的为什么：
- 为什么人要找另一半？到最后，又这样辛苦，又为了什么？？
- 为什么人总是说一套做一套？举例：常说要活在当下，但，却忧虑那看不到的明天/晚年？？明天还会醒来都还不知道，为什么要忧虑这么多？
- 为什么人人要成为unique的~ 但，就是要放弃自己的固执与坚持，变成他人所希望看到的？
- 为什么人要去八事不关己的事情？
- 为什么一个人就相等孤独？她那一个人就可以与世界联系，要那么多麻烦来做啥？
- 为什么别人就活得好好的~你要为他洗脑？你有何着数？ 分享？屁！
为什么？为什么？为什么？

我就是个怪人！你拿我怎样？
说我太过于固执，导致别人不是说不过我，而是不想再跟我讲？so? 就是因为道不同，所以不相谋！
说我觉得自己很聪明？ 嗯~去问问认识我的人,我除了讲笑假厚脸皮时说我聪明外，其他，我都再而三的强调我是super idiot!

所以？结论？
我是科学怪人！
WATEVER!

家教

一个人的家教很重要
不管你身上穿的，拿的，吃的是否是名牌~
或不管你身份高或低~
不管你贫穷，富贵~
如果没有家教，
对我来说，你的一切一切都属零！！

好比说：
你把你女儿送去学芭蕾舞
两年后，她学成，
拿到全国第一~
但， 她总是对你不理不睬
对你一点基本的尊重都没有
礼貌，对她来说，完完全全是个陌生的词汇~
那~~她那第一，有鬼用？？

又好比：
有个人身份，地位贫贱~
但，他懂事理，
有礼貌，有家教。。。
那~这人是否比例子一的那个她值得我们尊敬？？

总之~
家教，教养，品德~
还有，个人的人格比任何物质上的东东来的重要！！

压抑

可能~
我已经习惯压抑自己
压抑已经是种习惯
习惯到。。。我有时忘记我要的是什么。。。

压抑自己
自己所要的都不重要
重要的是
每个人都快乐
身边的人都可以被满足~

其实，我快乐吗？？
嗯~现在有点模糊~
有时，觉得世界上该有的我都拥有
不该有的，我也有了~
那~我还要有何要求呢？

是爱吗？
还是~那只是家人和朋友给我的压力？？
要爱有错吗？
没有要爱也有错吗？

混乱了~
我到底要的是什么呢？
我在压抑吗？
神啊~请给我一个可以与我分担的人！！

龟论

人与人的沟通真得很复杂！
硬碰硬，结果会是两败俱伤，再嫁祸于他人~
强遇弱，结果会是弱者被伤的很严重~
当某一方作出改善，将心比心，为他人着想，他/她就会被另一方欺负~

龟论之沟通篇：
你不动则，我不动
你要害我，我缩进壳里
你偏要弄我，我偏冷静
万物之变~我以不变应万变~
冷静，冷静，再冷静~
忍，忍，再忍~
我已最冷静的心理，应最苛刻的万物~
表现最自然的自己~

龟仙万岁！！

初生之犊

Qi: Sometimes, I felt bad after I talk a lot~ especially after telling ppl the anger and unsatisfactory in me, or after a long talk about someone I have stories about.....
Pipi: If u have a blog, there is nothing to fear of to tell somebody anything.

Sometimes, I just feel....not right~ felt bad bout talking too much~ afraid that I might hurt someone, or make someone angry, and that's the only thing I am super afraid of. These few days, it seems like, I am mentally a bit stressed out, and even when I am asleep, I have all things and plans working in my brain~ so, its kind of mentally very tired, and if this is when I will say something that haven't went thru my brain, and then, I will feel bad about it =.='''

So~ the best thing is that I keep my mouth shut, and its really not ok if ppl wanted to get me start talking, coz....something bad might happen to u, or, to me~ Its like~ I haven't been having nice talk with my parents since last wednesday, and~ tonight, I have been talking non-stop since almost 10pm to almost 12 midnight =.=''' But, this kind of situation is still controllable, coz they are my parents and that they know me super well enough that I can't really say something wrong that will make them angry with me, or anything that hurt them. On the other hand, since I have been working since like 2 weeks ago, so~ I am quite afraid that I might say something wrong to my colleague, made them angry, or beh syok with me~ I am really Sorry~. Maybe~ as I have been telling myself over and over again, to keep my mouth shut! Unfortunately, its really very hard, but I should start applying the "Keep my mouth Shut" theory=.='''

Ok~ wat is the初生之犊about??
犊can be literally translated as a calf, a young cow
初生之犊means a newly born calf~
That describes me very well, becoz I am born in the year of cow/bull, in which, I am very cow/bull, as I always describe myself, coz, a bull will only move a little if some one whipped them once. So, a bull have to be continuously whipped, so that they can get work done.
I am a calf, which have no fear of what-so-ever. Whatever comes to me is "Ok", "No problem" and I will try my very best to get things done in a very cow/bull"ish" way. The only problem in me that I need to improve is my temper, my mouth, my stubborn"est" and learn how to coorperate and live in group.

Quite a lot for me to learn~
Hope that with my attitude of "No Fear", I can overcome obstacles in front of me.

自私

昨天，某朋友call我~
聊着。。。聊着。。。
他问我说什么时候有空去喝茶，或出来走走
我说，不得空~
就算有，我也会留下来做我自己的事~
其余的，再看我要不要拿出来给朋友~
再看是什么样的朋友。
他说：做人不可以这样自私的~
以前，我只有一张厕纸，
我朋友要用，我也先给他。
我说：那是你的事~
我总觉得，
做人就得先想自己
在把别人放进来~

嗯~我承认！
我自私！！
但，如果我自私的很快乐~
我自私的不伤人，不害人
我自私的把我觉得是我氛围的事做好
那，我觉得自私是件很好的事！！
这样的自私，
对我的健康，我的人生有很大的帮助，
那~何乐不为？

我自私~
但，我很快乐！
吹咩！！！哼！！BLEK!!

忍

有个友人告诉我，她忍无可忍了~
嗯~ 我就说~
既然回头了选择已下了，
就只有忍！

我人生唯一一段感情~
就是这样~
忍了又忍，让了又让~
就这样，
换回来的是：分手！

说起来~
这样的结局到目前为止，我觉得。。。。
可能过太久了吧~
我对感情事有点麻木了~
对于我所付出的，不是没有回报
因为~感情是互相的。

所以~
我就送了我那朋友一个字：忍！
要不，我的想法就是：
人，为什么要这么犯贱？皮痒？
活得好好的~
没事要找事来烦？？

结论？
还是：忍！
要不？
就是让自己麻木，事不关己~
不能活？
我还不是好好的~高兴快乐的？^.^

工作 vs. 做工

已经工作超过一个星期~
但，在我脑海里的我从来没有当工作/做工 as a 必要 or a 需要
工作/做工对我来说是一个。。。怎么说。。。
是个人生的一个过程
是个经验累积的程序
是个学习的旅程
是个精神上的训练。。。

刚好，今天，薪水的一天~
可能使我不当工作是为了赚钱
或，可能我从不当我所付出的所有需要回报
或，可能我做事只要有人肯定，对我来说就是最好的回报
当我看到我的 payment slip~
我很惊讶~
为什么会得到如此多钱~
我到底做了什么？
高兴的~回家告诉我老哥我赚的钱好多哦~
他看了看我的 slip,说：
虾咪！你每天做工就这么少钱？
我说： 就是这样啊~ 我的工作就只能赚到这么多~但，我很满足^.^

Expectation~
当一个人从没有对任何所付出的要任何物质上的回报~
满足感会让你活得很高兴，很幸福！！

忽然觉得我很酷
做人很潇洒~
或许
许多人或许会问我：
你就赚那 <鸡水甘多>，你可又想过你的未来？
你够花吗？
储蓄呢？
嗯~~我的回答？
人常会在书写上说~<<活在当下>>！
所以？就酱^.^

空

色既是空，空既是色。

万物从无中生有，从万物生空~

空，是一个做人的最高境界~
空，是个必修课
要达到空, 就需<无你, 无他, 无是非>~

虽然, 我对事事都事不关己
但, 活在这万物都很重要的世上很难~
因为, 思想上静
但, 心是血肉合成
很难静下来~
当思想与心不能合二为一
构成<乱>, <烦>

要坚持??? 要配合???

Post-Industrial Society

Living in the post-industrial society, information is wat ppl sell, buy and need. The importance of information can be observed even at home, where all family members have their eyes locked to the computer screen, hands on keyboard, and sharing of information thru mouth, without looking up from the screen ^.^

The flow of new information is so great that no1 can actually know everything and is "smart" enough that they know everything, coz even if u know something at time A, at time A+ 1 second, information found might be equivalent to rubbish/nonsense, coz its outdated already. Hence, we humans have to be humble in learning/listening, eager to learn and absorb new information and not to be greedy to want to know a lot of things, otherwise, wat u get is just not applicable as well.

What info this post suppose to send over is~ mom, even internet is very interesting, rest ur eyes~ don see silly silly stuff, ok? ^.^

Time Factor

When we have all the time in the world, we tend to have the idea of "lets just let things be done tomolo". When we have just little time to spare for some work, we tend to have the the idea of "y do we want to accumulate so much work until now?"

When our time is "free", we just donno how to take control of the situation, make use of every seconds of it so as to make life work in a smooth flowing, proper way, until we got stuck in a corner, having only just minutes to spare, then, suddenly~ all planning "machinary" in our brain come into action just like that!

I am born in the year of Bull/Cow, in which, as it is, I need to be pushed or forced, then only I will take one step ahead.
For example~ it was ages since I last have my toilet+wadrobe properly tidied, and the whole place have spider webs, dust and some dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure cloth alone. But, when my cousin, staying over at my place say that the whole place is "dirty", then, I start to brush the whole place with a TOOTHBRUSH!! TWICE in a week!! =.=''' Which means, I am that kind that do things to its best when my body start working, but won't even move my finger tips when I am not in the idea of doing anything.

Well~ I can be considered......determined~ as in.....if I want to do something, it will be close to perfect (coz, I am not a 100% person); or~ as in...if u ask me to do something, and I say "OK", means, the thing will be done on time, no matter wat on earth happens.

I M One of a Kind^.^

应该

在这世上，没有谁或什么是“应该”的~
举例：
有人说：在读书是启用父母的钱是应该的
或：某事情应该是行走A线，B线是不可以的
或：男朋友应该位女朋友做某某东西
或：男女有别， 某男/女为另一个性别做某事是应该的
No....No.....
世上是没有如此这般的应该！
如果，“应该”在我们的生活当中占很重要的位置
那~是不是该是时候反省？
反省啥？
为什么某某应该跟着你想象的路线走？
为什么别人就应该做某某？而你~又做了什么？

应该？
世界上就是没有应该
只有人类的自私，傲慢与自我中心！！

Cute tortoise at home

Hiding in a tiny shade

Nemo, the tiny fish and Squirt, the turtle >.<'''

Good Enough

Sometimes~ one might think/feel that he/she is good enough to do something, and that they are able to handle something to its very best. However, nothing on earth is that easy as in words. Lessons have to be learned and applied, but it all depends on how fast things are absorbed and analyzed. I am quite a slow learner, where I don't actually absorb things when they 1st came to me, but over a period of time, I will get the whole picture, understand, learn and never forget.

In this fast pace world, no matter how fast one learn something, one will never be fast pace enough to be good enough. Information flow is faster than the speed lightning, millions of new information is send across the globe millions of times every single minute, and no one will ever be good enough.

My solution for my case?
To be beaten, evaluate, work out, then becoming stronger.

Erm....wat will I do now?
Hanging on the net, play, eat and sleep! =.='''
After all, I am the one that is desperately in need of something, but earth still work on its own path no matter I exist or not.

Nitez!!

Rainie day

I've been missing like ages ago~ Just drop by for some typing exercise^.^

It's been raining since the dawn of Monday till evening of Tuesday~ Erm....raining is not a big deal, but I am quite scared and worried about flood. Now~the thermometer shows temperature of 24 degrees, which is almost the normal temperature of Cameron Highlands^.^ Loving that, but...I am still sweating =.='''

Another thing is: Sometimes, some little thing just provoke me, make me want to smack u in the face, but~ wat I did is to use words that I meant to make u know that, it's just not the right way to start off a conversation, or it's not a right way to converse with ppl. However~ maybe I don't actually say things directly, coz: firstly, I am not any1 to tell u that, coz that's ur own attitude; and secondly, it might be just me and myself, who just don't like the way things go.

So~ the conclusion??
WATEVER!!!!

Sounds like Dad

Suddenly~ after the phone call with my younger cousin sis, I feel I sounded like my dad.

Erm....how should I put it.....well....its kind of~ when u are thinking more, or considering more than ppl younger than u, and u feel like its your responsibility to analyse thing for them, but at the same time, they have to put that analysis into real consideration.

And~ now, I can catch a little bit of how my dad feels and wat is going in his brain when he is trying to convey something to me, while at the same time, I am making fun of the whole conversation. It feels like....I am talking serious now, and wat I say is for your own good~ y can't you think for yourself and analyse things in a rational way, and some more I am the one having increasing blood pressure and analysis piled up in my brain~ while, u are making fun of wat I am saying =.='''

Sorry dad~ but I am really big enough now that I can settle things of my own myself. When situations are in the safe side, I will do things by my own independently; and if things are a bit serious, I will go to my bro for help, and if things are really serious, then only I will seek your opinion. But, of coz, I will consider things well enough, that I won't consult u only when it's between live and death.

Ok~ back to the topic....well~ I already did wat I could~ and I have carried out my responsibility with the best effort I can.

Aih.....it's really hard to be some sort of parents or guardian~

天真

有时候 我还蛮天真 蛮容易骗的

就好比 心情低落时
不管谁人是否真心的问候我 我都会超开心的
然后 当心情平复下来 新血来潮 打开电脑按一按
原来 只是~ 一场游戏一场梦^.^
不过~还算OK~
至少 还可以骗到我这天真的白痴
让我高兴一下 没有继续陷在不好的心情里
谢啦！

嗯~
还有就是~
有时 朋友或谁人跟我讲些有的没的
我都会相信
然后过了大概一个礼拜 才恍然大悟 --> 被骗了啦！笨蛋！！

就是这样~
我有点白痴 慢两三拍 神经病。。。
嗯~ 可有听过：
天才与疯子 只是一线只差？？
是的~ 我就是那疯子！！
哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~

天使 vs. 恶魔之战

我的世界里
住着三个不一样的我~
《天使 。 恶魔。 “我” 》
每每到了考试
三个我就会开打
续千年前的三国战~
天使~总要我努力奋斗尽我的全力打到底~
恶魔~总要我无所谓 自暴自弃 懒散~
这时“我”就出现了~
“我”就是不喜欢被强逼做东西
所以，“我”对另俩的抗压法就是：
我就做我的~你管得着吗？哼！

所以，结果肋~就是~
半桶水 + 还好 + 就酱 + 堕落 + 无一是处！

加油！！人生的另一个阶段就靠这个礼拜了！！
甘巴跌！！

The truth and nothing but the truth

Lately, the trend that is spreading all over on everything named on earth is "the truth". Everything named on earth includes, entertainment industry, politics, relationship with people, technology.....erm....almost everything~

Of coz, lies are still said and done, and those lies are lies that we know that its a lie by itself, and we know that it is "for our good" and "their own good". Some are acceptable, but some are just sickening.

With the fast evolving technology and network, making human connection so far, but yet so near, how long do u think a lie and remain undetected, unseen, unheard and unknown? Words and doings are all over the net just minutes after an action is taken. There is a saying: "The spread of words is worse than the spread of disease", and now, we have everything on our finger tips, so, anything one say, is a "pandemic", spreading around the globe.

Erm....as I say~ its a trend now, that the truth is wat ppl wants to see and hear. Lies are just disgusting in this trend (erm...that's wat I think la~).

HOWEVER, how much truth can one bear?

p/s: pls help me out with my 1st poll^.^

Accusation

I think I am quite an easy-going, no problem, "anything", "whatever" kind of person~ but~ when it comes to accusation, question or suspect wat I have been doing or wat I say, that is when the fire in me flame and the blood in my veins boil.

I am that kind that if I say something, I will surely do it~ if I leave some doubt between me and the things I can achieve, this means I will try my best~ and if there are words I play around with when I answer your question, means I make it the easiest way for you to understand wat I am trying to send across by not directly hit the bulls-eye. In short, I do and say only things I have serious grasp and control, and all that come from me are with serious consideration with a full length of plan and effort in them.

The thing is I am not that kind that say A and do B or C~ or that kind that promise you to get things done, but ended up I send you an "737"~ the only condition is --> remember to note my word, coz every word counts, either I am playing with words, having doubt in the accent or between words, or I am making a direct hit (a statement).

So~ with that, I would like to end with --> I hate being question or being suspicious over wat I said and done, or being accused!! Another thing is~ I am very particular in words, sentence or accent of any conversation, including SMS. Every little thing counts.

p/s: trying to relief those few incidents in one blog~ *Phew*~

恍神篇

我的人生有许多活在恍神的世界的时候。。。刚刚恍了一下，突然， 灵感来了, 写了一个RAP短篇：

<我有我的调调 我活在我的世界 通过各个媒介 想像我的未来 我的未来 一直我很期待 期待奇迹的精彩 让我们 make a wish~ PEACE!!>

哈哈~ 酷吧！

We and "We" as one

Lets begin with a note: let we as plural, and "we" as singular.

Ok~
I heard a song played on tv just now....its about being one/to be one/living as one~ and i was a bit curious~ erm....if we are one, then....are we different or we are the same?

We are individuals that are unique in some sense, coz....erm....we are born having a brain with different "inputs", but "we" are one becoz we are living in the same sociological, geographical, historical...background.
The curiosity is~y are we always being encouraged by slogans, songs, and brain input that we have to become "we", BUT, when "time" comes, "we" are always being told that "we" are actually we?? (a bit complicated huh?? That's my main idea^.^)

Being educated, have brain of our own, having thought to have our own analytical and brain power, we always thought that we are as in "we", until "we" are told that "we" are actually we. So~ the point here is --> do u actually want us to be we or "we"??

"We" are one, and one have the power to do anything!!

Love from parents

Dear mom and dad~

I know you guys care for my safety and my well-being so much that you try to think on behalf of me. For example, analyse situations, or predict future, or see things I do in your eyes, and then tell me y I shouldn't do such things. That is good, I love that~ coz no other people other than the closest family members will tell you straight to you face that u are stupid to do such things.

However~~ all things said by any1 on earth are advice, and the final decision lies on my hand. So, from wat I hear and get from all of u, I will have to analyse them wisely, put some into action if I am wrong, and put some into the drawer of "advice" in cases I think I am right~ After all, I know my life better than all of you, coz, I know and understand where about I am standing, who are the frens I get together with, wat I do and why I do that. There are always reasons for something to happen, and something I do.

Don't worry too much~ I understand, and I do analyse things with my brain~ BUT, of coz, advice, love and care are never too much~ so~ keep sending me advice with statements, PLUS explainations^.^

Love,
Your cute daughter^.^

Target of life

If~ there is no such system as point or percentage in life, what will be your target in life?

For example, if there is no such thing as a 100% or 10 marks for the test or exam u are taking, wat is the target that u aim for, so as for u to be grateful, and happy about it?
OR
If there is nothing as in how many percent u will get in something u do in your work, wat is the target that you aim for so as to make u strive?
OR
Imagine there is never been an invention of numbers, or alphabet, or even currency, wat is the target that you might aim for in your life, "living", not "surviving"? (living means, u live your life to the max; while surviving means, just pure living with air, food and the necessities)

My target?
Just one word, "song"(in hokkien/canton), "syok" (in malaysian term) ^.^
Well, its just all about pleasure and enjoying myself in things I do^.^

放弃

有时候，觉得社会有太多的诱惑，让我觉得，“放弃" 是最好的出路~

放弃，是舍弃原本的我~
放弃，是拥抱最简单的人生~
放弃，是迷失自己~
放弃，是追求人生的另一段路的开始。。。

我渐渐离开原本的梦，
渐渐拥抱最简单的人生，
慢慢的迷失自己~
开创着另一个人生的目标。。。

借口成了我的伴侣~
堕落成了我的人生~
放弃成了我人生的路途~

我还生存着~
但，我还活着吗？

Badminton Finals (Olympic)

At last~ the 1st medal for Malaysia in Olympic 2008~
21-12, 21-8

Though its a bit disappointing, with all those mistakes made by Lee Chong Wei in the match, but seriously~ Imagine carrying hopes and pressure from 24.8 million people on your shoulder~ its really tough!

Ok~ back to some comments to be made.
After 7 years of life in badminton (if not mistaken), Lin Dan became "handsome"er than that I 1st saw in years back, with the body tone and stuff, well~ I guess he gets all the appreciation from the country~ Getting back to Malaysian (with Lee Chong Wei, 6 years of battle on the court)~ after so many years of struggle on the court, erm....I mean....we can see the difference in the whole image of our player.
Well~material support really make some difference~ mentally and physically, as to say.

To End:
CONGRATULATIONS MALAYSIA~
SILVER@.@

P/S: Lee Chong Wei is currently ranked 2nd in Badminton and Lin Dan ranked 1st according to stats.

Stupid me~

I was talking to some1 about my future and wat I wanted to do after my final exam~ when I found wat I actually need to do during that period.

In my imagination, there are so much for me to catch up with my life after I end the whole Biomed thing. E.g.:
1. To learn languages, for my future usage.
2. To get my body moving, by signing up for some aerobics or dance class.
3. The most important thing, to support my own life, by getting any job, related or unrelated to my field of study, as long as I can get money for me to sign up for courses and for my food.
4. The super important thing, is to strengthen my foundation, by reading things I missed out during these 3 years of study and EXAMs.
5. At the same time, searching and getting ready to fly myself to my target^.^

Will I be able to fulfill my imagination?
I am not very sure bout that....coz....the more I know about life, the more I think I am stupid and such an idiot.

Suicide

Sometimes~u just feels like killing urself, and end everything or make everything happened unseen, unheard, and un"remembered".
Sometimes~u just feel that u are such an idiot, which cannot reach either end of the line in life.
Sometimes~u just feel so tired that u wanted to sleep forever, and never wake up ever again.
Sometimes~u just feel there is nothing more left on earth that makes u feel living is great.
Sometimes~u just feel life is so hard~ where u can't be too much of urself, and u can't be too pretending, even standing neutral is a fault.

Everything happen~ and they carry good reason behind them to happen right in front of our eyes. Its just how u interpret the meaning of things that happen. As said in sociology, the things that happen itself is not bias, giving one good thing and another the bad. Its just the person that interprets the situation/event that make things complicated.

How am I now?
Not really good in some sense~got a huge bucket of ice water dump onto my head right to my toes. See grey, black and white on everything I see now.

The good thing is I am still conscious, and still have my analytical mind intact....

I AM WHO I AM!!!

腻

本人，算是一个很容易对某事或物觉得腻的念旧之人。。。

怎么说呢。。。
就是~有些事，不能出现在我的眼前太多次，因为。。。 就是：闷，腻。。。
有些梗，不能玩太多次，因为，很没点~ 简称：老梗！
有些话，不能出现太多次， 因为， 玩多了就显得：无聊， 很假！

就是。。。。。
反正，就是那些我心情好，又无聊时， 我会陪你玩一下下，然后随便打发你走； 心情不好，还有东西在脑子里时，我会突然爆发，炸得你体无完肤，管你去死！

拜托~不要整天丢老梗！
我受不了啦！！！！

p/s: 锵锵~~误会就要在此诞生了~~ 嗯。。。*无言* 就。。。有点对某事。物。有点腻~就酱~~

Convo

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Congrats to all my frens who just graduated early this week, or during these few weeks~ great job in getting thru obstacles on ur journey in getting the 1st ever degree of ur life^.^

1st, I need to apologize for not being able to attend the convo of u guys, where ever u guys are, UM, USM, UKM or UPM~ coz I am really quite in the "pek chek" time zone. My time is packed with assignments, reports, presentations, future....etc...etc.... there are too much for me to get done. I know~ they are all excuses, that I made up for myself and for u guys to forgive me~ Sorry~

The thing is~ I am that kind that easily flood my eyes.....so~ that's one of the reasons I don't really like to attend such events, unless its my big bro's thingy~ or family thingy that I can't exclude myself out. Though I know that I will get back wat I did to others, by having no 1 at all to attend my convo in the end~ but its really ok:D coz that makes the "touching" event minimise to its lowest extend.

So.....wat I can do is....congrats all of u out there thru the net~

Have fun guys^.^

七分

人常说~吃饭时，吃七分饱就好了，既健康，不伤胃，又不会爱睡。。。嘻嘻~后面是我自己加的 :p

我把这道理融入了做人的道理~ 做人,做到七分就OK了 ^.^
然而, 我懂~ 你们都会说: 既然有本事做到一百分, 为什么要停留在七十分? 能做第一~为什么要当第二? 为什么做人不要拼完, 半途而废? 为什么要少人一截?
Ok~ 其实,道理很简单~ 当第一不是最好的~ 他只是名好, 地位好~ 但~人生短短几十年, 那么辛苦, 那么拼~ 然后错过了很多美好的风景~ 那....我宁可不那么辛苦, 不得到最好的, 不做第一....

七分的人生其实很简单~ 就是~ 普通~ 不是最好, 但还享有差不多的优惠人生~ 努力, 但不拼~ 简单, 但不单调~ 简称: 笑看人生~

在我这年龄层会想这些....嗯.....好像不是很对的时机.....但~我就是这样^.^

Middle-man

Being a middle person is just not as easy as it sound~ a lot of patience is required~
The 2nd thing a middle person should have is trust on both parties~ To have to constantly make promise to both parties, a strong trust have to be built in the inner self of the middle man~

It's really quite frustrating sometimes, that I have to make promises I myself can't even convince myself that something I promise will sure to happen. The most frustrating and most annoying part is not having to make promises, but, is to be constantly being "reminded" again and again and being asked the same question again and again after I risked my "face", promising u something.

I know~ it's sometimes hard to 100% or even 80% believe in some1, but, the thing about frenship, and teamwork, is to have trust in every1~ no matter wat u personally think about the other party, u still have to have trust in them, as in cooperating as a team, reaching for the same goal.

I have all patience on earth~ but at times, its just very annoying being a middle man, having to please both parties, talking sweet to both sides, trust both sides, while keeping the team intact prevent it to fall apart.
It's really tiring, annoying and frustrating~

Nobody on earth is an island~ if u can trust no one but urself, how on earth are u going live a happy, contented life? I mean~ maybe that's not wat u are trying to achieve in ur whole life, but then~ isn't that sad that u are nv happy bout things, nv have trust, and is always tensed?

Another thing~ if we can do every simple thing on our own, y want to be the commander and king of the world, seeing ppl running around doing something, while u stand there commanding and giving orders?

Mirror

Humans~ they are nv satisfied in wat they have, and they always see that other ppl around them have better things than them~

As said~ everyone have their own story behind they appearance~ I have my own story behind mine also~ We will see, y ppl around me can live their life so peacefully, like all happiness drop on their head instead on mine? We see, y ppl can have all luxury in life, but mine sucks? We see, y some ppl are just talented, plus, they have the prettiest faces than ours? WHY???

There is a saying by my auntie:"don complain bout the ugly shoe u have, wait till u see ppl without leg" (erm...something like that...I forgot wat she said d :p pai sei)

My qoutation of the day: When humans meet other humans, they will see wat is good in them~ when humans see themselves in the mirror, they only see all those negative self. So~ wat do u do? buy a new mirror!!! Then, start off with the new mirror by seeing all the good sides of urself ^.^

I know~ its very hard to do that~
but~ life is all about a process and a journey of learning that never ends ^.^ peace V

p/s: 本故事纯属虚构， 如有类同，敬请多多包含^.^

Imagine

Imagine~
In a cool night, at 27-29 degrees celcius~ with breeze carrying aroma of leaves, trees and flowers~

Imagine yourself having a stroll in a garden, filled with greens of nature~

Imagine, walking in the garden, outlook the beautiful building with lights in the night~

Just.....imagine having a walk in such a beautiful night in the garden^.^
wat a waste, that I can't go out so late at night on my own~ enjoy the beauty of nature~

y is it that night everything become beautiful~ that air became fresh, and a simple thing as a walk in the garden became something so great? coz~ its so hot in the day, that everything under the heat of sun become ugly. :p

Maybe nobody understands my imagination well enough~ coz~ i know, my english sucks...but in summary~ it will be sooooo nice to have all those things, garden, lightings, and a small walk ^.^

Who's fault?

Here's a very abstract post^.^

These days, or I should say, months, I was very fed up with news, and happenings around~ anything and everything doesn't really bothers me, and it doesn't really concerns me, even though I stay in this particular place at this particular time, wat happens in this area doesn't really involves me~ as long as I can get my things done, and do wat I need to do on time, on place.

Many might be on the same boat with me, blur about wat happened UNTIL, there is these ppl, "protecting our safety" and in the name of "security" come into action, then~ I come to know wat happens, and I am quite heart broken, or should say~ lost heart in "everything" and "everyone" which involves in that "P" thingy.

Y want to make things look complicated and serious, also~ to make everyone's life miserable?
I still remember, after wat happened in March 8, I came back to KL, taking a taxi driven by a Malay~ I asked him: Encik, ada kecoh kat sini tak? He replied: buat apa kecoh? kata betul~ kalau buat kecoh, bukan kamu orang susah, semua pun susah.

Well~ as ppl, we won't do things that break our advantage. So~ who are the ones that "protect benefits of the ppl"? Its we, as the citizen and the ppl~ y? and wat is the use of the "G" thingy's existance? Well, everyone have a part to play....

Seriously, did the "A" thingy made a fuss? or the "tut" "tut" the "tut"?

p/s: I am still young and pretty *vomit*, so~ there are a lot of censorship here :p

Organisation

There is a sharing of story in lecture today, quite interesting:

A 10-year-old boy ask his dad 1 day: "wat is politics?"
His dad replied:
"I am capitalist, as I brought money home"
"Mom is the government, as she controls the finance and things at home"
"grandpa looks over things, and he is the union"
"the maid is the working group"
"we look after u, hope to give all the best to u, hence, u are the people"
"ur little brother is the future"
The dad then ask the boy if he understands it, the boy says he will think about it over the night.

In the middle of the night, the little brother produces something on his nappy and cried, the boy doesn't know wat to do, so, he went to his parent's room, and found that his dad is not in the room, and his mom was so deep in sleep that his presence was not noticed.
He then decided to look for the maid, and he found his dad in the maid's room, enjoying himself, having fun with the maid. And his grandpa was peeping through the window, and didn't do anything. So, he went back to his room, cannot get the problem solved.

The next day, the dad ask the boy if he now understand wat is politics?
The boy answers: YES!
"The capitalist abuses the working group"
"The government was sleeping"
"The union was only looking, but did nothing"
"The people is ignored"
"and the future is in the shit"

The moral of the story?
My version is~ wat we have to do is to fulfill our own responsibility, at where we stand, and no other things actually bothers or is in our concern^.^
Make ur version of moral out of it^.^

*无聊* 篇

咖啡，星星与考试的共同点？

提示：一个字^.^

p/s: 我有够无聊的.... :p

Time Machine

There are 3 days in our life: yesterday, today and tomorrow~
It is said that yesterday is the past, tomorrow is future, and today is a gift, that's y it is called "present". But is some's eyes: yesterday is a lesson, today is how we apply we learned, and tomorrow is wat we are striving for.
To me, there is only 1 day in my life: u cannot change yesterday and u cannot predict if tomorrow still exist, so~ there left only Today! well, in some sense, there are still 3 days, but the other 2 are only virtually exist.

p/s: sorry~ once u gave me idea to write something, or to talk on a topic, I can't stop half way, even u tried to stop me~ so....here goes all thoughts in my brain~ sorry, "u know who"^.^

Here goes:
Things are like that, past are very hard to be forgotten just like that, because it already happen, and it is part of our history, and is imprinted in the book of our life. So, the main point is, wat have u learn? or just just use ur ego and "blindness" to cover it up, and pretended it never happened b4?
I pretended b4~ and its just even harder to make things work for life and stress just pour in like fountain. So, wat I did is to open up, become invisible, till even ppl that just know me for few weeks can tell that, my past still haunt me~ So wat? life still goes on, earth still turns and circulate around the sun. To go back to the past is impossible~ wat we have is yet to come.

As I always say, life is a miracle~
Well, and that now, my life is full of fun^.^ Every experience counts~ even a small insect has something to tell us, e.g. one day, as I was having a meal with my fren, there is this fly beside my plate~ i observe it a while, then I told my fren: wow~ the fly is cute, it just brushed its head like doing a dance, and my fren goes "swt" =.='''~

And to "ur" experience~
Luckily u are ok~ it really shocked me when u told me that......well~ sorry that I am not that kind that knows how to express how I feels, my sympathy, or my concern quite well~ that's not my thingy. But I am really glad that everything is OK~

As said, everything happens for some reasons^.^and from 1 situation that happens on 1 person, it actually taught that person a lesson, and for the listener, I also learn something from there^.^

Regards~ and best wishes for all my frens out there^.^

No brain

Please~ be considerate~ or even have common sense on things.
Don't act or do something to other ppl that u don wan ppl to do the same to u!
If u wan to act no brain~ see who is more no brain~ me, or u?
If u do something that make me wake up at the wrong side of the bed, i will make ur sleep be as miserable as possible! After all~ I always sleep less than u~

Time to revenge!!! don make me reach my limit of patience!!
Wahahahaha!!!!

Sleepless nights~

I've been having 2 consecutive nights without deep sleep, with all sorts of nonsense dreams~ erm~ and y am I still awake after that 2 nights? coz, I have had 3 cups of tea today, and the caffeine is driving me crazy.
I have had tremors, feels hot the whole day, and my neurons are non-stop firing!!

Some thoughts have been running in my brain lately~
I kept saying ppl don't have a specific stand point, and they don't know wat they are doing or wat they want~ However, I am sort of that type myself also :p I'm so Sorry ^.^
Y? because I love doing a lot of things, and everything interest me....from astrology to mechanics to medicine to finance~ and I kept changing minds on wat I will pursue in my future~ and the choices seems to be infinite....
Well~ I know I dream a lot~ seeing things in its most perfect way...but in actual fact, I am just nothing, not standing on both extremes, not the best, nor the worse. Erm....seems good rite? standing in btw? NO!! coz I am going no where and I am not good in doing things of the both extremes, and my stands and thoughts keep on changing, going no where in the end.

In my eyes, I see other ppl's potential~ I admire them, and I wanted to learn things they are good at from them, but sometimes, I became jealous of their talent and suddenly felt deppressed. Its like~ y are ppl "gived" talents and I am like, good in nothing~

Hehe~ I know y~ Coz I am Miss "so so" (差不多小姐）^.^

Ok~ enough of nonsense~ back to work^.^
Nite Nite!!

考试

很讨厌考试~但，有谁人会不讨厌？

我讨厌它的原因在于：我喜欢读书，但，我看的书，就是看了就算，学到东西，高兴就好~ 但是，就因为有考试的存在，所以，就要在准备的当儿，抱着那几张烂纸，翻了又翻，看了又看，读了又读，背了又背。。。只有一个字可以形容整个过程： 闷！

学海无涯~ 但，活在这世上，要生存下去，能融入社会，就是那一张又一张的纸~ *无奈* 要做一个普通的人，就要跟着社会的规则走。
所以啊~ 要做自己喜欢的，就要付出 + 牺牲！ 把一半的时间给社会的规则，在一半给自己~ 往往，我们都把那剩下的一半都睡去了~~可悲~

累~ 有时，真被那规则给打败了。 我们就是一直一直的付出，牺牲~ 但，时间久了，我们静下来， 分析了一下~ 我们做了这些，值得吗？我们搞得自己那么的累，值得吗？

很累~~但是，这一个星期的无聊与懒惰也该够了~
继续~ GO!

My Birthday^.^

I was a bit disappointed when I 1st woke up in the morning because I have only 2 sms in my inbox....I was disappointed not to any1, but to myself~ coz, this is a sign that I only have 2 best frens that actually remembered my birthday~
Now that I know that feeling, I will try my best to remember my frens birthday, tag the dates on my hp, and get them to see my birthday wishes 1st thing in the morning^.^

But, after I got up from my bed, grandma called, and that's the thing that makes me feel better, knowing that somebody actually cares for u~ and u are surrounded by warmth in the air~ And then....wishes by wishes came in 1 by 1....which makes my day^.^ THANKS A LOT GUYS~ super appreciate that~ though I might missed u guys birthday, coz I even have to tag my own birthday on my hp to remind me~ so....forgive me, please~~

What did I do for the whole day?
erm~ treat myself by not using much of my brain analyzing capacity^.^ Its quite something...after all that mess going in my brain for the past half a year.

My birthday wish (asked by a fren of mine):
1. a new hand phone - with 3G and wifi
2. a bf ?? (as suggested, but not desperate bout that :p)
3. get a masters in some place I wanted to go
4. get a temporary job while waiting to get a masters
5. a good result~
6. More time...so that I can do something I love
7. Be with my family, blowing candles on top of the cake
8 Good health
9. just enough money for me to spend :p
Finally~ world peace :p
p/s: see...I am not so materialistic after all....^.^

Empire

I have this feeling of my "empire" in KL is building up, and if I go back to Penang, its kind of~ i will become lonely and feel empty. Maybe~ its just becoz now, I have frens all over me, and the number of relatives in KL suddenly grow~

Of coz, I still love Penang~ its my home and my super cute family is there, but then, if I am now in Penang, I really can't think of things that I will be doing~ I will be lying around, lepak"ing" and do all nuisance.
Well, I know~ I've changed a lot~ last time, not to be in Penang is super uncomfortable, and I will miss my bed at home from time to time~ Maybe, I am so used to life here that I can't imagine how, and where to go in Penang.

Don be mad at me~
coz, its something good that I am not independent and I can live on my own instead of hanging on my parent's neck.

Well.....we'll see how things go along~
I suddenly things and feels, being alone, going anywhere I want, meeting frens and family some where, some time~ this is more free...
We'll just have to see how time change me again^.^

To compare

Read my previous blog posted minutes ago? nvm~ I just edited it~ I shouldn't use that example. Donno wat I am talking about, just ignore everything u see in this paragraph :p

Ok~ we love to compare things around us~ me and u, u and them, this and that~ everything exist are compared, and if one compares, there will be better and not as good. Y don't we just stop comparing and appreciate the beauty of the uniqueness of creation of god? Even fingers have different length~ so wat do u expect? to cut every fingers and live only the middle fingers on both hands?

The thing here is~ everyone, everything is incomparable. Its just one knows or sees the unique and the essence of that particular thing~ if u just can't see that, can't appreciate that, fine, just say in ur opinion, and in ur point of view, its just not ur thingy, and not to "kill"/ end the road of that particular thingy and say, its not good.

Things are just incomparable~ so~ stop comparing and start living with love and heart of appreciation for beauty around us^.^

Thoughts, work done, plus a SURPRISE^.^

Today is The Day^.^

Have 3 huge, books read in 4 hours, but ended up getting only one A4 paper of info =.=’’’

And then, my dad gave me a surprise, by calling me suddenly and ask me to meet him in KL sentral b4 he depart back to Penang~ he then show up with 2 cute little cake for my birthday in advance^.^ so nice~ my dad seldom remembers birthdays or any dates~ he don want to tell me if its mom that reminded him, or its he himself remember that~ but since he don want to answer, and according to interpretation of the expression on his face, he remember my birthday himself and that’s how we show we care in our family^,^ Thanks Pipi^.^

Ok~ the thought part~ I told my dad, that even I have loads of work to be done, and my time is very packed and limited, if any1 calls me and say if we can just meet somewhere to catch up with each other, I will surely say I am good with that. My dad says that its ok if I just say no, and continue with my work, but then, in my thoughts, it’s just an kind of showing of appreciation of ppl around u, frens or family to appreciate ur existence, and it just…..donno how to phrase that~ the thing is~ after all, its quite hard for 2 ppl to meet up and to chit-chat a bit, catching up with each others after all we went through~ its not like in primary or in secondary, that the circle of frens will meet like 2 thousand times per year~ its kind of hard to get together~ I would say~ so~ its just a small sacrifices of a bit of my not so precious time, and appreciate existence of family and frens around me^.^

a scene~
There is this car stopping beside the road, with the driver on the driver’s seat~ AND~ the interesting part is, the driver is happily sitting on his seat, relaxing, with both his feet sticking out of the window, to the side mirror~ ^,^ *lame* :p

Feels like I have done a lot for a day, but~ it seems, I did nothing for the whole day at all~ WHY!! why does time flies??

Members day

Feeling that u are left out, and u are nobody on earth? Thinking bout u, having no position on earth? Feel that u have nothing to contribute to the society, and that u are not any member of any society or so?
Not anymore ^.^

We are members everywhere we go~ For example, my bro is kind of active, he's now part of the Toastmasters and my dad is member, chairman and watever I don't want to know :p
And for me??
hehe......Jusco, Tesco, Sushi King, Mobil, BHP, Redbox, McD, Body Glove, and still counting....BLEK!!

So lame~ just think that this is kind of funny ^.^

Anxiety attack

Anxiety attacked me in the middle of the night~and after studying and knowing a lot bout brain function, CNS and neurotransmitters, I decided to just get up from bed and make good use of the "sleepless hours" rather than making myself feel even more tired in the morning.

Maybe I am too excited bout the sequencing I've sent out yesterday afternoon~ the image of the process of sequencing/purification procedures are all over me....the scene is like~ have to spin this 13,000rpm, 1 min; then the scene jumps into~ omg, i cut the gel too thick a piece, cannot get all buffer into the tubes, how, wat to do; then the scene jumps to~ please, let me have bands, if not I will have to do it again~ etc....etc....and the scenes keep on replay.

Went movie last night, title: WANTED~
Remember there's this scene in the movie, where the main character googled his name, and the result is "no match found". Hehe....then I googled mine minutes ago, my name apeared....as sis of my big bro:D happy happy.....though my name only appeared in one of the pages, in future, my name will be on publications, on journals, papers, and whole web...Hahahaha~~ *dreaming*
The movie was great! it makes ppl ask themselves questions and kind of sit back and think of who they are, where they stand, fate, god.....

Well....that's me analyzing movies~ coz my dad trained my brain since I was a kid...i think maybe I was still in kindy that time, to think and analyse, see a bigger picture, coz he always ask: "wat is the moral of the story" after a drama or a movie. ^.^

Ok~ enough with crap~ continue with my work^.^

My one kind

Today, one of my best fren told me that another fren of mine said something bout me to him. He was told that I am that kind that won’t share anything or give u any info, or its without any hope to get any information from me.

Well, true~ I am that kind that I don’t say things straight forward. If u can get the message sent, then, fine, if u cannot get the message, u won’t lose a piece of ur flesh also. Its all based upon ur imagination, ur interpretations and how u put an effort on the things/info u want to get from me.

If u know me for quite some time, after u get to know me well enough, u will know my style and way of telling things, or sending message across. If the info u want to get is not very important, and I start to go zig-zag along the way, u can ignore me, or just “shoo” me or “cheh” me, I am fine with it. If the info u want to get is something that benefits u, I won’t let u get it hand to hand, u will have to work a bit on ur own, put some effort and energy to get the full picture. If the piece of info is something I doesn’t bothers if the whole world knows about it, I am super grateful to tell u the whole story from beginning to the end.

Its kind of how I love breaking message into pieces, and let others guess the meaning or the message~ Its just….well, nobody actually gets hurt thru the process. By the way, there is no one answer to every questions to the world, unless ur question is like: “wat is ur name”. Even there is once, that one of my super best fren was joking with me, saying if she can make me belanja her on the movie we just watched~ U know wat my answer was?? Hehe~~ my answer to her was: I don really cares~ coz everything happens in this world have a reason behind them
Erm~ wat is the connection? There is ^.^

Well, u just have to bear with me~ I am that “anything” or “whatever” kind of person that is ok with almost everything. One of the most important thing I cannot tahan for “tut” sake is: don’t ever smile to me, and then cucuk me on my back!! If u r saying something that is so true, I am ok with it. If u r telling some1 that u already know that msg will be sent to me in a matter of time, I am also ok with it~ as long as, u don pretend and be a nuisance for “tut” sake.

Growing up

Everyday, we grew up a little physically, doesn't bother u want it or not, it happens~ but talking about growing up mentally, there is no where that it suppose to stop, that one day, u don't have to learn any new things in life, and that u can living just by hugging ur past, and the tradition, or routine~ well, I mean~ some can really live life with those thoughts, but then, that's really not to live life.

We, in the age that those old ppl say "young", or "just a kid", part of our responsibility is to learn, and to grow up mentally. However, those "old ppl", our parents, or grandparents, they too have to grow up, and keep up with time. Because, one just can't live life by always say: "u know~ last time ar~ I use to......" watever, it's the past already, I know one can learn and gain experience from the past, but, life is just more than those things u gain, or the things or memories u most proud of in the past~ they are just a part of ur memory.

The 1st thing for parents and grandparents or even close relatives to "grow up" in is, to let go of those responsibilities u held in the past, or even in present~ erm...i don't mean immediately, but to release bit by bit. For example, for "kids" like us, those beginning of 20+, we are suppose to learn how to be responsible of ourselves already. Its like~ we know that u guys are freaking worried bout us, ur children, but pure worries do no help~ Statistics and analysis, plus thinking without emotions interfering, is more important in getting solutions, or let things go.

For example, I told my cousin that suppose to come to KL to study starting next week~ so, it's like, I am some1 that she suppose to rely on in KL, coz she've nv been away from home~ so~ I was thinking that I might give her some moral support, and calm her feelings a bit by making an effort to go see her next week~ but her mom was like:"ask her not to go see u la~if not, if anything happens to her, who will be responsible?" Well~ auntie, if I think that I can go, means I analysed every situation d, and of coz, I will be careful and take good care of myself~ I will be the one responsible to myself~ if not, after so long staying alone and doing all those things in KL, u think some1 is suppose to track me down and put pause button on me? NO WAY~I will always find solution for any problem that come into place.
Like I told my cousin sis, our parents are not young already, they are like 50+ or even 60+ d~ so, from the numbers, they are suppose to start enjoying their life d. Its our time to be concerned bout them, not the other way round.

Another thing, like I said in my previous blog, every1 is growing up. Even my parents are growing up together with me and my bro. I teach my mom how to use MSN, and now, she's like can't live without MSN working :p And my dad, he's picking up modern thinking quite fast, like to save the environment, not to buy newpapers, and to read them online~well~ he's still "1900" in some sense, but~it have its advantage in having some traditional ppl around, just to pull the hand break in between, just in case we go overboard~

Life's like that~ if u doesn't want to learn from the start and all the way thru the end of ur life, and think that u are "know everything" person, u will just be always living in the past for the rest of ur life~ and make other ppl's life suffer, I mean~ ur kids~

p/s: do u ever really get to know how ur kids feel bout wat ur opinions are? or do u ever concerned bout how ur parents feel bout ur opinion? do u ever make 2 way communication, find the real problem and find the solution to them?

I feel very lucky that I am born in a family with parents that have an open mind^.^

women vs. clothes

Women or I should say~ females, are super conflict by herself. When shopping, she will be looking around, picking clothes~ when a clothes struck her eyes, she try it on, and then consider, then walk off by thinking that the clothes will still be in the shop~ However, when seeing others wearing the same clothes on the street, and she looks gorgeous in it, she feels slapping her face and broke down screaming: why~~why~~why I didn't buy that clothes that day!!!

Well, a bit exaggerate, but that's the feeling females have~ Its just the degree to which u can keep it undetected in ur heart, or u scream it out and release urself from the emo thingy.

Ok, I am now in the situation of window shopping and walking on the road, then scream in my heart for not buying that clothes....after that, I will be finding all excuses for myself, like~that clothes might not fit me, or its too expensive, or I just don't need it at all~

Watever, females~ creating emo for herself, having drama of her own, conflict within herself. Such an idiotic thing to do~ wat to do?? we'll just have to wait and see =.='''

缘分

该来的还是会来~该是你的跑不掉~缘分这东西真是太太太太太太。。。。太惊人了！！！

两个完全不同世界的人，兜了个大圈，错过了彼此的存在，到后来，当缘分到了，竟然会看上对方~~两只老虎真奇怪，两只恋人真奇怪~~

对啦~羡慕你们啦~ 对啦，对啦，你啦~ 就是你们啦~~

缘分啊~快点绛临在我身上吧~~

还是祝福你们~你们那些幸福到不行，甜蜜到惹蚂蚁的你们~ 加油! 希望你们会白头到老^.^

Proud of my MOM!!

Yesterday, heard my dad say that mom actually wake up at 5.30am in the morning these days just to do exercise together with my dad~ such a touching thing to get to know that~

She actually sacrifices her sleeping time to actually make an effort to make her life style better~ I mean~ in a way~ its almost the time in her life that she have to actually make some effort to boast her health, since her everyday life is with her work in her office, then with tv at home~ and weekends will be sitting at home or do some simple household task~ and they super not enough to get her body some workouts.

Another thing that I am proud of her is~ she knows how to prepare herself to move into another stage of her life~ for example, she was super internet and computer dumb dumb in the past, even end of last year, she was still dumb dumb with internet stuff~ but now....walao~ her comfort with internet and her patience with the net is even greater than me, e.g., I was looking for a name of a fish on the net, and after 2 hours, I gave up with the stupid thing, but she was working on the fish thing until even I slept already, she was still searching that for me~ in the end, she found the name of the fish for me using search engine the whole nite *SALUTE* to my special mom.
Her effort in learning and taking things up at this age of her is super make me proud of her~ Some ppl at younger than her don't even want to learn how to use a handphone, and say that technology stuff is not for the "old" ppl like them~ they don even have the initiative to learn and live their life to the max.

How touching~~moved by the effort, initiative and the energy of both my parent, especially my mom who changed a lot this few years for herself and for us, the family~
Happy Fathers Day!!! --> To make dad happy, is to give the praise to mom~ To make mom happy, is to give the praise to dad~ To make both me and my big bro happy is to have both our parents happy^.^We are so attached to the family^.^

Peace!! The cutest family on earth^.^

啊！！！~~~

哎~终于~最后一个学期了....但, 朋友都已开始各自做各自的事, 在一起上课的时间, 在一起吃东西, 一起哈拉的时间也少了~ 还真有点怀念那个又忙, 又乱, 不知所措, 忙得连睡觉的时间很少, 而且, 睡觉 刷牙 洗脸 冲凉 吃饭 的时间脑子里面的都是procedure, protocol, error, improvement.....但, 就是还蛮快乐的~

也对啦~ 都已最后一个学期了, 大家都快累坏了, 大家的脑子里有的, 不只是有得偷懒就偷懒, 有得休息就休息~ 还有~在悠闲的当儿, 烦恼着那个在眼前不远处的那交叉路口~

又是喜~ 又是忧~

嗯~ 其实我在"啊" 啥呢?
就是....就是..... 我要是再不跟人说话, 哈拉~我就快要疯了!!!!!
p/s: 看谁会是那个给我抓到的倒霉鬼~ 你耳朵一定会给我的一连串废话弄烂!!!哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!

Racist

I really cannot understand y most ppl want to draw a line between u and me, between Malays and Chinese, between, Malays and Indians, between Chinese and Indians, between Malaysians and Non-Malaysians, between rich and poor, between.....

There is no difference between every humans living in this world actually~We are all the same!
In Buddha's teachings, Buddha say that everything in this world are just illusions(色既是空)~ even humans, are illusions.
In the concept of science, in physics, all things in the universe is an illusion~ we are nothing except electron, protons and neutrons, and we seem to exist just because energy level.

Why do one want to differentiate u and me??
I hate hearing ppl say things like: "That M*l** pig", or I hate to hear ppl say that they don like to mix around with ppl that have different culture with them.
Its kind of like....wat have they done wrong? they are the same with us, living on this world as humans.

Why care is ppl gets better status and get better rewards than us? Just live life as u like~ it doesn't really concerns u~ or maybe it can be a motivation for u to strive in ur life, but wat they get just doesn't really bothers u~ becoz, when u haven't get something, u live life like tomolo is another day to work and to live for~ and if u got better status or reward, u still have to live life the same way, rite?

Its all illusion~ one don't have to differentiate u and me~ one don have to be super "cannot stand" and being jealous on wat ppl get and we didn't~
Wat goes around, comes around~

Have a heart and a mind that is circle~ If u are living in a square, ur life will always be meeting with walls and corners.

I don't care

I am neutral about anything not concerning me~ its "watever" in wat u tell me about u and wat makes u feel down~ I don't care!
OK~ this only applies to those ppl that always say things that are negative and I am really bored with them and their super emo, trying to get attention of ppl around them...watever~

It sometimes really get me into frustration about what they expect me to say/reply them.

As I said to my mom, its ur own life, there is nothing that u have to ask ppl's opinion bout wat u have to choose~ u might need to ask ppl's opinion bout the advantages and disadvantages on the options, but to choose, there is no 1 that can help u. (p/s: I didn't mean i don't care bout mom/ ppl in my family here~ its just an example/quotation)

Don't ever ask me stupid questions or tell me negative things that might make me feel bad/frustrated/get emo~ don ever~ever ask again!!

In the name of Science

On Tuesday, I attend my 1st virology class~ my fren attended the 1st week's introductory lab, so, he told me that I will love this week 2 virology lab a lot, but I was not convinced, becoz all I have in mind about virology lab is how to culture viruses and the ways to do vaccines and stuff~ However~ to my amazement and excitement, the lab is about cutting chicken embryo out of the egg~

Well~ its not that I am cruel or don't have sympathy on those little creature, and one of my coursemate even say that the chicken will feel pain when we cut its head off on the 1st cut, then the legs and the wings, but, its science, and the world of science to me is to see things with my own eyes things in this world and how great mother nature's creation is.

I never knew that the chicken embryo have the exact appearance of the adult chicken~ the wings are tiny, the limbs and the butt, all resembles the adult size of it~ u really cannot imagine the whole resemblance of a chicken exactly in a small egg~ I can't imagine that also when the lecturer do the demo, until I have my hands on the embryo myself~

Ok~the main point of getting the embryo into pieces is not for me to say "wow", but its all about learning cell culture preparation and observe the cells and stuff....I still can't get the main idea and full picture of the main objective yet :p

Poor little thing~ sacrifices for the sake of my knowledge and in the name of science~
"May u reborn and become the child of the rich!"

Money

These days, I know I spent a lot~and all that I spent is not my money that I earn with my own hands =.=''' regret.....but I have "bad" eyes, want all the things I don't really need, but I crave for them =.=''' So, here's where control, thought and analysis bout money come into play.

Money is very important~ This, I totally agree...It is a need to live happily ever after~ but, there's an extend/limit for urself, where it states where u, urself thinks it's the point of contentment for urself.

Balance is the word~ Control is another~

Aging

When we were once a baby, we don't know how to control ourselves, getting ourselves wet/smelling, when we are hungry, we only know how to cry~but our parents, mom, dad, grandma,or the ppl we were sent to for care, will nv have any complains to take good care of us and meet every of our needs~

When we were kids, we are learning to build up our brain~ hence, we always do things that are wrong, getting parents and elderly ppl angry on everything we do, but we don't know how to analyse wat we done wrong, so, we get mad at them, making them even dissapointed and feel that their care for us and all they have done for us are just nonsense and are not appreciated. However, they still, after a while, forgive us and our doings, and continue to give the best for us~

On the other hand, when our parents get old, we have all the things to be done, giving all excuses not to take care of our parents, complain even to the slightest thing they ask us to do~
How can we??

That's how our society taught us.....or our parents did not teach us how to pay them back?? Cause, they always gave the best to us, and did not say that they want any repay???

Well~ we just have to learn things our way....and tell our parents how we wan things to be/how we wan them to be....I mean~ to teach them how to be healthy or to take better care of themselves from our knowledge...BUT, it is a 2 way communication, means, our parents too have to learn how to accept new knowledge and thought^.^

Family gathering

Wat an interesting day~
Went for "window" shopping in 1U today with my aunties and cousin, help my cousin to move her things into her new apartment (which I don't really know if I did much that helps =.=''') and then have dinner with a dish I never ate b4 called 擂茶（Lei Cha), its a Hakka dish, which consist of herbs, rice and herbal tea~ kind of like nasi ulam, but a Chinese version of it.

Erm.....got a lot of things that I thought of, considering things that I've learn and saw today, but my mind goes blank for now....donno y =.='''

Oh ya~ got a ride in a BMW today~ the house owner of my cousins' is kind of super rich, have houses here and there, and the bed and the wardrobe is totally brand new, even the fridge is the latest model of Panasonic, Plus~ the fan is with remote control, the lightings looks like from Ikea, even the rug is from Ikea(but terpaksa shred into threads becoz it stupidly stuck between the main door and the whole door is jam~a shock of the century!!*.* Long story =.='''). The lesson learned:
1, The owner of the house, even he's rich, he do things in the calculated way~ I mean, its like, if the thing is simple, as in changing the door knob, he'll do it himself. He's like doesn't seem to be very proud, nose pointing to the air, but a very friendly, very easy going, down to earth kind of person....my salutation to u, Mr. Azmawi(if I didn't get u wrong :p)~ SALUTE!!
2, I know how the door knob works d~ I actually unscrew the whole thing, and I know how the knob works mechanically when u pressed on the "watever u call it" =.='''
3, Prove my stand, everything that happen have its cause/reason. E.g.: when my cousin says: Luckily I packed that box with the scissors and screw driver last, that I remember which box I put them in...and they are put into use, or I should say, put into "action" ^.^
Addtional point: Every problem have its solution, either 1 or many, its only depends on how calm and fast ur brain is when something happens.

Erm....nothing to lose, lots to gain in a day doing "kaypo" things, and "lao juak" with family members in KL~

P/s: For photos and caption, click on the link to "my photo album"~

Things that happen

Things don just happen like that~ I believe that every singly thing that happen have their reason and statement behind it. No matter things that happen with its good or bad according to wat u have in mind, there’s just something for u to learn from, and that’s one of the reason I happen.

Change is very important. Among all changes, change in mindset is the most important. To change how u see things that happen, not only on ur own point of view, but to stand out of ur thought circle and look at the bigger picture, think from every aspect, from every ppl point of view~

Evaluate urself, think and assess things in a circular way~ don always frown on things that happen, being emo or moody won’t change things that might happen again/in routine basis, to change the way u do things and how u think on the particular subject is the only thing u can uphold and control with ur own hands.

There are only 3 days in our life. Yesterday is a lesson, Today is wat u have in ur hands and take control, Tomorrow is the result of wat u have done today.

Luxury

Luxury to a lot of ppl is equivalent to Mercedes, BMW, Bungalow/mansion, gold, diamond and sort of stuff~

Luxury to me, its all about having simple things I wan, do things I want to do and be free to be myself whenever I want.
Having simple things I wan is like....a hotplate for me because I love to cook things I want to eat; To do things I want to do, is like....going for biomedical science, even my mom say that biotech is better off, or that a lot of ppl say that biomedic have no future and cannot earn money; To be free to be myself, is like....going shopping in shorts and slippers when I wanted to and dress up like going to a ball whenever I have to mood to do so (which is to be fluctuating from extreme to extreme as how I want to be :p).

Time, is another luxury a lot of ppl always dream to have, but as I have in mind, time is a factor that ppl made up for what they love doing more, e.g. going to a movie, rather than to visit his/her parents in old folks home on weekends. Or, to sit in front of the tv rather than to do something more productive (this is wat I always been doing, being pulled by the devil =.=''').

Things are simple~ luxury is also simple~ BUT, to have all these~ the main factor that contribute to all those simple things is MONEY. However, this "money" thing is widely depends on how much will satisfy all ur needs~ I know, all humans have greed in their mind, but, if u think simple, think back to the most basic and ur 1st intention of doing and getting all those u intend to get, u are already satisfied with wat u have now.....erm...how should I put it~~Its like...just make urself in ur comfort zone, not to care about how whoever see u or think about u...erm...something like that....

wants

Suddenly, it seems that I know and found wat I wan already~ I mean~ I got my own target of life already~ but then~ it also is like...when ppl ask me how my future will be like, or wat I want to be in future, I will be lost in words.
Y? donno lor~ maybe, wat I wan is too general and have too many roads to choose from~ I mean, I am that kind that holds the thoughts of:“既来之，则安之”。^.^

The point here is this~ we are suppose to accept wat comes to us and bring them to their best. So, we have to be prepared for everything that might come to us~
That, is wat I believe in~ which is "destiny", BUT, at the same time, we have to behold our own future~ quite contradicting rite? that's how life is like, always "fighting" with ourselves, or maybe its only me:p

Another thing~ I am now still very:今朝有酒，今朝醉~ I wonder~ how long does this kind of thoughts can stay with me?? I hope its forever, coz~ it just makes me feel good and comfortable with life:D

电脑/电子人

啥米？对！就是我国特产~~锵锵~~电子人！！

所谓的电脑/电子，就是没有感情，没有个自独特的思考能力，没有怨言，没有频率，只有那一字不减照着课本书本的那一字一句规划的栏图生活，做事。。。

我觉得成长，培养，生活，教育都在我的国家，我最应引以为傲的马来西亚（但不知道骄傲些什么）~总觉得，我，包括娜和我一样的“新一代”人民，子弟，都像是从工厂用同一个印做出来的“行动”电脑~
我觉得，这情况的发生，原因有几个：

1，教育制度- 我们从小培养出来的思想就是要考第一，考到第一就是好学生，世界就像在你脚下。 那些课外的，就好比打羽毛球，打乒乓，唱歌，弹琴，画画。。。都是属于多学的，要放弃也无妨，就当作消遣，娱乐，简称“玩”。考试，在我们这制度，算很简单，因为都有范围，有一定的政策，只读某指定课本，或只猛K教课讲义，包你不会“肥佬”，简称“死读书”，因为不用分析，不用了解，不用深入，就只靠记得，就OK~
2，家庭教育-父母都把课业看得很重，就比如：如果小孩靠得很差，或不到理想，就打，就骂~嗯，请问你又问过你的孩子为什么吗？在比例：我有一个小表妹，她才一年级，但就算他的一个笔画写歪了一点，她的母亲就用橡皮擦擦掉整页要她重写~嗯，何苦？？
3，社会- 在我们这国，我们对事情的看法往往是大众口味的才是对的，好的；那些独特的，较另类的，是令人斜眼，令人吐，令人看不起，令人排斥的~ 为何~为何我们不能用那同样的对待，用那另类的眼光，去欣赏那些独特的一群？
4，政策-我们的国家很独特，嗯~可能很多国家也有吧~不是很清楚:p 因为，我们有独特的法令~而我们这些良好的市民，为保护自己，省掉麻烦~也因为爱国，不要让我们各民族的和睦受威胁，所以，我们学会沉默，习惯沉默，不说，不发表，不表达。。。渐渐的，我们成了没感情，直接接受，不反抗，没怨言~ 我每尊敬每一个人，尊敬到自卑的程度，尊敬到你说一我就说好，从没有二话，只有“背后”话=.='''

嗯~其实，这样的电子人的形成，每个人，甚至我自己，也有责任~
我们需要的是改变~但~很恐惧的是，如果只有我改变，其他人还是一样，那~我就成了那被异样眼光包围的那个~

哎！！就这样~
所以啊~我觉得，是时候出去闯，去和其他国家的人切磋，认识他人，认识自己~自我提升！！加油！！

Sex border

Its strange that I, as a "normal" person, having a normal point of view about sex (as in males and females), erm...a quite conservative one, which can accept "modernised" thoughts and view points in the very extreme~

I always have the idea that y the world and those ppl out there can't just brush off the borders of sex, that they just accept each other and put both sex on the equal level~

Today, as I went into a world that is without sex borders, where males and females are on equal baseline, there is no such "conservative" thoughts, that males and females are just be put together, known as "humans" in overall and nothing else as sex other than "humans".

Its cool actually~ bringing myself into the balanced world, exposed myself to different kind of world which actually made me think that "normal" ppl are so damn stupid, holding onto the "conservative" thoughts, can't even bring their heart out under the sun.

Well~ everything have its start off point~ u just have to change how u see this world~
As I always say~ y do ppl have to actually draw all lines btw me and u? mine and urs? Its a world without borders that the era of internet comes into play^.^

第一次

第一次~往往都会烙印在心理的最深处，虽然不怎么特别区记得它，但是，要忘也忘不掉~

还记得，
那第一次踏进幼稚园的门口，是我父母（忘记是哪个）带我去参观学校，跟我们讲解学校课程的是我的班由主任~
第一次在幼稚园交朋友，是个印度男生，Jaya~
第一次学会写S，实用化钠是最流行的爆炸发型~ 第一次吃花粉，是在幼稚园的大门等校车时~
我小时候，走路都会小心翼翼的，未跌倒到流血， 第一次的大跌实在姑婆家外的大马路~
第一天进入小学的班, 很高兴，因为被派到和我表妹上同样的班~
第一天人是我最要好的朋友，是当我们一起巡楼时~
第一天上Form6 的情景，还像是昨天刚发生的事情~
第一天离家，要去大学上课，很舍不得父母，但还是要装作一副无所谓，我很好的样子~
第一次~~第一次~~

很多很多的第一次。。。很多很多的回忆~
可见~我虽然看起来很年轻，但，人生这条路我已经做过了1/3~

加油吧！！让我创造根多更多得第一次~

自不量力

人~难免会有自不量力的时候~ 然后，兴奋得开始了人生某个阶段的幻想，想象事情会顺顺利利的迈向成功，但~到最后，如果经不起一次次的考验与失败，放弃是唯一一条路。

然而~皇天不负有心人，经过一次次的失败，从新开始，在失败，再从来后~终于~~终于~~我可以进入另一个步骤！哈哈哈哈哈！！



嗯~希望是如此啦~因，这是另一个妄想的开始~ 加油！！

希望一切顺顺利利完成~顺顺利利进入另一关！！

Sem Break

What kind of holiday is this?
Having to go Uni everyday~plus, wake up every morning at like 6+~I rather have exam or live in exam week~ but, ok la~ no stress apply now, just have to do everything that I suppose to do for my project, running like mad in the lab whole morning, doing like 2 or 3 things at a time....

Overall, life like that is still acceptable, just that I can't just lie on the bed, read some leisure, watch drama, lepak~
At least, everyday is productive and the most important thing is: I am almost on the way to get results....wahahahaha!!!! I can see something, but donno if its pure enough or not =.='''

Keep it up la~
p/s: almost becoming drama addict~ where drama is a need....haha~~~

Genting

今天，终于有人说我为什么那么逍遥自在~他还说希望它也可以像我那样~我还是老话一句：事在人为罢了！Well~ 只是要表达，我的目标之一已在默默地实行中。。。哈哈！！

Went Genting today~ just to relax my mind a bit, get away from my room, my bed, my table and out of KL~ just to free my mind and help me forget my stress a bit before I get into another page of my stuff....

The reward~ erm~ play bout 10 rounds of street basketball machine, learn some casino stuff, reward myself with a few small little things exchanged with the points I earn, have a superb lunch with only RM1.90, shout my stress out a bit with a ride....and spend RM70 for everything including transport~ thanks to the "invisible" support from my cute dad^.^ :p

Oh ya~ went to the Genting visitor galery~erm~ get to know genting a bit from there~plus~ i wrote something on the visitor book: A very good effort in making a place, where happiness can be bought with money^.^~

Here's some pic:

Some Exhibit in the galery (curi -curi take de :p)

社交圈

发现~我的社交圈并不大。。。两三只手指就能完全掌握~
当很沉很沉的时候，能打电话哈拉，sms的并不多~可能，因为我的人很难跟他人有很深的信任，而且，我会像很多，怕打扰人家，怕对方会觉得：你又不是我的谁，你的事干我屁事啊？

为什么我的圈圈就那么小？
因为~我喜欢做的事，往往不是一个人就可以搞定，就是多一个人陪我就可以了~比如，看连续剧，看电影，无聊闲逛，看书，观察人群，吃好吃的。。。就算运动也是一人搞定的-跑步，走走。。。
更何况，我除了学校就是房间，打工简直距我于千里之外~ 逛街还有门禁，同学聚会也看性格和不合~交朋友也有规定~(我都了~这些都是为我好，担心我~所以啊~我就从以前到现在，我宁愿在家，遵守每一个条例，因为我不要多事，也不要解释。。。安全，没事，不用解释，也不用听那些有的没有的~)

嗯~其实，也无所谓啦~这么多年，也习惯了~反正温室里的小花也没什么不好当的，世界也还是那么大~
该来的总是会来，该是朋友的永远是个朋友，不然就只能说：我命犯孤星=.=''' 好像没那么严重呼~

是时候进入DIGI的世界~因为~是时候改变^.^

Its all in ur brain!

Sometimes, things just go strange around u~ how u feel, how u think, how ur heart beat goes, how ur body react with all those strange stuff~
But the question here is~ y does such things go about?
I mean~ how does those strange things in u started off, progress, and make u feel unconfortable, but relief without any clinical diagnosis/treatment?

Most of those ppl, even highly, scientifically educated, will put all the blame on ghostly, unseen and unfelt power.
For myself, I insists that such feelings, thoughts and "symptoms" are due to mental, neurological connections. Hence, an in-depth knowledge of nerves, brain, and psycology plays an important part for us, humans, to get to know urself better.

On the other hand, I believe that there is something called "qi"/"chi" or power/energy, in everything on earth. Hence, a balance of all "qi"/"chi", is important in having physical and mental healthiness (a "yin" and "yang" sort of~)

终点 vs. 起点

世事的终点，总是另一事的起始点~

世界上，没有一条路是死路~因为，地球是圆的，在死路另一边，一定会有另一个更美好的世界让我们去开发，去认识，去发掘~

人，总是会有梦想，目标~但，就算是目标达成了，或是失败了~也不能就这样没有了方向啊！因为，这时才是生命的开始，梦想的启发点！人生就像这样: 总是起起落落的~另一个高峰，不一定要比前一个高峰来得高~但~就是要有勇气去开始^.^

上帝创造世界是，牠创下来的每一点每一滴，都是美好的~就只是你，我，他，如何去看待这世界~
换个角度看世界吧~世界会因为有你而更美丽！

记得哦~上帝是疼我们的~就算他把你眼前的所有门都关了，他一定会为你留一扇窗，只是~你有没有用“心”去聆听而已^.^

p/s: 我讲到好像我进了啥教似的:p 但~事情就是这样~你，你，或你~你们到的，想到的，觉得的东东~都是你们脑子里的~ 不要自以为很了解我, 要猜我在想什么~ 哼! 窗都没有！:p

用“心”~其实，我只是很单纯，很单纯的分享而已^.^

忌妒心作怪

啊！！！每当我看到某些事，或物，或情况~我的嫉妒心就会开始做怪~让我抓狂~

或许，我的嫉妒已超过了该处于的平衡点~或许，我有点神经上脑~或许，我就是不能看人家好~好像有点变态^.^但就是这样~难怪~我就只能坐在这，然后八那些有的没的...就不能自己下场进入所嫉妒的世界。。。。

或许，我嫉妒的太多了吧~或许，我只是不甘心，不够感恩~

干嘛？作反啊？读书呗傻子！！

国界

世界，每个国家，每个团体，每个人，都有一个迈向国际，为国争光的理想，但，有没有人想过，何谓你？何谓我？和为国？何谓世界？何谓国际？

我，出生，成长，生活，都在马来西亚~所以，我的身份是马来西亚的人民。
同样的，就拿王力宏举例：他出生于美国，成长过程也在美国，但，因他的血统是台籍，所以就成了台湾之光。再举例：记得那最近成了妓女的大马神童苏菲亚？就因他母亲是大马人，他就算是大马的神童？他爸是巴基斯坦籍，为何不说它是巴基斯坦神童？（p/s:我不是因他现有的身份才硬说他不该是大马人，只是要举例为何人要拿他人的身份当是自己的。）

就这样，国界，成了一个迷糊点。国籍成了因有成就，就让人抢这是我或是他的，而那可怜的有成就的人，就成了个“无国籍”人~

国籍，只是一张纸上的证明；身份，只是一张卡上的代名；我，你，他~如果世上没有纸，没有卡，没有电脑，没有电子，没有文字，没有语言，我是谁？你，他，有事何物？

世界，国际，就是没有你，没有我，没有他~没有谁的和谁的~也没有这国，那国的~

However,如果不分你我，没有了竞争，何来进步？何来世界？何来国际？
一切变得再也没有意义~

心，要宽，要阔，要看得远，想得开，放得下！ (但又有几个真的可以做到？）
都是虚荣心作怪~
争啥？

炫耀

世界不一样了~炫耀成了一种普偏的行为，没得炫才叫做out！

我爸常说。。。不要处处炫耀你自己~可，我真的没有啊~我还会控制自己，炫该炫的，不做作，不违反我自己的良心，不制造麻烦^.^
Don't worry~我炫的，是我自豪的事~我如觉得不是该自豪的，或是觉得还不到自豪的阶段，我是不会乱来的~反正~要炫，就是跟那些看到的人宣战~我才没那么笨，明知输九条街了还要跟人家抢。

炫吧kuso的一群!!^.^

p/s: 告诉你哦~当你把大家都是你的朋友时，世界是那么的美，那么的宽阔~当你觉得你的朋友只有一个时，你就会感到孤单，无助哦~ 还好~我已成了前者^.^

Caffeine

Caffeine Content:-(From: http://coffeetea.about.com/library/blcaffeine.htm)
Double espresso (2oz) : 45-100 mg
Brewed coffee (8 oz): 60-120 mg
Instant coffee (8 oz): 70 mg
Decaf coffee (8 oz): 1-5 mg
Tea - black (8 oz): 45 mg
Tea - green (8 oz): 20 mg
Tea - white (8 oz):15 mg
Coca Cola (12 oz can): 34 mg
Pepsi (12 oz can): 38 mg
Barq's Root Beer (12 oz can): 22 mg
7-up (12 oz): 0 mg
Chocolate milk (8 oz): 4 mg
Dark chocolate (1 oz): 20 mg
Milk chocolate (1 oz): 6 mg
Ben & Jerry's Coffee Fudge Frozen Yogurt (8 oz): 85 mg

I was curious y I need longer time to clear off caffeine from my body that even I love coffee, I can't take coffee, coz it will produce a higher stimulatory response than normal ppl...even have tremor and after 12-13 hours, I still can't get into sleep well.

y?
coz~according to wiki: In healthy adults, caffeine's half-life is approximately 3–4 hours. In women taking oral contraceptives this is increased to 5–10 hours, and in pregnant women the half-life is roughly 9–11 hours.
And in my body,I think I have higher estrogen level than normal women of my age, which is equivalent to "taking contraceptives"(I mean~the estrogen level is equivalent), which equals to the caffeine half life in my body should be between 5-10 hours, hence, clearance rate is super slow in my body.

Well~ its all just a hypothesis....
can't get a better way of explaining things...(but will try to get a better explaination^.^)

Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine
Caffeine database: http://www.cspinet.org/new/cafchart.htm

战术

生活在世上，战术，是个必备的条件~ 就像是种人与人之间的一种沟通吧！

每个人心里对事的战术都不一样~所以才会有：“人群分类”。
有些人使用美人计，有的是调虎离山，有的是笑里藏刀，有的却像在战场上的军人一样是也防不是也防。。。

我的~却是直肠直肚，又哪句说哪句~再加上我的无敌厚脸皮，刚认识我的人都会觉得，好像我脑子里会有一对的学问，一托拉库不为人知的知识~到后来，那些人的眼镜都破到不堪。。嘻嘻！！ 我不是故意的啦~只是，这是我的心里战术，也方便我做人不用那么累^.^ 还有些人啊~就算曾给我的面貌给骗了，但，就还是觉得我还是那未被发掘的天才~歹势啦~我就是脸皮厚:p 就这样，拿着我的脸骗人家的称赞，但我还是挺得意的。。。哇哈哈哈哈哈！！！让我飘飘然 :p

嗯~我觉得我这样还不赖啊~起码我还是我，不用隐藏自己~不像有些人，明明就家境不赖，功课很好做啥都像从天降下来的好运。。。但还在那儿给我念~那是他的战术，要缭乱人心~朋友~要感恩！！我认识你，我知道你有几两重，不会摇动我的思绪的！！

感恩啊！！

Back in Penang

螳螂 in the garden

Lunch cooked for myself^.^(grilled salmon, sausage and egg)

Dinner in TBowl (sitting on the toilet bowl =.=''')

Having Breakfast with dad in the garden (Sausage, egg and banana)

For more pic, click on "my photo album" icon^.^

good for nothing

Aih~ another wave of emo striking....who asked me to be so kaypo with other ppl's life now and then? then now~ I am so freak out bout myself that I don have anything that I am capable of doing to its best....all I know is those things that spend money and not getting even 1 sen in return. I know how to do things most females do...but not even that I know all of them~ I don even have B**** =.=''' how sad....

All I know is to study~and then spend money buying things that satisfy my needs. I am like a frog under the well....

erm~ maybe, wat I hold onto now is just my determination on things I wan in life and the No Fear.

Hope that I will become someone rather than a good for nothing someday....*dream* *dream* *dream*

acceptance range/level

ppl tend to have lower and lower range of accepting things when one gets older day by day~ its like~ my dad can't stand those music me and my bro is listening and even those in Light FM, saying that they are very noisy, having no content in the songs, no motive in listening those songs~also, my grandaunt, who say that the My FM commercial have no motive whenever she sees it playing in Astro....

I was thinking....is it that when ppl gets older, they become in need of reasons to do every single thing, and that they have lower range of getting themselves to suit to the environment...like... old ppl like to ask me things like: y do u want to do this kind of thing if u can get the same results in the easier way. Erm~ I always don have any answer to that, its all just because that I want to try something that I never did b4 and experience in taking the other way is just not that of the easier way.

Maybe, its the fear and seeing things furthur, taking lots of things into consideration that older ppl, think that reason makes a huge part in their life, because~ erm~ maybe they have experienced more than I do, and hence, seeing things in a bigger picture.

My range of accepting things is very wide, I think~ coz to me, everything have their good and bad~ like....I love Baskin more coz of its creamy, milky flavour of it, but Haagen is great, coz of its smooth, mouth melting feeling...even New Zealand Natural have their own unique taste^.^ Another example...who say that the tap head have to be intact so that I can operate? The place I am staying in KL, the auntie donno y, its her house, but then~ its like "haunted", where nobody is staying....the tap head is spoilt, but she just don want to repair it. If its u who stays there, u won't have that kind of patience to bear with this kind of thing, telling the auntie over and over again that the tap head have to be repaired, BUT, I just change myself to accept the fact and suit myself to the situation. Maybe, this shows more of my patience, but this also show how I accept things better^.^

Well~different ppl have different ability and unique properties in them~so~ watever they do, we just have to see things in a different angle, and u will get a better picture out of it.

Accepting things seems to be easy, but aren't we complaining everyday bout minor stuff?

Widen ur range, making the world a creative one^.^

Dinner @ Rasa Sayang

Its family Birthday month~ So, the whole family, of coz, with my big bro's gf, Irene go for a grand dinner (I am the only 1 who doesn't have any income yet, so~ my job is just to eat and enjoy :p)

The dinner was superb! The food that entered my stomach are as follows: Lobster, fresh oyster, fresh mussle, fresh tuna and salmon, crab, blue cheeze, lamb satay, abolone, jelly fish, octopus, scallop, fish roe, sushi, appricot custard, chocolate dessert and of coz, some juice ^.^ (maybe I missed something, just can't remember wat I just ate :p)

Having a bloated stomach, I intend to sleep late tonight, erm~ so....exercise have to be delay 1 more day =.='''
Oh ya~ forgot to thank my big bro for that ^.^ u become more and more like a man d...hehe^.^ Thank You!!

p/s: photos uploaded in my flickr album. Just click on "my photo album" link on the right of the screen.
Photos are contributions of Nesohu.com!

blog

My blog is like part of me, that its something that stands at a very high position in my life. Its a place where I can boast bout myself, say anything without having to see ppl's face and to share and virtually discuss thoughts with ppl around me.

I know my language level is very very shallow that even kindie can read wat I am writing but the interesting thing is that u will often stare at my blog blank or get question mark above ur head after u off ur comp (perasan :p)

Erm~ seemingly, ppl that often read my blog updates kind of miss them even its just like a week or 2. This means~ my blog is kind of a success in a way that ppl actually miss my silly thought...haha...

Well~ thanks for all ur support. Even the comment space is always blank (except my bro), but I know u, u and u are all reading my blog^.^

Keep an eye on the updates on my blog^.^-v

Here's a spot the abnormality:
Doesn't that picture on the cover of that Colour pen applicable to those boxes beside it? Hehe~ just think that its interesting~ but my hands are too shaky that day, thanks to the stupid coffee @#$(@#)$@!

History Replay

Notice that in grandma of mom's side is like very dependent on auntie and the 1st uncle that stays with grandma, grandma just don't want to ask him to do anything.
The thing is, both of them are grandma's children, but in the end, asking auntie to do things seems to be so easy and to ask the 1st uncle to do things is super hard. Y? I don't quite understand.

Now that the history about to replay in my family, getting mom to ask me to help her is just a call away, but asking my bro is like~ don wan la~ he will complain and say a lot of thing...bla bla bla~ thinking bout that, mom will be getting onto the seat of grandma, I will be with the combination of mom and her sis, and my bro will be a combination of 60-40 of 1st and 3rd uncle.

Well, we are ur kids, asking us to do anything, help out, even we complain or say anything, its just reasonable to do anything, even to taste ur shit(yucks! that only occur in chinese cultural story book "二十四孝" :p)
Old ppl~ its like asking grandchildren or children to do little little things are very hard~ but in the past, when u guys wipe our buttocks, bathe us, feed us....erm...I don think there's any complain.

Conclusion: Me, myself need to learn to have more patience towards older ppl, but seriously, if I think u are on the right position, I can do anything u asked me to, but if I think u are just super wrong, I will still voice out anything. For my bro...well~ i know u are a super great child, grandchild and a super bro, but sometimes, u are just more concerned bout ur own self than parents and stuff. To my lovely dad and cute mom, well, the right concept take both of u to a better sweet old days in future^.^

p/s: I know u are reading, and that's y :p

Present

It's about mom's birthday~ which is about 3 days away, but she has been very upset and complaining bout her hp, and wanted to buy a "chapalang" hp from Tesco =.=''' I have been trying to make her think that I will get her 1, since dad say he is going to give her surprise~ but then~ she really keat~ tell my dad she want to go Tesco to get that hp, so~ my dad also takut sama dia(coz me got the siao gene from her:p, so I know how siao can the "determination" to get something can go), so~ he tell her that he's going to get her 1 new hp....so~ no more surprise :(

Ok~ talking bout presents, its not a usual thing that runs in our family~ even angpow is only given on chinese new year(erm~as long as I can recall la). So, its kind of weird to give some1 present on some "special" day like Birthday....and hence, saying thank you is kind of a pai sei thing if suddenly some1 in the family give a present to the others^.^ Erm....i am kind of pai sei to say thank you to them also~ coz...weird la~ sendiri punya family, sendiri punya parents and abang~ say thank you do wat? So, here comes a magic word: appreciate~ or using sms or msn or email --> senang, cepat dan berkesan^.^

Y lea? Y we don't have that kind of present giving running in our house?
maybe~ its coz we get everything we need not only on special occasion, but on anytime of the year when things come into our mind....also~maybe we have been given everything in advance until...err....I donno advance till wat year my "birthday" present went d....haha~~
As long as I can recall, the last formal birthday present is my 1st hp in 2002, nokia 3310 (y I can remember? coz that year is world cup year, and I use my hp to talk football with my frens:p)

So~ erm~ Happy belated Birthday to my "world class" big bro (2nd April) and my lovely dad (6th April, yesterday) and Birthday in advance to my cute mom (10th April)....make cake for the 3 of u when i go back pg^.^

Balance

Nutritionist always say that a balance diet is very important in every meal~ But my way of making things balance is by doing the week to week or mood to mood balance^.^

Its like~ i have had 3 days in a week with fast food, oily fast food, then try to make my way thru, getting healthy food for the next coming weeks, which is less oil, more vege, and very very moderate meals...so~ balance up all those food and "nutrient" absorbed into my body, which kind of like intestine clearance every weekend^.^

Not very healthy though =.=''' I am now making my way towards heart attack and brain damage, plus, kidney failure =.='''
Hopefully I can tahan longer on foods that are healthy.

P3@c3 -.^ _v

Face

Face is something very important in Chinese/Asian culture~ it is so important that even if we fell in public, the first thing that come into our mind is: are there ppl watching me while I fall or how do I hide myself immediately, than did I injure myself.

To boost bout ourselves is another thing that show others that we have "face". There are lots of examples as in different locations:
-In classical coffee shops, ppl "talk empty"(cakap kosong) bout something as in: analysis of political issue in their own way. Sometimes, when I over heard their conversation, its so funny but, from there, I take up a bit from the ppl's point of view and then analyse my thoughts in a better way, seeing a bigger picture.
-In traditional market, this auntie will tell that auntie how many marks her child got in sch, or the position of her child in sch, then compare hers and the other aunties. Even to compare price of a bunch of vege she bought yesterday some where else, which is like 10cents cheaper than the other auntie bought.
-In office, talking bout econ in the share market way. Saying bout how much my share went up yesterday and stuff.

Its all bout the good things ppl boost about, but when it comes to the bad things, they will still boost, but by turning points that looks bad to be seemingly as if nothing actually knock on his/her head.

HUMBLE~ is the word that all of us have to learn, BUT, not to the extreme that we keep everything to ourselves, thinking that sharing is showing off.
Its hard to get a balance, I know~ but then, just try not to make urself stand up, without even estimating ur own capability, or who are u/where r u standing comparing to the ppl u are talking to.