压抑

可能~
我已经习惯压抑自己
压抑已经是种习惯
习惯到。。。我有时忘记我要的是什么。。。

压抑自己
自己所要的都不重要
重要的是
每个人都快乐
身边的人都可以被满足~

其实，我快乐吗？？
嗯~现在有点模糊~
有时，觉得世界上该有的我都拥有
不该有的，我也有了~
那~我还要有何要求呢？

是爱吗？
还是~那只是家人和朋友给我的压力？？
要爱有错吗？
没有要爱也有错吗？

混乱了~
我到底要的是什么呢？
我在压抑吗？
神啊~请给我一个可以与我分担的人！！

龟论

人与人的沟通真得很复杂！
硬碰硬，结果会是两败俱伤，再嫁祸于他人~
强遇弱，结果会是弱者被伤的很严重~
当某一方作出改善，将心比心，为他人着想，他/她就会被另一方欺负~

龟论之沟通篇：
你不动则，我不动
你要害我，我缩进壳里
你偏要弄我，我偏冷静
万物之变~我以不变应万变~
冷静，冷静，再冷静~
忍，忍，再忍~
我已最冷静的心理，应最苛刻的万物~
表现最自然的自己~

龟仙万岁！！

初生之犊

Qi: Sometimes, I felt bad after I talk a lot~ especially after telling ppl the anger and unsatisfactory in me, or after a long talk about someone I have stories about.....
Pipi: If u have a blog, there is nothing to fear of to tell somebody anything.

Sometimes, I just feel....not right~ felt bad bout talking too much~ afraid that I might hurt someone, or make someone angry, and that's the only thing I am super afraid of. These few days, it seems like, I am mentally a bit stressed out, and even when I am asleep, I have all things and plans working in my brain~ so, its kind of mentally very tired, and if this is when I will say something that haven't went thru my brain, and then, I will feel bad about it =.='''

So~ the best thing is that I keep my mouth shut, and its really not ok if ppl wanted to get me start talking, coz....something bad might happen to u, or, to me~ Its like~ I haven't been having nice talk with my parents since last wednesday, and~ tonight, I have been talking non-stop since almost 10pm to almost 12 midnight =.=''' But, this kind of situation is still controllable, coz they are my parents and that they know me super well enough that I can't really say something wrong that will make them angry with me, or anything that hurt them. On the other hand, since I have been working since like 2 weeks ago, so~ I am quite afraid that I might say something wrong to my colleague, made them angry, or beh syok with me~ I am really Sorry~. Maybe~ as I have been telling myself over and over again, to keep my mouth shut! Unfortunately, its really very hard, but I should start applying the "Keep my mouth Shut" theory=.='''

Ok~ wat is the初生之犊about??
犊can be literally translated as a calf, a young cow
初生之犊means a newly born calf~
That describes me very well, becoz I am born in the year of cow/bull, in which, I am very cow/bull, as I always describe myself, coz, a bull will only move a little if some one whipped them once. So, a bull have to be continuously whipped, so that they can get work done.
I am a calf, which have no fear of what-so-ever. Whatever comes to me is "Ok", "No problem" and I will try my very best to get things done in a very cow/bull"ish" way. The only problem in me that I need to improve is my temper, my mouth, my stubborn"est" and learn how to coorperate and live in group.

Quite a lot for me to learn~
Hope that with my attitude of "No Fear", I can overcome obstacles in front of me.

自私

昨天，某朋友call我~
聊着。。。聊着。。。
他问我说什么时候有空去喝茶，或出来走走
我说，不得空~
就算有，我也会留下来做我自己的事~
其余的，再看我要不要拿出来给朋友~
再看是什么样的朋友。
他说：做人不可以这样自私的~
以前，我只有一张厕纸，
我朋友要用，我也先给他。
我说：那是你的事~
我总觉得，
做人就得先想自己
在把别人放进来~

嗯~我承认！
我自私！！
但，如果我自私的很快乐~
我自私的不伤人，不害人
我自私的把我觉得是我氛围的事做好
那，我觉得自私是件很好的事！！
这样的自私，
对我的健康，我的人生有很大的帮助，
那~何乐不为？

我自私~
但，我很快乐！
吹咩！！！哼！！BLEK!!

忍

有个友人告诉我，她忍无可忍了~
嗯~ 我就说~
既然回头了选择已下了，
就只有忍！

我人生唯一一段感情~
就是这样~
忍了又忍，让了又让~
就这样，
换回来的是：分手！

说起来~
这样的结局到目前为止，我觉得。。。。
可能过太久了吧~
我对感情事有点麻木了~
对于我所付出的，不是没有回报
因为~感情是互相的。

所以~
我就送了我那朋友一个字：忍！
要不，我的想法就是：
人，为什么要这么犯贱？皮痒？
活得好好的~
没事要找事来烦？？

结论？
还是：忍！
要不？
就是让自己麻木，事不关己~
不能活？
我还不是好好的~高兴快乐的？^.^

工作 vs. 做工

已经工作超过一个星期~
但，在我脑海里的我从来没有当工作/做工 as a 必要 or a 需要
工作/做工对我来说是一个。。。怎么说。。。
是个人生的一个过程
是个经验累积的程序
是个学习的旅程
是个精神上的训练。。。

刚好，今天，薪水的一天~
可能使我不当工作是为了赚钱
或，可能我从不当我所付出的所有需要回报
或，可能我做事只要有人肯定，对我来说就是最好的回报
当我看到我的 payment slip~
我很惊讶~
为什么会得到如此多钱~
我到底做了什么？
高兴的~回家告诉我老哥我赚的钱好多哦~
他看了看我的 slip,说：
虾咪！你每天做工就这么少钱？
我说： 就是这样啊~ 我的工作就只能赚到这么多~但，我很满足^.^

Expectation~
当一个人从没有对任何所付出的要任何物质上的回报~
满足感会让你活得很高兴，很幸福！！

忽然觉得我很酷
做人很潇洒~
或许
许多人或许会问我：
你就赚那 <鸡水甘多>，你可又想过你的未来？
你够花吗？
储蓄呢？
嗯~~我的回答？
人常会在书写上说~<<活在当下>>！
所以？就酱^.^