色既是空，空既是色。
万物从无中生有，从万物生空~
空，是一个做人的最高境界~
空，是个必修课
要达到空, 就需<无你, 无他, 无是非>~
虽然, 我对事事都事不关己
但, 活在这万物都很重要的世上很难~
因为, 思想上静
但, 心是血肉合成
很难静下来~
当思想与心不能合二为一
构成<乱>, <烦>
要坚持??? 要配合???
October 27, 2008
October 26, 2008
Post-Industrial Society
Living in the post-industrial society, information is wat ppl sell, buy and need. The importance of information can be observed even at home, where all family members have their eyes locked to the computer screen, hands on keyboard, and sharing of information thru mouth, without looking up from the screen ^.^
The flow of new information is so great that no1 can actually know everything and is "smart" enough that they know everything, coz even if u know something at time A, at time A+ 1 second, information found might be equivalent to rubbish/nonsense, coz its outdated already. Hence, we humans have to be humble in learning/listening, eager to learn and absorb new information and not to be greedy to want to know a lot of things, otherwise, wat u get is just not applicable as well.
What info this post suppose to send over is~ mom, even internet is very interesting, rest ur eyes~ don see silly silly stuff, ok? ^.^
The flow of new information is so great that no1 can actually know everything and is "smart" enough that they know everything, coz even if u know something at time A, at time A+ 1 second, information found might be equivalent to rubbish/nonsense, coz its outdated already. Hence, we humans have to be humble in learning/listening, eager to learn and absorb new information and not to be greedy to want to know a lot of things, otherwise, wat u get is just not applicable as well.
What info this post suppose to send over is~ mom, even internet is very interesting, rest ur eyes~ don see silly silly stuff, ok? ^.^
October 20, 2008
Time Factor
When we have all the time in the world, we tend to have the idea of "lets just let things be done tomolo". When we have just little time to spare for some work, we tend to have the the idea of "y do we want to accumulate so much work until now?"
When our time is "free", we just donno how to take control of the situation, make use of every seconds of it so as to make life work in a smooth flowing, proper way, until we got stuck in a corner, having only just minutes to spare, then, suddenly~ all planning "machinary" in our brain come into action just like that!
I am born in the year of Bull/Cow, in which, as it is, I need to be pushed or forced, then only I will take one step ahead.
For example~ it was ages since I last have my toilet+wadrobe properly tidied, and the whole place have spider webs, dust and some dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure cloth alone. But, when my cousin, staying over at my place say that the whole place is "dirty", then, I start to brush the whole place with a TOOTHBRUSH!! TWICE in a week!! =.=''' Which means, I am that kind that do things to its best when my body start working, but won't even move my finger tips when I am not in the idea of doing anything.
Well~ I can be considered......determined~ as in.....if I want to do something, it will be close to perfect (coz, I am not a 100% person); or~ as in...if u ask me to do something, and I say "OK", means, the thing will be done on time, no matter wat on earth happens.
I M One of a Kind^.^
When our time is "free", we just donno how to take control of the situation, make use of every seconds of it so as to make life work in a smooth flowing, proper way, until we got stuck in a corner, having only just minutes to spare, then, suddenly~ all planning "machinary" in our brain come into action just like that!
I am born in the year of Bull/Cow, in which, as it is, I need to be pushed or forced, then only I will take one step ahead.
For example~ it was ages since I last have my toilet+wadrobe properly tidied, and the whole place have spider webs, dust and some dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure cloth alone. But, when my cousin, staying over at my place say that the whole place is "dirty", then, I start to brush the whole place with a TOOTHBRUSH!! TWICE in a week!! =.=''' Which means, I am that kind that do things to its best when my body start working, but won't even move my finger tips when I am not in the idea of doing anything.
Well~ I can be considered......determined~ as in.....if I want to do something, it will be close to perfect (coz, I am not a 100% person); or~ as in...if u ask me to do something, and I say "OK", means, the thing will be done on time, no matter wat on earth happens.
I M One of a Kind^.^
October 15, 2008
应该
在这世上，没有谁或什么是“应该”的~
举例：
有人说：在读书是启用父母的钱是应该的
或：某事情应该是行走A线，B线是不可以的
或：男朋友应该位女朋友做某某东西
或：男女有别， 某男/女为另一个性别做某事是应该的
No....No.....
世上是没有如此这般的应该！
如果，“应该”在我们的生活当中占很重要的位置
那~是不是该是时候反省？
反省啥？
为什么某某应该跟着你想象的路线走？
为什么别人就应该做某某？而你~又做了什么？
应该？
世界上就是没有应该
只有人类的自私，傲慢与自我中心！！
举例：
有人说：在读书是启用父母的钱是应该的
或：某事情应该是行走A线，B线是不可以的
或：男朋友应该位女朋友做某某东西
或：男女有别， 某男/女为另一个性别做某事是应该的
No....No.....
世上是没有如此这般的应该！
如果，“应该”在我们的生活当中占很重要的位置
那~是不是该是时候反省？
反省啥？
为什么某某应该跟着你想象的路线走？
为什么别人就应该做某某？而你~又做了什么？
应该？
世界上就是没有应该
只有人类的自私，傲慢与自我中心！！
October 12, 2008
October 10, 2008
Good Enough
Sometimes~ one might think/feel that he/she is good enough to do something, and that they are able to handle something to its very best. However, nothing on earth is that easy as in words. Lessons have to be learned and applied, but it all depends on how fast things are absorbed and analyzed. I am quite a slow learner, where I don't actually absorb things when they 1st came to me, but over a period of time, I will get the whole picture, understand, learn and never forget.
In this fast pace world, no matter how fast one learn something, one will never be fast pace enough to be good enough. Information flow is faster than the speed lightning, millions of new information is send across the globe millions of times every single minute, and no one will ever be good enough.
My solution for my case?
To be beaten, evaluate, work out, then becoming stronger.
Erm....wat will I do now?
Hanging on the net, play, eat and sleep! =.='''
After all, I am the one that is desperately in need of something, but earth still work on its own path no matter I exist or not.
Nitez!!
In this fast pace world, no matter how fast one learn something, one will never be fast pace enough to be good enough. Information flow is faster than the speed lightning, millions of new information is send across the globe millions of times every single minute, and no one will ever be good enough.
My solution for my case?
To be beaten, evaluate, work out, then becoming stronger.
Erm....wat will I do now?
Hanging on the net, play, eat and sleep! =.='''
After all, I am the one that is desperately in need of something, but earth still work on its own path no matter I exist or not.
Nitez!!
September 30, 2008
Rainie day
I've been missing like ages ago~ Just drop by for some typing exercise^.^
It's been raining since the dawn of Monday till evening of Tuesday~ Erm....raining is not a big deal, but I am quite scared and worried about flood. Now~the thermometer shows temperature of 24 degrees, which is almost the normal temperature of Cameron Highlands^.^ Loving that, but...I am still sweating =.='''
Another thing is: Sometimes, some little thing just provoke me, make me want to smack u in the face, but~ wat I did is to use words that I meant to make u know that, it's just not the right way to start off a conversation, or it's not a right way to converse with ppl. However~ maybe I don't actually say things directly, coz: firstly, I am not any1 to tell u that, coz that's ur own attitude; and secondly, it might be just me and myself, who just don't like the way things go.
So~ the conclusion??
WATEVER!!!!
It's been raining since the dawn of Monday till evening of Tuesday~ Erm....raining is not a big deal, but I am quite scared and worried about flood. Now~the thermometer shows temperature of 24 degrees, which is almost the normal temperature of Cameron Highlands^.^ Loving that, but...I am still sweating =.='''
Another thing is: Sometimes, some little thing just provoke me, make me want to smack u in the face, but~ wat I did is to use words that I meant to make u know that, it's just not the right way to start off a conversation, or it's not a right way to converse with ppl. However~ maybe I don't actually say things directly, coz: firstly, I am not any1 to tell u that, coz that's ur own attitude; and secondly, it might be just me and myself, who just don't like the way things go.
So~ the conclusion??
WATEVER!!!!
September 22, 2008
Sounds like Dad
Suddenly~ after the phone call with my younger cousin sis, I feel I sounded like my dad.
Erm....how should I put it.....well....its kind of~ when u are thinking more, or considering more than ppl younger than u, and u feel like its your responsibility to analyse thing for them, but at the same time, they have to put that analysis into real consideration.
And~ now, I can catch a little bit of how my dad feels and wat is going in his brain when he is trying to convey something to me, while at the same time, I am making fun of the whole conversation. It feels like....I am talking serious now, and wat I say is for your own good~ y can't you think for yourself and analyse things in a rational way, and some more I am the one having increasing blood pressure and analysis piled up in my brain~ while, u are making fun of wat I am saying =.='''
Sorry dad~ but I am really big enough now that I can settle things of my own myself. When situations are in the safe side, I will do things by my own independently; and if things are a bit serious, I will go to my bro for help, and if things are really serious, then only I will seek your opinion. But, of coz, I will consider things well enough, that I won't consult u only when it's between live and death.
Ok~ back to the topic....well~ I already did wat I could~ and I have carried out my responsibility with the best effort I can.
Aih.....it's really hard to be some sort of parents or guardian~
Erm....how should I put it.....well....its kind of~ when u are thinking more, or considering more than ppl younger than u, and u feel like its your responsibility to analyse thing for them, but at the same time, they have to put that analysis into real consideration.
And~ now, I can catch a little bit of how my dad feels and wat is going in his brain when he is trying to convey something to me, while at the same time, I am making fun of the whole conversation. It feels like....I am talking serious now, and wat I say is for your own good~ y can't you think for yourself and analyse things in a rational way, and some more I am the one having increasing blood pressure and analysis piled up in my brain~ while, u are making fun of wat I am saying =.='''
Sorry dad~ but I am really big enough now that I can settle things of my own myself. When situations are in the safe side, I will do things by my own independently; and if things are a bit serious, I will go to my bro for help, and if things are really serious, then only I will seek your opinion. But, of coz, I will consider things well enough, that I won't consult u only when it's between live and death.
Ok~ back to the topic....well~ I already did wat I could~ and I have carried out my responsibility with the best effort I can.
Aih.....it's really hard to be some sort of parents or guardian~
September 19, 2008
天真
有时候 我还蛮天真 蛮容易骗的
就好比 心情低落时
不管谁人是否真心的问候我 我都会超开心的
然后 当心情平复下来 新血来潮 打开电脑按一按
原来 只是~ 一场游戏一场梦^.^
不过~还算OK~
至少 还可以骗到我这天真的白痴
让我高兴一下 没有继续陷在不好的心情里
谢啦！
嗯~
还有就是~
有时 朋友或谁人跟我讲些有的没的
我都会相信
然后过了大概一个礼拜 才恍然大悟 --> 被骗了啦！笨蛋！！
就是这样~
我有点白痴 慢两三拍 神经病。。。
嗯~ 可有听过：
天才与疯子 只是一线只差？？
是的~ 我就是那疯子！！
哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~
就好比 心情低落时
不管谁人是否真心的问候我 我都会超开心的
然后 当心情平复下来 新血来潮 打开电脑按一按
原来 只是~ 一场游戏一场梦^.^
不过~还算OK~
至少 还可以骗到我这天真的白痴
让我高兴一下 没有继续陷在不好的心情里
谢啦！
嗯~
还有就是~
有时 朋友或谁人跟我讲些有的没的
我都会相信
然后过了大概一个礼拜 才恍然大悟 --> 被骗了啦！笨蛋！！
就是这样~
我有点白痴 慢两三拍 神经病。。。
嗯~ 可有听过：
天才与疯子 只是一线只差？？
是的~ 我就是那疯子！！
哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~
September 17, 2008
天使 vs. 恶魔之战
我的世界里
住着三个不一样的我~
《天使 。 恶魔。 “我” 》
每每到了考试
三个我就会开打
续千年前的三国战~
天使~总要我努力奋斗尽我的全力打到底~
恶魔~总要我无所谓 自暴自弃 懒散~
这时“我”就出现了~
“我”就是不喜欢被强逼做东西
所以，“我”对另俩的抗压法就是：
我就做我的~你管得着吗？哼！
所以，结果肋~就是~
半桶水 + 还好 + 就酱 + 堕落 + 无一是处！
加油！！人生的另一个阶段就靠这个礼拜了！！
甘巴跌！！
住着三个不一样的我~
《天使 。 恶魔。 “我” 》
每每到了考试
三个我就会开打
续千年前的三国战~
天使~总要我努力奋斗尽我的全力打到底~
恶魔~总要我无所谓 自暴自弃 懒散~
这时“我”就出现了~
“我”就是不喜欢被强逼做东西
所以，“我”对另俩的抗压法就是：
我就做我的~你管得着吗？哼！
所以，结果肋~就是~
半桶水 + 还好 + 就酱 + 堕落 + 无一是处！
加油！！人生的另一个阶段就靠这个礼拜了！！
甘巴跌！！
September 16, 2008
The truth and nothing but the truth
Lately, the trend that is spreading all over on everything named on earth is "the truth". Everything named on earth includes, entertainment industry, politics, relationship with people, technology.....erm....almost everything~
Of coz, lies are still said and done, and those lies are lies that we know that its a lie by itself, and we know that it is "for our good" and "their own good". Some are acceptable, but some are just sickening.
With the fast evolving technology and network, making human connection so far, but yet so near, how long do u think a lie and remain undetected, unseen, unheard and unknown? Words and doings are all over the net just minutes after an action is taken. There is a saying: "The spread of words is worse than the spread of disease", and now, we have everything on our finger tips, so, anything one say, is a "pandemic", spreading around the globe.
Erm....as I say~ its a trend now, that the truth is wat ppl wants to see and hear. Lies are just disgusting in this trend (erm...that's wat I think la~).
HOWEVER, how much truth can one bear?
p/s: pls help me out with my 1st poll^.^
Of coz, lies are still said and done, and those lies are lies that we know that its a lie by itself, and we know that it is "for our good" and "their own good". Some are acceptable, but some are just sickening.
With the fast evolving technology and network, making human connection so far, but yet so near, how long do u think a lie and remain undetected, unseen, unheard and unknown? Words and doings are all over the net just minutes after an action is taken. There is a saying: "The spread of words is worse than the spread of disease", and now, we have everything on our finger tips, so, anything one say, is a "pandemic", spreading around the globe.
Erm....as I say~ its a trend now, that the truth is wat ppl wants to see and hear. Lies are just disgusting in this trend (erm...that's wat I think la~).
HOWEVER, how much truth can one bear?
p/s: pls help me out with my 1st poll^.^
September 11, 2008
Accusation
I think I am quite an easy-going, no problem, "anything", "whatever" kind of person~ but~ when it comes to accusation, question or suspect wat I have been doing or wat I say, that is when the fire in me flame and the blood in my veins boil.
I am that kind that if I say something, I will surely do it~ if I leave some doubt between me and the things I can achieve, this means I will try my best~ and if there are words I play around with when I answer your question, means I make it the easiest way for you to understand wat I am trying to send across by not directly hit the bulls-eye. In short, I do and say only things I have serious grasp and control, and all that come from me are with serious consideration with a full length of plan and effort in them.
The thing is I am not that kind that say A and do B or C~ or that kind that promise you to get things done, but ended up I send you an "737"~ the only condition is --> remember to note my word, coz every word counts, either I am playing with words, having doubt in the accent or between words, or I am making a direct hit (a statement).
So~ with that, I would like to end with --> I hate being question or being suspicious over wat I said and done, or being accused!! Another thing is~ I am very particular in words, sentence or accent of any conversation, including SMS. Every little thing counts.
p/s: trying to relief those few incidents in one blog~ *Phew*~
I am that kind that if I say something, I will surely do it~ if I leave some doubt between me and the things I can achieve, this means I will try my best~ and if there are words I play around with when I answer your question, means I make it the easiest way for you to understand wat I am trying to send across by not directly hit the bulls-eye. In short, I do and say only things I have serious grasp and control, and all that come from me are with serious consideration with a full length of plan and effort in them.
The thing is I am not that kind that say A and do B or C~ or that kind that promise you to get things done, but ended up I send you an "737"~ the only condition is --> remember to note my word, coz every word counts, either I am playing with words, having doubt in the accent or between words, or I am making a direct hit (a statement).
So~ with that, I would like to end with --> I hate being question or being suspicious over wat I said and done, or being accused!! Another thing is~ I am very particular in words, sentence or accent of any conversation, including SMS. Every little thing counts.
p/s: trying to relief those few incidents in one blog~ *Phew*~
恍神篇
我的人生有许多活在恍神的世界的时候。。。刚刚恍了一下，突然， 灵感来了, 写了一个RAP短篇：
<我有我的调调 我活在我的世界 通过各个媒介 想像我的未来 我的未来 一直我很期待 期待奇迹的精彩 让我们 make a wish~ PEACE!!>
哈哈~ 酷吧！
<我有我的调调 我活在我的世界 通过各个媒介 想像我的未来 我的未来 一直我很期待 期待奇迹的精彩 让我们 make a wish~ PEACE!!>
哈哈~ 酷吧！
September 9, 2008
We and "We" as one
Lets begin with a note: let we as plural, and "we" as singular.
Ok~
I heard a song played on tv just now....its about being one/to be one/living as one~ and i was a bit curious~ erm....if we are one, then....are we different or we are the same?
We are individuals that are unique in some sense, coz....erm....we are born having a brain with different "inputs", but "we" are one becoz we are living in the same sociological, geographical, historical...background.
The curiosity is~y are we always being encouraged by slogans, songs, and brain input that we have to become "we", BUT, when "time" comes, "we" are always being told that "we" are actually we?? (a bit complicated huh?? That's my main idea^.^)
Being educated, have brain of our own, having thought to have our own analytical and brain power, we always thought that we are as in "we", until "we" are told that "we" are actually we. So~ the point here is --> do u actually want us to be we or "we"??
"We" are one, and one have the power to do anything!!
Ok~
I heard a song played on tv just now....its about being one/to be one/living as one~ and i was a bit curious~ erm....if we are one, then....are we different or we are the same?
We are individuals that are unique in some sense, coz....erm....we are born having a brain with different "inputs", but "we" are one becoz we are living in the same sociological, geographical, historical...background.
The curiosity is~y are we always being encouraged by slogans, songs, and brain input that we have to become "we", BUT, when "time" comes, "we" are always being told that "we" are actually we?? (a bit complicated huh?? That's my main idea^.^)
Being educated, have brain of our own, having thought to have our own analytical and brain power, we always thought that we are as in "we", until "we" are told that "we" are actually we. So~ the point here is --> do u actually want us to be we or "we"??
"We" are one, and one have the power to do anything!!
September 8, 2008
Love from parents
Dear mom and dad~
I know you guys care for my safety and my well-being so much that you try to think on behalf of me. For example, analyse situations, or predict future, or see things I do in your eyes, and then tell me y I shouldn't do such things. That is good, I love that~ coz no other people other than the closest family members will tell you straight to you face that u are stupid to do such things.
However~~ all things said by any1 on earth are advice, and the final decision lies on my hand. So, from wat I hear and get from all of u, I will have to analyse them wisely, put some into action if I am wrong, and put some into the drawer of "advice" in cases I think I am right~ After all, I know my life better than all of you, coz, I know and understand where about I am standing, who are the frens I get together with, wat I do and why I do that. There are always reasons for something to happen, and something I do.
Don't worry too much~ I understand, and I do analyse things with my brain~ BUT, of coz, advice, love and care are never too much~ so~ keep sending me advice with statements, PLUS explainations^.^
Love,
Your cute daughter^.^
I know you guys care for my safety and my well-being so much that you try to think on behalf of me. For example, analyse situations, or predict future, or see things I do in your eyes, and then tell me y I shouldn't do such things. That is good, I love that~ coz no other people other than the closest family members will tell you straight to you face that u are stupid to do such things.
However~~ all things said by any1 on earth are advice, and the final decision lies on my hand. So, from wat I hear and get from all of u, I will have to analyse them wisely, put some into action if I am wrong, and put some into the drawer of "advice" in cases I think I am right~ After all, I know my life better than all of you, coz, I know and understand where about I am standing, who are the frens I get together with, wat I do and why I do that. There are always reasons for something to happen, and something I do.
Don't worry too much~ I understand, and I do analyse things with my brain~ BUT, of coz, advice, love and care are never too much~ so~ keep sending me advice with statements, PLUS explainations^.^
Love,
Your cute daughter^.^
September 5, 2008
Target of life
If~ there is no such system as point or percentage in life, what will be your target in life?
For example, if there is no such thing as a 100% or 10 marks for the test or exam u are taking, wat is the target that u aim for, so as for u to be grateful, and happy about it?
OR
If there is nothing as in how many percent u will get in something u do in your work, wat is the target that you aim for so as to make u strive?
OR
Imagine there is never been an invention of numbers, or alphabet, or even currency, wat is the target that you might aim for in your life, "living", not "surviving"? (living means, u live your life to the max; while surviving means, just pure living with air, food and the necessities)
My target?
Just one word, "song"(in hokkien/canton), "syok" (in malaysian term) ^.^
Well, its just all about pleasure and enjoying myself in things I do^.^
For example, if there is no such thing as a 100% or 10 marks for the test or exam u are taking, wat is the target that u aim for, so as for u to be grateful, and happy about it?
OR
If there is nothing as in how many percent u will get in something u do in your work, wat is the target that you aim for so as to make u strive?
OR
Imagine there is never been an invention of numbers, or alphabet, or even currency, wat is the target that you might aim for in your life, "living", not "surviving"? (living means, u live your life to the max; while surviving means, just pure living with air, food and the necessities)
My target?
Just one word, "song"(in hokkien/canton), "syok" (in malaysian term) ^.^
Well, its just all about pleasure and enjoying myself in things I do^.^
August 24, 2008
放弃
有时候，觉得社会有太多的诱惑，让我觉得，“放弃" 是最好的出路~
放弃，是舍弃原本的我~
放弃，是拥抱最简单的人生~
放弃，是迷失自己~
放弃，是追求人生的另一段路的开始。。。
我渐渐离开原本的梦，
渐渐拥抱最简单的人生，
慢慢的迷失自己~
开创着另一个人生的目标。。。
借口成了我的伴侣~
堕落成了我的人生~
放弃成了我人生的路途~
我还生存着~
但，我还活着吗？
放弃，是舍弃原本的我~
放弃，是拥抱最简单的人生~
放弃，是迷失自己~
放弃，是追求人生的另一段路的开始。。。
我渐渐离开原本的梦，
渐渐拥抱最简单的人生，
慢慢的迷失自己~
开创着另一个人生的目标。。。
借口成了我的伴侣~
堕落成了我的人生~
放弃成了我人生的路途~
我还生存着~
但，我还活着吗？
August 17, 2008
Badminton Finals (Olympic)
At last~ the 1st medal for Malaysia in Olympic 2008~
21-12, 21-8
Though its a bit disappointing, with all those mistakes made by Lee Chong Wei in the match, but seriously~ Imagine carrying hopes and pressure from 24.8 million people on your shoulder~ its really tough!
Ok~ back to some comments to be made.
After 7 years of life in badminton (if not mistaken), Lin Dan became "handsome"er than that I 1st saw in years back, with the body tone and stuff, well~ I guess he gets all the appreciation from the country~ Getting back to Malaysian (with Lee Chong Wei, 6 years of battle on the court)~ after so many years of struggle on the court, erm....I mean....we can see the difference in the whole image of our player.
Well~material support really make some difference~ mentally and physically, as to say.
To End:
CONGRATULATIONS MALAYSIA~
SILVER@.@
P/S: Lee Chong Wei is currently ranked 2nd in Badminton and Lin Dan ranked 1st according to stats.
21-12, 21-8
Though its a bit disappointing, with all those mistakes made by Lee Chong Wei in the match, but seriously~ Imagine carrying hopes and pressure from 24.8 million people on your shoulder~ its really tough!
Ok~ back to some comments to be made.
After 7 years of life in badminton (if not mistaken), Lin Dan became "handsome"er than that I 1st saw in years back, with the body tone and stuff, well~ I guess he gets all the appreciation from the country~ Getting back to Malaysian (with Lee Chong Wei, 6 years of battle on the court)~ after so many years of struggle on the court, erm....I mean....we can see the difference in the whole image of our player.
Well~material support really make some difference~ mentally and physically, as to say.
To End:
CONGRATULATIONS MALAYSIA~
SILVER@.@
P/S: Lee Chong Wei is currently ranked 2nd in Badminton and Lin Dan ranked 1st according to stats.
August 14, 2008
Stupid me~
I was talking to some1 about my future and wat I wanted to do after my final exam~ when I found wat I actually need to do during that period.
In my imagination, there are so much for me to catch up with my life after I end the whole Biomed thing. E.g.:
1. To learn languages, for my future usage.
2. To get my body moving, by signing up for some aerobics or dance class.
3. The most important thing, to support my own life, by getting any job, related or unrelated to my field of study, as long as I can get money for me to sign up for courses and for my food.
4. The super important thing, is to strengthen my foundation, by reading things I missed out during these 3 years of study and EXAMs.
5. At the same time, searching and getting ready to fly myself to my target^.^
Will I be able to fulfill my imagination?
I am not very sure bout that....coz....the more I know about life, the more I think I am stupid and such an idiot.
In my imagination, there are so much for me to catch up with my life after I end the whole Biomed thing. E.g.:
1. To learn languages, for my future usage.
2. To get my body moving, by signing up for some aerobics or dance class.
3. The most important thing, to support my own life, by getting any job, related or unrelated to my field of study, as long as I can get money for me to sign up for courses and for my food.
4. The super important thing, is to strengthen my foundation, by reading things I missed out during these 3 years of study and EXAMs.
5. At the same time, searching and getting ready to fly myself to my target^.^
Will I be able to fulfill my imagination?
I am not very sure bout that....coz....the more I know about life, the more I think I am stupid and such an idiot.
August 13, 2008
Suicide
Sometimes~u just feels like killing urself, and end everything or make everything happened unseen, unheard, and un"remembered".
Sometimes~u just feel that u are such an idiot, which cannot reach either end of the line in life.
Sometimes~u just feel so tired that u wanted to sleep forever, and never wake up ever again.
Sometimes~u just feel there is nothing more left on earth that makes u feel living is great.
Sometimes~u just feel life is so hard~ where u can't be too much of urself, and u can't be too pretending, even standing neutral is a fault.
Everything happen~ and they carry good reason behind them to happen right in front of our eyes. Its just how u interpret the meaning of things that happen. As said in sociology, the things that happen itself is not bias, giving one good thing and another the bad. Its just the person that interprets the situation/event that make things complicated.
How am I now?
Not really good in some sense~got a huge bucket of ice water dump onto my head right to my toes. See grey, black and white on everything I see now.
The good thing is I am still conscious, and still have my analytical mind intact....
I AM WHO I AM!!!
Sometimes~u just feel that u are such an idiot, which cannot reach either end of the line in life.
Sometimes~u just feel so tired that u wanted to sleep forever, and never wake up ever again.
Sometimes~u just feel there is nothing more left on earth that makes u feel living is great.
Sometimes~u just feel life is so hard~ where u can't be too much of urself, and u can't be too pretending, even standing neutral is a fault.
Everything happen~ and they carry good reason behind them to happen right in front of our eyes. Its just how u interpret the meaning of things that happen. As said in sociology, the things that happen itself is not bias, giving one good thing and another the bad. Its just the person that interprets the situation/event that make things complicated.
How am I now?
Not really good in some sense~got a huge bucket of ice water dump onto my head right to my toes. See grey, black and white on everything I see now.
The good thing is I am still conscious, and still have my analytical mind intact....
I AM WHO I AM!!!
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