距离

在网陆上看到这文章， 还附加了这诗。。。简直符合了我心里百般的思念，心里的痛楚~

诗如下：

世界上最遥远的距离
不是, 生与死
而是,我就站在你面前
你却不知道我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是, 我就站在你面前,你却不知道我爱你
而是,明明知道彼此相爱
却不能在一起

世界上最遥远的距离
不是, 明明知道彼此相爱,却不能在一起,
而是,明明无法抵挡这股思念,
却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

世界上最遥远的距离
不是,明明无法抵挡这股思念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里
而是,用自己冷漠的心
对爱你的人,掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

文章：

“。。。这诗中的情感和苦痛，却是我自己切身的体会。我想对自己说，也告诉我思念中的一个人，无需说，无需求证，这世界上有一种情感叫做遥望。

我要写的就是遥望。无言的遥望，无望的遥望，不能分说的遥望，不可明言的遥望。

这样一首近乎于直白的诗-我甚至不认为它是诗。。。

。。。思念，人同此心的思念。

网络时代的思念，是世界上最遥远的距离。

现实有界，人生有涯，而人的思想是无限的。因而我说，所有的拥有都有限，只有思念无 限。那么思念又是什么呢？是否可以说，思念是一种由于时空阻隔而产生的渴望圆满而心神不宁的痛楚：你远在天涯，我不知道你在哪里，也不知道你变成了什么样 子。或者，思念是记忆留下的无法抹平的辙痕，时空产生的牵肠挂肚的追索。好比泰戈尔的吟咏：夏日的南风里有一股奇异的芳踪，让我想望得心痛。思念既由距离 所产生，又将距离进一步延伸。这个距离，便是心的皈依。爱到极限，思念就变成无穷。

蜡炬成灰，死而后已，所谓爱是不能忘记的。这既是情爱的慰籍，也是人生的无奈。这首诗，写了生之无奈，爱之无望。

事过经年，又到栀子花开满坡的季节；事过经年，多少良辰美景虚设。然而有些事无法放下，有些人不能忘记。当时的雨，当时的心境，依旧清晰可见。

于是我写了这篇文章，纪念一件爱却不能拥有的往事。”

以上都摘于：http://www.euchn.com/info/Html/200681518627-1.Html

~给那还在我心中的你~

Holiday vs Blogging

Holiday supposed to have lots of programs, and that should have a lot of stories to write about, lots of happy things to share with u guys, but then~for gals, happy things are really hard to be expressed in words, and sad frustrating things are very easy to slip out of our mouth...(erm~ I am classifying humans into gals and guys again~ sorry, but I think there's experimental support for that, including difference in brain of males and females^.^)

Days passes like lightning...its like, I just woke up not long ago, and then, here I am again, in my room, doing things that I should to end the day....I love that, but....not when I have so many things to do=.='''
Anyway, nothing much to complain bout the sky, the sea and the air that I breathe...coz...my life is really great, not like 2 years back, in which, everyday was really hard to pass, coz I only have 1 and only 1 thought filling my brain. WAIT~ pull hand break and reverse a bit! Its not that I don like my life for the past 2 years or that I suffer a lot in those days, its just that...my heart now is not as rough as the wave in the sea, but calm as breeze~ too calm sometimes that I fear that I might be too cold in every aspect, which might then bring me to a world, which is too winter, without something to cheer me or surprise me anymore~

Life's like that......
I laugh and smile not from the bottom of my heart, coz I can't see anything that attracts me that much.
Tears and sorrow doesn't come as often, as I now have better control of them.
Thoughts are my best fren, making emotion come and go as they like, not to let them interfere my life; round everything up in a very reasonable way; making my thought direct to the point, don have to consider anything "else".

Hm...seems like I have gone way too far from the topic :p & that I am still complaining bout this and that the whole way thru.... :p
Pai Sei la~

Menu for the day

Wat's on table today??
cabbage and curry chicken^.^

starting the day~

Starting my day at 8am~ erm~ don't really want to get up so early...but then~ maybe I have got enough sleep already =.='''

wat have i done this morning??
Make clothes in my closet in to order...its actually shift things here and there, so as to make it look more neat...no one's going to look into my closet, its only me, so...its just for my own "syok"ness :p
Done 2 machine loads of clothes, which is like, the whole washing area is full of my clothes hanging^.^
Then, cleaned my car....which every1 say its super "clean". I don't wash my car as often as u guys coz if I want to wash my car, it have to be hand washed by myself, which makes me proud of it to claim that I love my car, instead of "u", make other ppl wash it for u (BLEK:P)

Have to take a bath d~
My whole body is WET!

Time

Time seems to be fly fast~ but yet, it makes me feel very frustrated~~Why is it that the paper for microbe will be on Tuesday????Why~~~~
I kept hugging my own made notes~ drawing, scribble and highlight important points over and over again~ but then~~ its still Sunday =.=''' Why isn't today monday? why the paper is not on monday? why is it that the exam have to stretch from the 1st day to the last?? WHY~~~

Feel to tired, brain freeze, too many things learnt and processed...yet~ points still have to be packed into my brain....sien~tired~bored~and felt sleepy once notes is in my hands =.='''

Life's like that~ one day, I might look back and say:" wow~ I have had a great life back then...wished I am a student and have the feeling of sitting for exam again"....
Right~ wished that would happen :p

天使与恶魔的决斗

明明，理智已经把一切都分析好了； 时间已经可以用年来计算；脑筋非常的清楚~ 但是，感觉还是赢了。

自己与自己的决斗，不是一两天可以解决的~ 天使VS恶魔。。。
天使，为我开了新的一条路。。。前途光明，好像梦境一样。。。
恶魔，却一直把我那要踏进梦境的那脚拉回来~ 让我一直被捆绑在现实里。。。
那~到底恶魔是好人，还是天使是好人？

我~常想把自己带到梦境，无忧无虑，自由自在~ 但往往，身边有太多太多的恶魔~把我拉回现实。
我不要！！！
我喜欢骗自己，喜欢梦境，不要清醒， 不要记得。。。都不要~~~

理智啊~ 请你不要把我的梦粉碎~
我好想好想。。。就这样~就这样或在骗局里~

如果

如果，我用我的一生来吃喝玩乐~
如果，我的一生是没有高峰低潮的~
如果，我的一生是平淡的~
如果，我没有出世~
如果，我一直都活在过去~
如果，我变成不是我了~
如果，我出过社会打工~
如果，我失意了~
如果，我是个美女~
如果，我很聪明~
如果，我从来不知道~
如果，我没有感觉~
如果，我叫体贴世相~
如果，我不承认是你~
如果，我早一点认识你~
如果， 我有得从新再来~
如果~如果~

如果，世上是有如果~那么，人生就不会那么精彩~
有如果，就不会有现在的我~

-void-

Have had exam on proteins and proteomics today~ the paper is ok~ I can do most of them, but then, damn the last question....I know how to do eh~ but time ends when I know how to do that question =.='''

After the paper~ went IKEA~ coz I want to buy some stuff to make my room look better, neat is the word~ but then...I think it will never happen~ at least, the word "neat" can still describe my room even for like....2 days?? :p money spent~ RM36.60 plus 14.50 for lunch and 3.80 for toll, plus fill in 1 full tank of petrol, and then pasar malam some more 10.50...total for today RM115.4 =.='''
went to kor kor's house...erm...can say~ for a visit. But then~ a bit pai sei lor~ no buy anything~ then go there, sit sit a while, then come back~ jia lat~

What stupid thing have I done today?
Erm~ went to pasar malam, want to buy something for tomolo's lunch, paid, but then forgot to take the food bought =.=''' luckily that auntie remind me~

What's interesting thing of the day?
- learning how to go Ikea, and my auntie's house.
- saw a boy in pasar malam, singing Lee Hom's song in the new album...erm~ pai sei to say that, that kid sing better than me, even know every word in the lyrics
- "over" heard ppl talking in Pasar malam~ thinking that I still love going places that I can observe ppl~ humans really make me amused and love living on earth with them around me^.^

Result of the day~
sleepy, tired, blurred pain eyes, empty brain and lazy body

Conclusion~
I am happy and enjoying living^.^

男女平等

这个话题~已经快越年代，经过几十年的辩论，成为男女争论的原点。。。
曾经听过：“你们男人都是这样的”，或 “这就是女人的天性” 等的话吗？该是常有的事吧~ 因我嘴里也常会出现这话：P （歹势啦~）

男女平等，是女人说要争取的~但~女人们就是从未想过男生并没有对女生有歧视的意识阿~ 可能，歧视是有，但~都已经什么年代了， 歧视的心理应该也平复了吧~

女人就是这样~ 我自己是女的也不帮自己了~ 想要平等， 但偏偏就是会有那：“男人本来就应该这或那的~ 然后，一回头又说，要争取女人的权利，要男女平等的~

世界，本来就是圆的，不是四方或平面的~ 所以，根本就没有所谓的公平存在。
说真的~要公平，要平等，就不要把世界分成男女，或是中性人。因为，人，本来就不是女的，就是男的（撇开中性不说）~所以，只要部分种类，不分你我，就该世界和平了吧~
说得容易，但，人的思想就是很难去改正过来的~

结论：男或女，只是基因的塑造成的。。。所以，那差别，就只在那X 和Y~ 人，本就是同个祖先进化而成的~
所以，本是同根生，相煎何太急呢？

Which celebrities I look alike with? (Part 3)

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Which celebrities I look alike with? (Part 2)

Which celebrities I look alike with?

Finally finish revision~

Finally~ after torture my brain for 2 days straight, I manage to look thru the notes twice as planned....whew!!! its such a relieve.

However, finish studying and knowing everything is just not the same thing~
As I said, finish the 3rd, forgot the 1st~ its really frustrating....very frustrating, even chocolate can't help to increase dopamine release in my brain to make me feel better~

I've already did my best in studying and revising....it's true and I can swear that I really did the best d~
The rest....have to wait till tomolo after the exam, then only I can tell if the 2 days of torturing is worth it or not =.='''

Felt so tired....its like the whole brain is going to collapse anytime....

p/s: don't blame me if I really can't get the CGPA u guys expected me to get....coz~ I have my own target also~ but then, reality and imaginary is always not the same thing....

Neuro

Now~ brain is super packed with facts from notes....its like have to know every word from cover to cover, no tips, no area of importance, no past years, no nothing~
Its like assuming that our brain have full capacity of 20GB or something~

HOW CAN U DO THIS TO US???

Its really torturing~ afraid to drop anything out, continuing load things into brain even felt very tired~ then~ after finish the 3rd notes, forgot the 1st 1....
Wat's the point actually to make us study like that?? Then some more pura-pura say that: I am here to help u~ not to burden u".
Damn him!! Shit him!!! Curse him!!!
Thinking of want to hack his computer with the trojan horse I have in my computer~

wahahahaha~~~~~

P/s: this sem sure teruk....very, superly, surely teruk..... =.='''

Grandpa still fresh in mind

I think grandpa is smart~ when he was alive, he just sat there at "his place", watching tv, sleep or think on his own....he doesn't kacau ppl unless he need help to do something, like buying things to eat, or to go to take something for him. He's like...exist, but we don't really go to talk to him when seeing him everyday~ only, when enter the house, call him, then say bye when going back home~

Erm....like I said last time~ I still remembered the last phrase he told me, and the last angpow he gave me....insisted to give it to me himself, even the angpow is with grandma~ aih....tears start filling up d~

Anyway~ wat he's smart about is that....he existed like he doesn't and he doesn't exist anymore now, but then~ feels like he is still sitting at his corner in his house....
In Buddhist saying: 色既是空，空既是色~ I think he some how made it in that way....

Though he might not remember and recall wat good things he did when my dad once asked him~ but...hehe....wat he replied is interesting~ he say~ he donno wat good things he did, but he say he certainly never did anything that he should not^.^
My dad then say something that I don't quite agree...but then~ nvm...my dad is that kind of person that is wat I am exactly the same as...that is~ we will nv accept other ppl's thought and advice if we have our own stand in our mind :p

k~ back to the topic.....
As I recall a lot of things....I can feel grandpa is just beside "us", all family members~ inside our heart....

I can feel u grandpa ^.^

Difficult to get out of bed??

Feeling sick that u wake up late everyday, late to class/work~ keep pressing snooze button become ur habit??
Here's an invention for u --> Clocky~
Though~ I think its only sold in US, but then...u may order it can get ship to ur house "GUA"~

I don't have that kind of prob, lazy to get up of bed....thinking don't want to go to class kind of thought as often as u might think it happen~
I just think a clock that running round the house may sound cute ^.^

Check it out at http://nandahome.com/products.clocky.html


Enjoy^.^

Exams

Know the consequences of having exams and preparation for exams??
Loads of junk food to keep u awake, face full of pimples, maggee is the time saving fren, speaker gets frustrated working long hours, walkman kept getting hungry, nightmares over the whole nights (even dreamt of Dr. Anthony haven't finish giving his lectures =.='''), easily get angry over tiny matters....even the stomach gets bloated (my weight increased by 2kg....OMG!!!) the whole day and the result of too much junk -->
And~ wat I have for my tea??
Notice the background of the sandwich?? NOTES!!! the sick, allergic, irritated, never ending notes.....ARRHHH!!!

Continue study~
DON'T ASK SILLY QUESTIONS THAT MAKES ME FELT IRRITATED!!!
But then~ pls forgive me if my intonation in communication sounds irrespectful~ its just not the time to talk to any1......

IQ

I did 2 IQ tests online today~Both shows the result that I have IQ of above 126, which means that I am included in the upper 10% of IQ of the human population....YAY!!!

IQ is tested to show that wat is the age of ur brain in relative to ur age...and after calculation, I found out that I have brain power of bout 27 years old....
So~ what can I do with that IQ of 126 and above??
Erm....simply nothing :p I will still be doing wat I love doing~ nv put full effort on things~ doing everything half way thru~ being a normal gal~ etc...etc....

So~ y care bout wat status of IQ I have anyway?? coz...coz....I want to prove to myself that I am not dumbo, and I am smart enough to survive on earth....haha~~
Do u know that in selection theory of evolution, one don't have to be super great. One only have to be good enough to survive ^.^ I am part of evolution, and that I just have to be good enough to survive ^.^

Erm...u might say that if I have a normal, simple life, and that I am not great, only good enough, and that in future, I won't have any story to tell ppl or my future offspring, and the following family tree....But then~ think bout that, every1 have their own individual, unique story bout their past~ its just that u take it as interesting or boring~
Even if u have wonderful, colourful life, and that u don't even know how to express urself in story or in words~ they will never become fairy tale ^.^

So, live with watever u have~
p/s: just very happy with my IQ of 126 and above ^.^
tell me that u have IQ of 130, 200 or watever~ I just am good enough to be me^.^
last~~did u ever know that Shakespeare have higher IQ than that or Einstein?? I am so shock with that.....Einstein have above 160 and Shakespeare' was above 174!!

study OR drama?? ^.^

finished the whole series of 宫 (princess)....so that I can really concentrate on my notes, not to be distracted by anything else....
Cried the whole way thru the last few chapters...feels like a dumbo, sitting alone, staring at the screen, then sob, cry, and tears rolling :p
Its really fun though~ really a great series...especially like those shots taken from different angle, the director really knows how to consider angles, making scenes not just story, but art~
Love those arrangements of bears...making them impose the characters in the drama...^.^
I'll be watching the series again after finals....^.^

Something to share with u guys....I find it interesting~
Know wats great bout Malaysians generally? They desperately NEED shade and protection from sun~ hahaha~~

jusco

Interesting thing of the day --> money

went secret recipe, jusco to meet Darren....doing some genetics stuff~
Eat, study, then pay (with cash), leaving RM14 with me....

Then, wat stupid thing I do??
go buy junk food in Jusco....cost....not enough to pay =.='''
Then, thought coz I have jusco card, so, no need to pay the parking.....but the screen show...50 cents...alamak!! where can I go find 50 cents??

So~ I tell the gal I go to my car to find 50 cents for her....luckily...and lucky for me that I love simply put money here and there...wahahah~~~

=.=''' see la...I so poor, 50 cents also don have
hahaha~~~