压抑

可能~
我已经习惯压抑自己
压抑已经是种习惯
习惯到。。。我有时忘记我要的是什么。。。

压抑自己
自己所要的都不重要
重要的是
每个人都快乐
身边的人都可以被满足~

其实，我快乐吗？？
嗯~现在有点模糊~
有时，觉得世界上该有的我都拥有
不该有的，我也有了~
那~我还要有何要求呢？

是爱吗？
还是~那只是家人和朋友给我的压力？？
要爱有错吗？
没有要爱也有错吗？

混乱了~
我到底要的是什么呢？
我在压抑吗？
神啊~请给我一个可以与我分担的人！！

龟论

人与人的沟通真得很复杂！
硬碰硬，结果会是两败俱伤，再嫁祸于他人~
强遇弱，结果会是弱者被伤的很严重~
当某一方作出改善，将心比心，为他人着想，他/她就会被另一方欺负~

龟论之沟通篇：
你不动则，我不动
你要害我，我缩进壳里
你偏要弄我，我偏冷静
万物之变~我以不变应万变~
冷静，冷静，再冷静~
忍，忍，再忍~
我已最冷静的心理，应最苛刻的万物~
表现最自然的自己~

龟仙万岁！！

初生之犊

Qi: Sometimes, I felt bad after I talk a lot~ especially after telling ppl the anger and unsatisfactory in me, or after a long talk about someone I have stories about.....
Pipi: If u have a blog, there is nothing to fear of to tell somebody anything.

Sometimes, I just feel....not right~ felt bad bout talking too much~ afraid that I might hurt someone, or make someone angry, and that's the only thing I am super afraid of. These few days, it seems like, I am mentally a bit stressed out, and even when I am asleep, I have all things and plans working in my brain~ so, its kind of mentally very tired, and if this is when I will say something that haven't went thru my brain, and then, I will feel bad about it =.='''

So~ the best thing is that I keep my mouth shut, and its really not ok if ppl wanted to get me start talking, coz....something bad might happen to u, or, to me~ Its like~ I haven't been having nice talk with my parents since last wednesday, and~ tonight, I have been talking non-stop since almost 10pm to almost 12 midnight =.=''' But, this kind of situation is still controllable, coz they are my parents and that they know me super well enough that I can't really say something wrong that will make them angry with me, or anything that hurt them. On the other hand, since I have been working since like 2 weeks ago, so~ I am quite afraid that I might say something wrong to my colleague, made them angry, or beh syok with me~ I am really Sorry~. Maybe~ as I have been telling myself over and over again, to keep my mouth shut! Unfortunately, its really very hard, but I should start applying the "Keep my mouth Shut" theory=.='''

Ok~ wat is the初生之犊about??
犊can be literally translated as a calf, a young cow
初生之犊means a newly born calf~
That describes me very well, becoz I am born in the year of cow/bull, in which, I am very cow/bull, as I always describe myself, coz, a bull will only move a little if some one whipped them once. So, a bull have to be continuously whipped, so that they can get work done.
I am a calf, which have no fear of what-so-ever. Whatever comes to me is "Ok", "No problem" and I will try my very best to get things done in a very cow/bull"ish" way. The only problem in me that I need to improve is my temper, my mouth, my stubborn"est" and learn how to coorperate and live in group.

Quite a lot for me to learn~
Hope that with my attitude of "No Fear", I can overcome obstacles in front of me.

自私

昨天，某朋友call我~
聊着。。。聊着。。。
他问我说什么时候有空去喝茶，或出来走走
我说，不得空~
就算有，我也会留下来做我自己的事~
其余的，再看我要不要拿出来给朋友~
再看是什么样的朋友。
他说：做人不可以这样自私的~
以前，我只有一张厕纸，
我朋友要用，我也先给他。
我说：那是你的事~
我总觉得，
做人就得先想自己
在把别人放进来~

嗯~我承认！
我自私！！
但，如果我自私的很快乐~
我自私的不伤人，不害人
我自私的把我觉得是我氛围的事做好
那，我觉得自私是件很好的事！！
这样的自私，
对我的健康，我的人生有很大的帮助，
那~何乐不为？

我自私~
但，我很快乐！
吹咩！！！哼！！BLEK!!

忍

有个友人告诉我，她忍无可忍了~
嗯~ 我就说~
既然回头了选择已下了，
就只有忍！

我人生唯一一段感情~
就是这样~
忍了又忍，让了又让~
就这样，
换回来的是：分手！

说起来~
这样的结局到目前为止，我觉得。。。。
可能过太久了吧~
我对感情事有点麻木了~
对于我所付出的，不是没有回报
因为~感情是互相的。

所以~
我就送了我那朋友一个字：忍！
要不，我的想法就是：
人，为什么要这么犯贱？皮痒？
活得好好的~
没事要找事来烦？？

结论？
还是：忍！
要不？
就是让自己麻木，事不关己~
不能活？
我还不是好好的~高兴快乐的？^.^

工作 vs. 做工

已经工作超过一个星期~
但，在我脑海里的我从来没有当工作/做工 as a 必要 or a 需要
工作/做工对我来说是一个。。。怎么说。。。
是个人生的一个过程
是个经验累积的程序
是个学习的旅程
是个精神上的训练。。。

刚好，今天，薪水的一天~
可能使我不当工作是为了赚钱
或，可能我从不当我所付出的所有需要回报
或，可能我做事只要有人肯定，对我来说就是最好的回报
当我看到我的 payment slip~
我很惊讶~
为什么会得到如此多钱~
我到底做了什么？
高兴的~回家告诉我老哥我赚的钱好多哦~
他看了看我的 slip,说：
虾咪！你每天做工就这么少钱？
我说： 就是这样啊~ 我的工作就只能赚到这么多~但，我很满足^.^

Expectation~
当一个人从没有对任何所付出的要任何物质上的回报~
满足感会让你活得很高兴，很幸福！！

忽然觉得我很酷
做人很潇洒~
或许
许多人或许会问我：
你就赚那 <鸡水甘多>，你可又想过你的未来？
你够花吗？
储蓄呢？
嗯~~我的回答？
人常会在书写上说~<<活在当下>>！
所以？就酱^.^

空

色既是空，空既是色。

万物从无中生有，从万物生空~

空，是一个做人的最高境界~
空，是个必修课
要达到空, 就需<无你, 无他, 无是非>~

虽然, 我对事事都事不关己
但, 活在这万物都很重要的世上很难~
因为, 思想上静
但, 心是血肉合成
很难静下来~
当思想与心不能合二为一
构成<乱>, <烦>

要坚持??? 要配合???

Post-Industrial Society

Living in the post-industrial society, information is wat ppl sell, buy and need. The importance of information can be observed even at home, where all family members have their eyes locked to the computer screen, hands on keyboard, and sharing of information thru mouth, without looking up from the screen ^.^

The flow of new information is so great that no1 can actually know everything and is "smart" enough that they know everything, coz even if u know something at time A, at time A+ 1 second, information found might be equivalent to rubbish/nonsense, coz its outdated already. Hence, we humans have to be humble in learning/listening, eager to learn and absorb new information and not to be greedy to want to know a lot of things, otherwise, wat u get is just not applicable as well.

What info this post suppose to send over is~ mom, even internet is very interesting, rest ur eyes~ don see silly silly stuff, ok? ^.^

Time Factor

When we have all the time in the world, we tend to have the idea of "lets just let things be done tomolo". When we have just little time to spare for some work, we tend to have the the idea of "y do we want to accumulate so much work until now?"

When our time is "free", we just donno how to take control of the situation, make use of every seconds of it so as to make life work in a smooth flowing, proper way, until we got stuck in a corner, having only just minutes to spare, then, suddenly~ all planning "machinary" in our brain come into action just like that!

I am born in the year of Bull/Cow, in which, as it is, I need to be pushed or forced, then only I will take one step ahead.
For example~ it was ages since I last have my toilet+wadrobe properly tidied, and the whole place have spider webs, dust and some dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure cloth alone. But, when my cousin, staying over at my place say that the whole place is "dirty", then, I start to brush the whole place with a TOOTHBRUSH!! TWICE in a week!! =.=''' Which means, I am that kind that do things to its best when my body start working, but won't even move my finger tips when I am not in the idea of doing anything.

Well~ I can be considered......determined~ as in.....if I want to do something, it will be close to perfect (coz, I am not a 100% person); or~ as in...if u ask me to do something, and I say "OK", means, the thing will be done on time, no matter wat on earth happens.

I M One of a Kind^.^

应该

在这世上，没有谁或什么是“应该”的~
举例：
有人说：在读书是启用父母的钱是应该的
或：某事情应该是行走A线，B线是不可以的
或：男朋友应该位女朋友做某某东西
或：男女有别， 某男/女为另一个性别做某事是应该的
No....No.....
世上是没有如此这般的应该！
如果，“应该”在我们的生活当中占很重要的位置
那~是不是该是时候反省？
反省啥？
为什么某某应该跟着你想象的路线走？
为什么别人就应该做某某？而你~又做了什么？

应该？
世界上就是没有应该
只有人类的自私，傲慢与自我中心！！

Cute tortoise at home

Hiding in a tiny shade

Nemo, the tiny fish and Squirt, the turtle >.<'''

Good Enough

Sometimes~ one might think/feel that he/she is good enough to do something, and that they are able to handle something to its very best. However, nothing on earth is that easy as in words. Lessons have to be learned and applied, but it all depends on how fast things are absorbed and analyzed. I am quite a slow learner, where I don't actually absorb things when they 1st came to me, but over a period of time, I will get the whole picture, understand, learn and never forget.

In this fast pace world, no matter how fast one learn something, one will never be fast pace enough to be good enough. Information flow is faster than the speed lightning, millions of new information is send across the globe millions of times every single minute, and no one will ever be good enough.

My solution for my case?
To be beaten, evaluate, work out, then becoming stronger.

Erm....wat will I do now?
Hanging on the net, play, eat and sleep! =.='''
After all, I am the one that is desperately in need of something, but earth still work on its own path no matter I exist or not.

Nitez!!

Rainie day

I've been missing like ages ago~ Just drop by for some typing exercise^.^

It's been raining since the dawn of Monday till evening of Tuesday~ Erm....raining is not a big deal, but I am quite scared and worried about flood. Now~the thermometer shows temperature of 24 degrees, which is almost the normal temperature of Cameron Highlands^.^ Loving that, but...I am still sweating =.='''

Another thing is: Sometimes, some little thing just provoke me, make me want to smack u in the face, but~ wat I did is to use words that I meant to make u know that, it's just not the right way to start off a conversation, or it's not a right way to converse with ppl. However~ maybe I don't actually say things directly, coz: firstly, I am not any1 to tell u that, coz that's ur own attitude; and secondly, it might be just me and myself, who just don't like the way things go.

So~ the conclusion??
WATEVER!!!!

Sounds like Dad

Suddenly~ after the phone call with my younger cousin sis, I feel I sounded like my dad.

Erm....how should I put it.....well....its kind of~ when u are thinking more, or considering more than ppl younger than u, and u feel like its your responsibility to analyse thing for them, but at the same time, they have to put that analysis into real consideration.

And~ now, I can catch a little bit of how my dad feels and wat is going in his brain when he is trying to convey something to me, while at the same time, I am making fun of the whole conversation. It feels like....I am talking serious now, and wat I say is for your own good~ y can't you think for yourself and analyse things in a rational way, and some more I am the one having increasing blood pressure and analysis piled up in my brain~ while, u are making fun of wat I am saying =.='''

Sorry dad~ but I am really big enough now that I can settle things of my own myself. When situations are in the safe side, I will do things by my own independently; and if things are a bit serious, I will go to my bro for help, and if things are really serious, then only I will seek your opinion. But, of coz, I will consider things well enough, that I won't consult u only when it's between live and death.

Ok~ back to the topic....well~ I already did wat I could~ and I have carried out my responsibility with the best effort I can.

Aih.....it's really hard to be some sort of parents or guardian~

天真

有时候 我还蛮天真 蛮容易骗的

就好比 心情低落时
不管谁人是否真心的问候我 我都会超开心的
然后 当心情平复下来 新血来潮 打开电脑按一按
原来 只是~ 一场游戏一场梦^.^
不过~还算OK~
至少 还可以骗到我这天真的白痴
让我高兴一下 没有继续陷在不好的心情里
谢啦！

嗯~
还有就是~
有时 朋友或谁人跟我讲些有的没的
我都会相信
然后过了大概一个礼拜 才恍然大悟 --> 被骗了啦！笨蛋！！

就是这样~
我有点白痴 慢两三拍 神经病。。。
嗯~ 可有听过：
天才与疯子 只是一线只差？？
是的~ 我就是那疯子！！
哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~

天使 vs. 恶魔之战

我的世界里
住着三个不一样的我~
《天使 。 恶魔。 “我” 》
每每到了考试
三个我就会开打
续千年前的三国战~
天使~总要我努力奋斗尽我的全力打到底~
恶魔~总要我无所谓 自暴自弃 懒散~
这时“我”就出现了~
“我”就是不喜欢被强逼做东西
所以，“我”对另俩的抗压法就是：
我就做我的~你管得着吗？哼！

所以，结果肋~就是~
半桶水 + 还好 + 就酱 + 堕落 + 无一是处！

加油！！人生的另一个阶段就靠这个礼拜了！！
甘巴跌！！

The truth and nothing but the truth

Lately, the trend that is spreading all over on everything named on earth is "the truth". Everything named on earth includes, entertainment industry, politics, relationship with people, technology.....erm....almost everything~

Of coz, lies are still said and done, and those lies are lies that we know that its a lie by itself, and we know that it is "for our good" and "their own good". Some are acceptable, but some are just sickening.

With the fast evolving technology and network, making human connection so far, but yet so near, how long do u think a lie and remain undetected, unseen, unheard and unknown? Words and doings are all over the net just minutes after an action is taken. There is a saying: "The spread of words is worse than the spread of disease", and now, we have everything on our finger tips, so, anything one say, is a "pandemic", spreading around the globe.

Erm....as I say~ its a trend now, that the truth is wat ppl wants to see and hear. Lies are just disgusting in this trend (erm...that's wat I think la~).

HOWEVER, how much truth can one bear?

p/s: pls help me out with my 1st poll^.^

Accusation

I think I am quite an easy-going, no problem, "anything", "whatever" kind of person~ but~ when it comes to accusation, question or suspect wat I have been doing or wat I say, that is when the fire in me flame and the blood in my veins boil.

I am that kind that if I say something, I will surely do it~ if I leave some doubt between me and the things I can achieve, this means I will try my best~ and if there are words I play around with when I answer your question, means I make it the easiest way for you to understand wat I am trying to send across by not directly hit the bulls-eye. In short, I do and say only things I have serious grasp and control, and all that come from me are with serious consideration with a full length of plan and effort in them.

The thing is I am not that kind that say A and do B or C~ or that kind that promise you to get things done, but ended up I send you an "737"~ the only condition is --> remember to note my word, coz every word counts, either I am playing with words, having doubt in the accent or between words, or I am making a direct hit (a statement).

So~ with that, I would like to end with --> I hate being question or being suspicious over wat I said and done, or being accused!! Another thing is~ I am very particular in words, sentence or accent of any conversation, including SMS. Every little thing counts.

p/s: trying to relief those few incidents in one blog~ *Phew*~

恍神篇

我的人生有许多活在恍神的世界的时候。。。刚刚恍了一下，突然， 灵感来了, 写了一个RAP短篇：

<我有我的调调 我活在我的世界 通过各个媒介 想像我的未来 我的未来 一直我很期待 期待奇迹的精彩 让我们 make a wish~ PEACE!!>

哈哈~ 酷吧！

We and "We" as one

Lets begin with a note: let we as plural, and "we" as singular.

Ok~
I heard a song played on tv just now....its about being one/to be one/living as one~ and i was a bit curious~ erm....if we are one, then....are we different or we are the same?

We are individuals that are unique in some sense, coz....erm....we are born having a brain with different "inputs", but "we" are one becoz we are living in the same sociological, geographical, historical...background.
The curiosity is~y are we always being encouraged by slogans, songs, and brain input that we have to become "we", BUT, when "time" comes, "we" are always being told that "we" are actually we?? (a bit complicated huh?? That's my main idea^.^)

Being educated, have brain of our own, having thought to have our own analytical and brain power, we always thought that we are as in "we", until "we" are told that "we" are actually we. So~ the point here is --> do u actually want us to be we or "we"??

"We" are one, and one have the power to do anything!!