乱凑 拼图

把这几天在“面书”上写的一堆怪心情胡乱拼成小小的心情气浮篇 ^.^

轻松愉快的人生~
当阴阳高低长短是非都平衡的存在在自己心里
有哪个神经病的吃太饱没事做的必要跟谁谁说那么多废话？
伤到气了~睡个美美的觉养回吧~^.^
晚安各位神经病^.^ Nitez^.^

Family ""drama" ing >.<'''
I wonder when will the final episode make everything fall into place >.<'''

不久前，嫂嫂告诉我说：没有任何人是地球的定居者，签证到期了，总是需要离开的。
我非常认同。
可能，在很久很久以前我已经决定了。
人生太短暂，所以。。。我已经尽力了。
希望我哥明白，他也尽力了。 活得健康快乐~
剩下的，就让它顺其自然~
更何况~~对得起自己，就算别人怎么说，怎么看，我知道，我还是有人支持我。
希望你们也一样~
各位神经病~~加油!!

Jeng jeng jeng~~~~~
Happy Family~~
神经病们都不再乱跑，进入可爱的院子里咯~~
呵呵~~ ^.^

的确很乱吧~
人生其中有趣的一篇就是：乱
可以学到很多

晚安~各位神经病~
我还会回来~~
I will be back!!

番外篇:
神经病A: Siao eh~~ 这样也爽~ 啐！
神经病B: 自己有病还敢说人家，我还呸你呢~
神经病C: 你还不是一样...都住在同一家,还乱~
神经病D: 我比你们都还清醒~至少我知道我是个不折不扣的神经病
阿祺: .......

无题

二十几年了~
该成熟的头脑早已成形
该说得都已说了百遍万遍
我们不是不会教，还是没教养
因为同样一个教养出来的都没有同样的理念
我们已经没有气和身体的消耗来教了。
会的已经会了，想会的也已经学会了。
已经不想再多放任何希望下去了。

我是害人精

我的心肠最坏了
最好世界上每个人都死
只有我活着

我看人眼睁睁的死
太高兴了
我看人痛苦
太好了
有人病痛
是我的最爱

见人害人，我的爱好
见人吵架，爽
见人犯错，特爽
见人想死，快推他一把
爽~非常爽

我就是爱作对
就是爱反抗
关心是世界上最好笑的借口

现在我才知道做二姨妈的角色由多好
嘴里出现的只是顺从
没事，什么事都没有

我是笨蛋
我是米虫
我是天下最害人的特等害人精



p/s:以上都是气话，除此之外，我接下来都会当二姨妈的角色，什么都好，什么都无所谓，什么都对，你们说了就太好了~还有一个月。。。拜拜！！

如果

A:“哇！你女儿长这么大啦~现在再做什么？”
B:“她阿，刚读完医学院，算是个医生了吧~”
A:“医生啊~好聪明哦~”
B:“呵呵。。。”

以上的对话，应该在日常生活上不会陌生的一段无聊对话。
我最最讨厌这种对话了~~
心里常常嘀咕：医生？是要医人还是为了那两个特殊的英文字母，DR？
OK, 我不能一直棍打时整船的人，
所以~我过了24年的冤枉人生~刚刚起步学医>.<
好像太迟了~又好像没有错。。。
就是这种矛盾~

今晚，发生了很意外的特发事件~
发现~
最可恶，最恨自己的地方，就是
如果我早点学医
如果我可以做些什么
如果我当时想到什么
如果我会
如果我可以做更多
如果我的脑袋没有空白
如果。。。如果。。。

恨我自己
非常对自己恨到了极点
我可以做的应该更多
如果，就因为我得那么多如果
眼睁睁的看这事情的发生
就只能担任七嘴八舌的八婆
恨我自己

太失望了
怎么到现在我还在发抖

可恶！！！

互相，冷静与理想

近日，和人聊天。那人总是觉得，如果要西医接受中医的说法，是个不可能的任务。我觉得，可能性是有的，因为目前，很多西医学者已经慢慢想吧中医里的学说渗入西医里，让两者互相弥补，互相融入，一起迈向同一个目标 为人类健康的贡献。

觉得两者各有优点和其缺点。我们不能每每只看到自己学习的优点和看到对方的缺点。就因为对方有优点，我们就需要向其学习。就因为对方有缺点，我们就可以以自己的优点弥补。事事上都没有绝对，也没有谁比谁更高一层楼；只有冷静的
永远把自己隔在圈圈的外面看事物，事情就变得更清楚，能从中学习的空间就变得宽阔。

虚心与冷静，是现在的必修课。当然，还有我永远必须提醒自己的，就是“少说话，多做事”!!

p/s: 我就讨厌人家没事碎碎念，从不先想自己还是问题的根本在哪里，就一直念，都先说别人错，然后很紧张。弄得我想冷静的脑袋很辛苦。但，可能，这就是我训练忍耐与冷静的最佳场地。^.^

12月份的幸福

每次每次
当我们收到礼物时
可能有种短暂幸福的感觉
但是，我们会忘了继续散播那幸福。

Sharing
是在这个12月份想要提醒每个人的一个重点。
12月份的圣诞
就是一个散播幸福的时刻。

互相不是一种理所当然
而是需要打从心里散发出来的自然。
互相不是一种礼节
而是一种爱的精神。

就从我摁身边的人开始
让我们把爱和幸福散播出去吧！
^.^

p/s: 我总是觉得自己太自私了~
加油吧自私鬼！！

科学与存在

不可否认，
科学的存在对人类带来了很多进步与发展
但同时，科学磨灭了许多科学外的‘存在’。

不了解
有很多科学家，特别是生物/人类/医药学家
就是很难接受神，或科学不能证明的东西的存在。
嗯。。。好啦~我也不是很相信神，
但，我相信有种很特殊的能量的存在>.<

有很多事，
就算是从科学研发出来的，
也会出现不能解释的某某疑问。
那~为什么就不能相信特殊有效的能量的存在？
或，为什么就不能相信古老/代代相传的密集？
这种特别，科学外的东西的存在，
就只能成为科学的绊脚石？

嗯。。。
也不能盲目的纯相信啦~
要试着了解，然后就会加强那相信度。

因为相信，
才有推动力。
因为相让别人相信，
所以想努力了解，努力分析别人的盲目与疑惑。
最后，希望能用最简单，最原始的方法造福人群^.^

懊恼

每每我都很懊恼
为什么我的嘴就是不能收敛一点？
十多年了~
我一次次的觉得对自己或旁人造成隐形的伤害
又一次次的警惕自己
嘴巴是时候收敛了
但~可恶的嘴巴~
它就是不停的吠>.<

那天去了中国的一个寺庙
虽然某种程度上觉得那和尚骗人
但 他对我说的：少说话 多做事
就一枝箭 直标我的心房

每次 在每个事件的开端
我都卯起来决定
一定要多听多看 把那该死的臭嘴闭上
但 已进入状况
我就会卸下心中的担忧
开始乱飚 那有的没的

哇~~
好~就。。。
算了~~顺其自然~~
但 还是需要收敛一点 >.<

上帝的礼物

九年前~当我还是一个十五岁的未成年小孩，
那时，身边的同学开始追潮流的追潮流，开始打扮的学化妆，开始聊天里多了谁谁有男朋友了，爱拼书的就继续猛K书，
而我在那时候已经开始做人生最后的准备~每天每天都只希望开心就好。
虽然，我不是的了什么鬼病，也不是在那年有什么忽然的生离死别，
但~那年是我回忆里很深刻的生命转角点之一~

那时，
我开始有些遗书的念头
开始学会每天醒来的呼吸，是多么令人感到特别快乐~
开始学会珍惜每一个生活的细节，就好比蓝天是多么好的礼物，大大的太阳是多么的美妙~
开始学会拼~

直到四年后的某一天，我忽然幸福的忘记那上帝给我的礼物，
忘了时间的重要性和那活着最重要最基本的意义~
两年后，上帝又给了我第二份礼物~
那第二份礼物，同样的也是要唤醒我那遗忘的第一份礼物。
直到不久之前~
我终于把两份礼物从新拿出来~
发现那再度的人生转角。。。

其实，
上帝给我的礼物很简单
那礼物是个在我身体不能被我忽视的种子~
它的存在是要每天提醒我时间的重要性，还有人生存着的意义~
直到某一天，
如果上帝发现，我并没有好好利用那份珍贵的礼物
或许~或许~~
“我”就不会再存在了^.^

谢谢你的礼物^.^

Beijing 2009

This is the 3rd trip of the year since the burst of H1N1 in middle of April, plus, the 2nd time I am down with flu since then >.<~ but still, I am alive ^.^

Ok~ talking about the trip. This trip to northern China is supposed to be "attending" a conference of "梁", our family name, which is held in 石家庄 (ShiJiaZhuang), about 300km south-west of Beijing. As our family is the only from Malaysia that attend, the organising committee provided us with the best. Oh ya~ not forgetting the SNOW we have once the plane landed on Beijing airport. It's a really rare occasion that one can see the whole airport, the runway, the plane, the control tower, all and everything is covered with white white SNOW!! hehe~ lucky me^.^ Meals in ShiJiaZhuang were an experience, where we have to fight like in an army, in which every1 will be given a metal plate and a pair of chopsticks, and then.....MARCH!!!! >.< style="font-style: italic;">.
The picture below shows our suite (from middle left most, clockwise), the ancestors of "liang", the conference venue, the temple of the "liang" ancestors, the army meal, and the parade to the temple in the city of ShiJiaZhuang.
After attending the conference, we process with our own sweet tour in Beijing. We started off with having handmade noodles beside our hotel, then, started walking about 4km from our hotel towards TianAnMen square, on the way, I found my beloved 冰糖葫芦 (BingTangHuLu)! It's a kind of fruit, coated with sugar. Now only I know, inside the "Men"(door) of TianAnMen is the forbidden city in Beijing >.<~ even after I walked in and out of the place, I didn't even realise that's it >.<, so, 2 places of interest down, one more to go b4 heading back. We went to the temple of heavens in a very small tiny cab, which is a modification of a motorcycle. The whole dimension of the cab is exactly 2 adults wide, 1 sitting height of an adult, and 2 back-to-back sitting length. And, I was all the way, sitting on my dad's lap all the way from the center of Beijing to the south of Beijing >.<. The temple of heavens is closed when we got there, we only have a chance to walk around the park, AND, the parks is really damn huge! Afterall~~China have all the land, and the emperor in the past really build huge huge HUGE stuff for his family's use >.<
The picture below (clockwise from top left corner): Syok sendiri with snow on bushes coz we were welcome by the 1st snow of 2009 when we landed on Beijing airport; beautiful scenery behind the forbidden city; the handmade noodle; 冰糖葫芦; Beijing city view; View outside the forbidden city; temple of heavens; and in the middle is TianAnMen square The next day, we followed a tour to the Great wall of China~ wish fulfill one of my dream~ nyak nyak~~ Now, thinking about it, I have been to 2 of the 8 wonders of the world (stonehenge and great wall) in a year~ so?? 6 more to go~ hahahaha~~~Ok~ back to the topic. It's a very rare occasion that I will tell some1 that I've been to China, becoz I think that if one nv have their feet on the great wall, any trip to China just doesn't count. It was really magnificent! No words can really describe all these wonders of the world, but only the emo that hits u once u see them with ur own eyes. Oh ya~ I always wonder~ wat is inside those huge blocks in between those long long walls.....erm~ u know wat I mean? haha~ nvm~ doesn't really matter~ wat matters is now I know wat I want to know ^.^
Next, we proceed to ChengDe, another city 250km away from Beijing. Erm~ this city, according to the tour guide (personal guide, which approach us once we step out of the train), it was a village-cum-forest in the past, until emperor KangXi realised that his army was not doing well in the war, and he thought of building a training ground-cum-summer resort for himself and his army, so that they might do better in war. Story....all in the picture.
The pic below (clockwise from top middle): 魁星楼, a taoist temple; punning temple, a Tibetan Buddhist temple; and 磬锤峰, a unique shaped stone standing on top of a mountain (which there's a saying, one that touches the stone will live till 130 years old >.<)

Pic below(clockwise from bottom left):XuMi temple, a smaller version of the Potala temple; Potala temple ( a replica of that of Tibet); and the highest status taoist temple in China, in which it was build for the emperor's uncle; and finally, in the middle, Roast duck^.^ yum yum!!I am back~
but, without souvenirs ^.^ only stories and photos to share^.^
Sorry la^.^

发现*我*

最近的新发现 >.<
我是一个非常现实但却活在自己幻想世界的稀有动物

说现实,是因为,我不论做什么都先想下一步
再加以B计划，因为我是个非常需要做好最坏的"如果"的准备。
现实到什么程度，就是分析事物很快，就连有谈恋爱的机会我都会把它分析的太过于彻底。

说我活在自己的幻想世界，是因为，
我所追求的人生目标，对大部分人，都觉得我很神经。
幻想到有时候，我会穿着朴素走在街上，然后发自内心地对自己笑，因为我觉得我是公主>.<
(我懂，我真得疯了~但，我疯得很爽)

我爸打从我小时候，就是我大概8-9岁时，就常常告诉我：你不要聪明反被聪明误。
事隔多年，最近，我爸他又开始对我说同样的一字不漏的：
我最担心你的就是，怕你聪明反被聪明误。
我自问没有很聪明，反而，我想要知道的想要学的，实在太多太多了。
世界对我来说，实在太精彩，太有趣了~
我父母打从我小时候，就不怎么管我，也不怎么担心我，就只有这点，就已把他们吓到不行了>.<

这故事，就是述说，
我从小就很会看人脸色，
很小就开始训练和我爸讲一些表面上看起来一点意义都没有，旁人听得一头雾水，
但是我和我爸都已达到一定的共识的一堆话。

我很小就很现实，懂得归类什么是比较重要~
还记得小学三年级，每个人都想把每样功课写到最好，
但，我已经在到处跑，弄我哥，玩到我哥被骂 :p
功课，我每每都不从交，听写默写每每偷看隔壁的，
但，年终考我的成绩永远名列前茅~
就因为我懂什么较为重要~超现实。
还记得，当年副校长气到来问我：我到底要给你个D 还是个 E~
我还有意识回答~E 好了~然后笑着跑掉 ^.^

但，我也常常活在我自己的幻想世界中~
我不会游泳，但就是常常会在睡梦中大游特游的，
然后，就翻下床了>.<
还有。。。还有。。。
还有就是。。。*不能说的秘密* :p
总之就是类似公主病类的事故~哈哈~~

下次想到更多再和大家分享^.^

United as 1

Received a message yesterday~
Its something like, asking the receiver to give comments about how to promote the spirit of united as one, according to the slogan "1Malaysia"

Then, the thinking bulb lighted~
Why do we have to think about how to unite the nation as 1, if we nv thought of being apart?

In the history,
the incidence of May13 is the only that shows greatest fight among races
and it happens like 40 years ago
which means, only our parents might know how it feels to be on that moment, and how the emotion of "hate" towards the others. Or, even our parents are not really involved, coz they are still too young to remember/understand wat is happening on that very day.

In present moment,
we, as the generation for building the future
does not really care wat your skin colour are, wat your mother tongue are or even wat country are you from~
to the extend that, some of us might have the idea and hope that we are living in "earth village".

My idea is that~
the question how to be united shouldn't be asked,
or even united as 1 shouldn't be a slogan
coz~ we are nv apart.

科学 Science - Part1

在我的记忆中，〈科学〉在小六时究竟入了我的人生，
只是当时，我根本不知道那叫做科学=.=
很清楚的是，小六科学考题问到：
月亮的圆缺，还有，鱼会游向光亮的地方。
记忆中，
中一的第一个科学实验：
就是很无聊的菜三个黑箱内的东西
中二其中一个试验：
切开牛眼睛
中二科学考题：
小肠所生产的 enzyme 有哪些
中三课文内容：
人体的各个器官(这记得很清楚，因为搬上那些人对第一科特别有兴趣，而我，觉得他们浪费太多时间在第一科了-.-)

升高中,
需选择商科或科学
不懂为什么想都不用想就选了科学
嗯..可能是那看到数字就会打瞌睡的毛病吧=.=
选了科学
科目的分类有：化学，物理 和 生物
化学还蛮好玩的，
就是在科学室内玩不同的化学作用~还有颜色的变化~太神奇了！
物理是最无聊的
可能，当时老师不太会教吧~
每次上课，就不例外的抄一堆到现在我都还看不懂的程式=.='''
最好玩的，就是我的最爱~~生物！！(只差植物~它根本就不是生物>.<''') 总觉得，生物也太妙了吧~ 很神奇~揭示了我最多的疑惑，就不外是生物。 所以，很理所当然的， 先修班，不经过大脑的就填了-->生物！

上了那么久的科学课
嗯。。。算起来有。。。最少12年了~
本小姐今年24~
也就是说~科学几乎占了我一般的人生^.^
但，很可悲的是
我到现在才懂得科学到底是怎么一回事
可悲~可悲~加可悲 x N

科学，
是一种生活方式
是一种思考模式
也可以说是个做人的方针！

因为，还在摸索 ING +.+
所以~~~

~待序~

老板命 vs. 苦力命

曾经何时，我哥曾和我老爸说：你就是苦力命~
但，我老爸可是一间公司的老板之一~
今天回想起来，
我老哥是个老板命~
但，他还是在一间公司打工，真想要逃离苦力中。

怎么说？
老板命，就是天生有那种命令他人，觉得他人需要做的事多的着，什么都看不下去，自己却完全没看到自己搞了半天，弄出了什么~ 但，老板命的人，就是不知怎么的，他们就显得外在很聪明。
苦力命，就是天生喜欢弄东弄西的，觉得自己要做的事多的着，看到什么就总觉得是自己的分内事，搞了半天，还是会被人嫌东嫌西的，但，就是觉得很满足~但，不知怎么的，他们就显得慢半拍。

有时候，我对那些老板命的，真的看不下去~
总觉得，有手有脚的，还长眼睛，干嘛最后只靠张嘴过活？
总觉得，每个人都身处平等的身份，又何必分你我？

能为他人服务
能为谁人伸出援手
能做东摸西的~
这~是多么大的福分啊~~

我虽是个公主
但，我在寻找苦力的乐趣^.^
可能因为这样，很多人，包括我老哥都不懂我何苦，觉得我是个疯子~
还好~老爸懂我^.^

鸡婆

读书读到有点闷~
手，情不自禁的按着滑鼠~
按着按着~
看到一篇文章
虽然，那文章我一看过了
但，在重看一次
发现，我原本以为只有我才有的，
已经真真实实，完完全全的不属于我了。
可能，一向来都不属于我，
或，那特权，根本就不存在，
就只是那活到24年了，还是活得太天真的我，
才一直相信那是一个属于我的童话。

太鸡婆了~
读书就读书，闷就闷，
干嘛按电脑？

太天真，
可能是我唯一的优点，
也有可能是我最大的缺点。

继续疯下去
可能就能被掩饰
疯下去
可能就会快了些
疯下去
可能就活得精彩些
疯下去。。。疯下去。。。

哆啦A梦篇

刚看完哆啦A梦电影版。。。超感动的！！

里头有一个很有意义，能表达现代人的“战争”的一个小故事：
〈从前从前 在一座很大的城市里 住着许许多多的人 有一天 出现了自命不凡的人 说 这世界是自己的 之后 其他的城市也 出现了几个自命不凡的人 开始争夺世界 争夺变得越来越激烈 最终世界开始燃起战火 从天而降的火苗快把一切都烧尽了 这时 从泥土中出现一棵大树 保护了这个世界剩下的人 因为大树的力量 世界在一次复活了〉

还有，就是觉得世界上要有像大雄这样的人存在。虽然他每每考试都拿鸭蛋，但，它是个天才，是个纯真的天才。因为，每一个题目都努力的回答，真的很难拿鸭蛋。就因为它的纯真，他那怎么叫都无法洗脱的纯真，所以，他的答案永远是不能被那些被社会污染的人了解。也就因为它的纯真，他从来不问他所作的事有用吗，或是成果会是如何，他只知道他能做的是什么。

超感动的！！！
让我两把鼻涕，两行眼泪~
强力推荐-->大雄与绿巨人传！！
推！推！推！^.^

可怜的爸妈

有时候，真的觉得，我爸妈很可怜。
我爸妈都很努力的从零开始，一直拼命的赚钱，省钱，和教导我和我哥，现在，他们应该在于安乐，过无忧无虑的生活~
但，到头来，我和我哥都变成做我们喜欢做的事，没有真正的做所谓“有前途，有稳定生活”的事，让他们还是看不到我们真正的未来。还好，我哥已经结婚了，算是有点稳定，有个属于自己的家。而我~还在努力开创我的未来，还在花钱，还是个什么都没有，只有一股热诚和拼命的朝向我非常喜欢，可以过我人生的目标前进。
虽然，爸妈什么都没说，任由我们去做我们喜欢的，但。。。我就是只能觉得他们很可怜。。。然后。。。就只能继续努力拚努力为我的目标的路铺好最好的基础~

好像~~最近。。。我很多感触~
可能，我给自己的压力是个很好的压力吧~

p/s:最近在吃药调理我的肝脾胃~感觉~有点效果了~昨晚睡得蛮好的，虽然还是有一点辗转难眠，但，希望吃完明天的药再把脉应该就会好很多了^.^

疯子！！加油！！

心里的火

最近心里的一团热腾腾的火！！还好，这次的火没有被冰水一次次的淋灭。很值得高兴的是，这火被一次次的加材加碳，让我心里的火越烧越猛！！

每次有劲/心里有一团火，都会睡不着，想着怎么让我自己的每天都在进步当中度过。事事如果可以做到满分是我的目标。不是因为要给谁看，不是要跟谁比，也不是说考试是最重要的。最重要的是在这行，错误/失误是不被允许的！当然，我还是个人，一定会有做错的时候，但，也是好事，错误中学习，但至尽量错在前头，错在小事！

很累。。。要维持那团热滚滚的火团，真得很累。。。
有时候，因为这样很懒得在我晚上停下脚步，休息的时段跟人家解释我在干嘛，或很简单的人与人的沟通，我都觉得太累了，很烦~~

很累。。。但是，只要晚上睡一觉醒来，隔天早上，又是个充满活力的一天！拼下去！！尽量学，尽量做，尽量吸收，尽量成长！！拼下去！！

很累。。。真得很累~~但是，因为我喜欢，因为它是我的梦想，因为。。。一切的一切都很值得， 所以，累得值得！！

就让我继续冲下去吧！！
火啊！！不要轻易让人熄灭！！
拼拼拼！！！
冲冲冲！！
加油！！疯子加油！！

好累~~~睡了！

天公疼憨人

又做了一件很恐怖，很可怕的事！！
我竟然。。。竟然。。。竟然。。。上了一个陌生好心人的车！！
还好，他真的是一个很想帮人的好心人~要不，我小则小命不保，大则上明天的新闻头条-->先奸后杀=.='''我竟然会做出这样神经病的事~我真的事各的的确确的疯子！！
天啊！！怎么会有我这样的疯子出现？？
虽然，我已完整无缺的抵达宿舍~但回想，真的还心惊胆跳！
阿弥陀佛！！
感谢阿拉，感谢主，感谢天公，感谢天上地上所有的神明！！

梁家仁~~我中了梁家仁的毒~~只活一次，疯狂的活一次毒！！
谢谢梁家仁！！
哇哈哈哈！！！我疯了！！

*疯子笔*

天啊！

天啊~又是一个可怜的夜晚。
我那所为开创自己的新王国的目标，恐怕又要提前两三步了~要不，我身边的圈圈越来越恐怖了！

ok~回归原本~
为什么我到后来选择中医，而不走向西医的其中一个最重要的原因与目的，就是要从事零费用，零物质的高等优质健康品质。然而，就在这时候，我身边忽然掀起一股高费用的高等优质生活风。天啊！！这快把我逼疯了！！想逃离，但，这是我永远脱离不了关系的地方。希望，事不关己，无所谓的埋头于无谓与向目标努力迈进的事物，会让我完全专注于我定下的目标勇往直前！

已经疯了，就没什么好可怕的了！
坚持做自己吧！！
加油吧疯子！

090909

Today should be a memorable day~ 090909, 9th day of September, 2009. It's only once a life time, once a millennium kind of date. Something special happened this day of my life (not really special, until, I attended it, and feel with my heart, the importance and the meaning of this thingy).

The event: White coat ceremony~ its a ceremony where the faculty members + dean and INTI president, put on the lab coat from INTI on us, the students of medical and health science faculty. We, as the pioneer of Bachelor of TCM, have the great pleasure to be the 1st to receive the coat. The importance of this ceremony, it makes me realise, the importance of the lab coat, and the lab coat is not just a piece of clothing^.^, it's a representative of entering the professional field of medicine, which reminds one in the medical field what is their role towards the society in near future.

Talking about pioneer, as the dean of fac of medical and health sciences put it, we are, as in the eyes of the government, we are actually representing TCM, in the sense that if we fail to keep up to the standards of learning, not only TCM in INTI collapse, the whole TCM thingy in whole M'sia will collapse. So, its the stress and burden that is on all of us, 4 of the students in our class, the dean, the lecturers and all supported this TCM.

With this stress, and huge block of responsibility, this makes everything even more interesting ^.^
It keeps me moving...YEAHH!!

oh ya~~ HAPPY 090909^.^

Self isolation

I just found out the main reason of me still being "alone" in some sense till now. This is because....the fact that.....I tend to isolate myself away from ppl, considering those ppl are those that I know, or I don't know.

I have the tendency of keep myself away from ppl, but I don't mind if ppl approach me. Weird rite? I just found that out myself last night. It's like, for example, I often go shopping all by myself, and I am used to the feeling of moving forward in a fast pace, and put on reverse gear when i see something that attracts me, then continue to accelerate forward. Also, it's like, I tend to move thru ppl in a very fast pace avoiding any eye contact with ppl, like....seeing thru ppl, instead of observing their faces. I also have the tendency of moving thru ppl without touching their body, by "compressing" my body, squeeze thru ppl on my path.

I found this tendency of mine when I analysed my involuntary body movements yesterday, where I tend to sit on single seat without realising y i do that; I tend to concentrate on my own stuff in a sudden, moving into the imaginary world of my own; I tend to move too fast that it's like, I am trying to make myself isolated; I tend to love the quietness and peacefulness of time being all alone in the territory of my own...etc...etc...

I know this kind of tendency is not a good 1. I have to learn how to be socialised (but I already know how to do that=.=), but in terms of bring the real self under the sun when socialising, not for short term connection, but a long termed true connection with ppl.
I have improved in sharing, but...there are too much that is connected to sharing. This, self-isolation is something that I need to get rid of, and learn the opposite form from A to Z.

Need a short nap 1st =.='''
Nitezzzz...

爱

爱，是一个很让人又爱又恨的东西。

越爱，伤得越深。就算是一个非常小的事情，哪怕就只是那一句话，哪怕就只是一个不悦的表情，都会让那爱的人伤得很深很深。

哭，不能解决事情，什么事情都不能解决，但，泪就如台风天的雨，豪无休止。
眼泪已陪伴我超过十二个小时，但，我就是无能控制它。

生气，也不能解决任何的事情， 但，他就是能希望掩饰和表达心里的想法。
生气已陪伴他有十二小时久了吧， 我知道他想什么，但，我是觉得，有必要这样气吗？

我懂，子不教父子过。
他觉得，养成我和我哥的这幅模样是他的过，但，说真的，我们真的很乐意接受任何意见，我们会用那意见改善我们自己。

没有错，谁都没有错。在我们家，谁都是不会有错的。因为每个人都会有它的一套道理，所以我们的家才很特别。

爱，很烦，真的很烦。 我曾经有想过不要爱，就世界只会有我和我自己，但，在我们出生的那一秒开始，我们就一定会有爱。所以，在我已经真的决定我要的，是包含着爱，所以，我不能有任何怨言，接受爱。

我在我说我着地时，我就已经代表要拥抱着这爱，在有这爱和温暖与幸福中迈向我的未来。我不想飞，我不要飞，我真的已经不想飞了。

理智

理智对我来说，是一个捆着我的圈圈。

我很想在公路上飚车，但我的时速还是保持在70-80间。
很像喝了整瓶的咳嗽药，但我还是倒头就睡比较安全。
很想哭个呼天抢地，但觉得会吵到别人。
很像到海边坐着无聊看海然泪自然流，但还是不要出去丢人比较好。
很想和人家打一场痛快的架，但我怕痛，怕伤痕。
很想把房间翻个凌乱，但明天要打扫很麻烦。
很想叫，但想起来很像疯子 。
很想把心里的话都说出来，但还是要婉转的收回，或选择当没事。
很想在外兜风，但还会想说会浪费车油。

我知道，我有的自由实在太多太多了，
但是，就是那么简单的事，有必要把他搞大吗？
我想做的，我几乎都有得做，
但是，我真的知道我自己在做什么。
我伤了你吗？
但你有可想过，你的每一句话，每一个神情对我来讲是多么的重要。
我从来不想骗你，因为如果我要是骗你，你会一点都不知道，但，我就是选择不骗。
说你逼我？又不能这么说，因为我从一开始就说不要，很婉转的说不要，但，刀子最终还是到心坎了。从来，我没有兴趣完成的，如果我还是做了，成果一定很差。这，我很了解，所以，我做什么都是以心作标准。

OK，如果是我伤了你，我很乐意说对不起。
但，我的伤，尤其是小孩的心理，一伤就是一辈子，我自己会承受与医治，再加以自己辅导。
无所谓，因为，我知道我已经很幸福了，所以，一切，只是要让我反映我更幸福而以。
无所谓……真的无所谓……
继续做自己^.^

回顾人生

在生活里，很多事情是我们怎么想也想不通，怎么努力坚持

也不会开花结果的~

最近，我去了很多地方，见了很多人，学了很多，也想了很多很多……发现，我停在空中太久了。忘了从什么时候就开始骗自己，骗自己，也已经是一种习惯~不管身边的人说什么，我总是坚持做自己，坚持骗自己，坚持飞在空中，想太多，梦太多！

以前，我的生活中是那么的顺利~小学中学到先修班我的生活中是不用太尽力就成绩就在我的expectation里面，没有起伏，就过着还好的生活。先修班念完，又那么刚好没什么事干，又刚好有拖拍，就这样混上大学，然后，顺利竟如我所希望要读的科系，到中段突然莫名其妙的分手了，然后专心的好像很拼得过完我大学的最后一年。毕业了~又顺利模糊的进入某公司做了半年工，发现，我的未来需要开创一个更好的路，而不是模糊的，莫名其妙的活下去。浪费了人生的前1/3在看似永远的幸福与好命当中觉得，我的生命还有时间TAKE 2。我还有本钱，但时间真的非常有限。 TAKE 2 的意思就是奋身下去，没有的回头，没有得马虎，没有得像以前的那种悠闲~

不要，也没有时间给我发梦和飞在空中~我人生接下来的下的阶段，就一定要是丰满的。。。
有点开始老了~看到的，听到的，做过的，疯癫过的，迷糊过的，我都曾经有过。

”不在乎天长地久，就只在乎曾经拥有“是我曾经回答我友人的答案。。。人生，生活，就是这样回头是为了警戒与学习，但是，在大部分时间，还是要向前看。嗯。。。很好笑的是曾经，我告诉我自己千万不要向后看，免得看到那愚蠢的自己，还劝告友人过一阵就会习惯了~ 简直就是在放很毒的屁！！

老了~我真的老了~
回顾人生=.='''

不啰嗦了~END!

我只是个小孩

其实，很多时候，我都不知道“你们”大人在想什么，虽然大部分时候，你们都会解释给我听，为什么，什么人生的道理，什么叫沟通，什么叫礼节，什么叫尊敬！ 但，我还是不太懂。。。

人生的原理，我在学，在努力改进我觉得该改的地方，就比如：我觉得我有点自私，所以，我尽量舍弃自己的舒适与生活方式，让身边的人得到舒适。就比如：有人说我处理某事有不对的地方，我就尽量学起来，尽量记得，下次做得较好。其实，就还蛮简单的，基本就是，要先自己反省，不是先向别人有什么错。

沟通的原理，我在学，在努力让我自己不会突然进入自己控制不到的不理性；在努力在沟通里学习与成长。在沟通里，心是很重要的。两方的心需不上锁。其实沟通的基本也是很简单，就是多听少讲；听，不是就这样让“话”进去，然后用原文来攻击说话者。“话”与“字”是需要被翻译，被消化，被了解的！知道为什么人脑跟电脑差很多？因为人脑有超过于50 million 脑细胞，而，每个脑细胞与几千其他脑细胞沟通与联系。电脑，要跟人脑相比简直就是没得比。 但，就是有些人太过于崇拜电脑与科技，而忘掉自己的脑的存在。

礼节的原理，在社会学的课本里我又学过；人的行为举止，是要融入社会大众所接受的范围里。就算有个人的见解或个人的坚持都是以社会大众的标准为对或错的标准。个人的标准，不足以构成某社会的礼节，虽然它可以演变成礼节/对的事，但，在这当下，他就是不对的。

尊敬，是做人最基本的需求，需要被尊敬，同时，更重要的是需要尊敬他人。有时，人就是会被蒙了眼，看不到别人，只看到自己，然后自以为自己没有被重视。其实，打开视野，打开心灵，曾几何时，你可有重视过他人的存在？

结论：
我只是个小孩，知道的并不多，懂得很少，但，我知道学习是无时无刻的。
我只是个小孩，很多事我并不懂，但，我还是得会，得懂，得学，要不然大人们就会不停的开打。
我只是个小孩，我不懂，我不会。。。但是，我被夹在中间，成为大人们的翻译员。
我只是个小孩。。。可能就因为我是小孩。。。所以。。。就酱。。。要见人讲人话，见鬼讲鬼话。

p/s: 在打着文章的同时，我又出了句名言^.^做人，不是不满意为什么别人不能在我的level讲话，而是要自己调整自己的level，和不同level的人讲不同level的话~ 酷吧^.^

再次强调，我只是个小孩~我只希望大人们都比成熟 =.=

Sharing

I just somehow doesn't like to share anything with any1, even though sometimes, wat I expressed outside is "ok", "no problem" or "watever", I just don't like the feeling of sharing with any other ppl, coz I have my own way of doing everything my own way, of my own style.

HOWEVER, its nothing to be proud of, and its that I am aware that this kind of feelings exist, and its part of things I need to overcome, and learn how to share everything with any1 with an open heart.

Well, how do I say I don't like to share things with ppl is such a nuisance, that I, myself think that I should correct myself.
For example, I have something that I wasn't using for quite sometime d, but, if its still within my eyes' reach, I think that particular thing have to be used my way, unless it have no place in my brain and my heart.
Another example, I don't like any1 touching my stuff, coz I think after some1 touches, it, its dirty d. Unless, its within my control, and I grant the permission.
Another more serious example, if I see something I love a lot, but if I can't get it, and some ppl gets it, I feel I've been robbed =.='''

I know I have a very serious "disease" within, and that is y, I am trying to learn how to share. So, 1st of all, I need to share my unusual sickness + madness.

Feel, understands, accepts, learn, corrects!
Hope I can make some changes with my bad habits =.='''

男女平等

男女平等这东西根本不存在。
因为男女本来的生理结构就不一样
男女本来就是世界归类以个人的方式
人第一眼看到的，就是你到底是男还是女（就连打字，也有“你和妳”）

男男女女~
很复杂，很乱，很烦！
就因为你是个男的：
- 所以你要学会换灯泡
- 所以吃饭的钱，你出是应该的
- 所以逗女方开心是必要的
- 所以中的东西都该有你做
- 所以就算多么不想，面子还是最重要的。。。
就因为你是个女的：
- 所以你就得做家务
- 所以你去哪里都是危险的
- 所以你太厉害反而人会觉得怪怪的
- 所以你就得要有男方给你的开心，你才是完整的快乐
- 所以你就得卑微的接受男方的要求。。。
太不公平了！！

老天一定是在对世上的人开玩笑
要人在这不公平的世界寻找平衡
要人再这么不公平的世界寻“快乐”
要人没办法，卑微的容忍与接受一切一切的不公平

每个人在不公平中生活都有自己的一套
有些人，就一口气吞下那能容的大肚
有些人，就用自己所拥有的优胜点咆哮别人对他的应该
有些人，就一直一直在寻找那不可能的平衡点。

所以啊~
我就说~
独个儿最好。
没有你，没有我，没有他。

p/s: 可恶的“$恶$魔$”又在作怪了, 难道世界就是不能有真心的体谅与复出吗？
*不知怎么的，不管我的事，但，我就是很失望~心有碎了*

心脏病

心脏不好的人注意咯~
请不要靠近我家，
要不然，心情的起伏不定，
像坐360度地在90度的过山车，在时速200公里，
每天上上下下地不停不停转动。

加油！！我的心脏~

人与人之间的感情

人与人之间如果关系越亲，就越复杂

人，就是很喜欢自己的圈圈
有些人就喜欢画圈圈在自己的身边
有些人喜欢把圈圈越画越大
有些人的圈圈有刺
有些人的圈圈却看起来似乎很大，那圈圈里却有隐形的圈圈

。
这些圈圈都是保护自己的方法
怕别人知道自己在想什么，
怕别人看到那脆弱的自己，
怕那原本的自己被看穿。

沟通，交心， 是人与人连线的必备，
但，在沟通与交心的同时，
常常会出现所谓的：反话。
最后造成了误解与心痛。
很多时候，就是那天时地利人和作怪
但，我还是觉得，沟通和交心是重点中的重点。

p/s: 所以我的圈圈"们"就很小，以避免不必要的麻烦，但，麻烦还是会有=.='''
还有，我就是特别特别怕看到或听到人哭或生气，特别是很亲的人，让我觉得，我好像做错什么，或少做什么了。

Adulthood

To be an adult is nothing simple.
Responsibility cannot be avoided and they make ur shoulder heavier each and everyday.
Choices have to be made, but there are too much consideration around every choice.

For me, I am too childish to be an adult yet.
Too self-centered to be bothered about wat others have in mind.
Too much freedom to be bonded by any rules and regulations that I can't commit.
Too ambitious to be standing at where I am standing now.

Life is too short to be afraid of anything.
But, there are too many ppl, that are lives in the darkness of scare and phobia.
Life is too short to be somebody that makes other ppl happy.
But, there are too many ppl, living under the view and opinion of other ppl.

Enjoy~

决定了

Sometimes, things can't be just like wat u always expect them to be.
Sometimes, u just can't do things the way u wanted to do.
Sometimes, u have to act in order to make things less complicated.

在我的人生字典里，我不允许“害怕”这字的存在。我的人生，非常不可或缺的是“潇洒”。
每当我有“害怕”的感觉，就算是一小点，我都会睡不着吃不下。
每当我需要做任何决定/选择时，“潇洒”是必备的条件。

我的字典里，没有不能，只有要与不要。
人生有很多时候需要做选择，
事情的大与小，自己的心要如何心安，憎恨与原谅。。。
都是自己心里已经有数。

所以，经过我今天一整天的思绪挣扎，和很多人聊天，
终于~我得到了一个结论：没有什么好怕的+做潇洒的自己+朝选择的目标迈进。

昨天，我吃了个Fortune cookie~它蛮显灵的：To be angry with somebody for 1 minute, is to lose 60 seconds of happiness^.^

制之于死地，而后生

在我的生活上有着一个循环着的规律~
像似一个又一个山形的起伏
这种循环是好的
因为它让我不会忘我
不会得意忘形
不会因失落而有偏激的念头~

每当我知道我自己在倒霉期时
我不会因为霉运当头而愤怒
因为，我知道，
这个时期是让我
学习和成长，
或知道自己到底成长到什么程度。

每当我知道自己好运是
我不干涉求有更好的~
而是把握这种美好的享受
但在同时，我也不忘做心理建设
让自己又坏的准备。

制之于死地，而后生！

P/S: Don't mess with me!
Coz, I dare!
Be Afraid! Be Very Scared!

老天是公平的

老天是公平的~
因为它不会给你所有的一切
就算你要的一切是多么的简单
就算你的一切只是很小很小的世界
它也不会给你一切~

但如果，
你的世界就只有你一个人
你的一切的一切就只包含你
那~
你的一切的一切就会如你自己所愿
因为，你已经放弃了所有，来完成自己~

老天是公平的~
就算我要的有多么的简单，
他也不会给我那最简单的
因为，我已经有太多，太多了~
:'(

没有要什么

曾经~
记得我十六岁生日时， 我哥刚好是第一年进入大学~
那时，我好不习惯第一年的生日没有他的胡闹~
有刚好~不只是什么假期~
我爸兴致勃勃要驾车一路从槟岛到马六甲~要去找我哥
很高兴很高兴~
终于可以有个简单但完整的生日……
但……但……
有我父母俩，再加上我一些亲戚~
哎……
事情总不会像我想象的那么完美
结果，生日是在KL庆祝~
每个人都好高兴~
买了个蛋糕，很多人为我唱生日歌~
但，我就是不觉得有什么是值得高兴的>.<

可能，从那时候起，
我就学会了~
不要要求太多
该来的会来，没有得也不用想什么多余的事~

问我在某某时候想要什么？
我真的没有想要什么~
因为我知道，自己的高兴，是需要排在最后~
如果这样，
当自己的高兴指数忽然被他人抬高一小节，那时，就会很高

兴，很高兴了^.^

English

English is not everything!

At one time, I have the thought that think that English is a language that carries status, class and standard~ and that without English speaking/writing, means no standard or low quality.

Now that I understand, and learn more about more societal levels, to have the grasp of English is an advantage, BUT, it's just not everything (unless, that is the ONLY language u communicate with ppl).

English, in lower societal level seems to be something great, highly recognized, and respectable~ but in higher societal level, ppl that are fluent or that have some standard of English education seems to forget the presence of the lower level, and that those ppl with "English" think that those ppl without "English" MUST have English in their life.

It's just not true~
We have to greatful about wat we know, ALSO, at the same time, the "disadvantage" of other ppl should be taken into consideration, don't think only for urself, but for others !

ENGLISH IS JUST NOT EVERYTHING!

Remember who u are!
Remember where is ur root!
Be greatful!

问题

问题一：本是同根生，相煎何太急？
只要是对的，又何必争你我？
谁对谁错？
又何谓对？
对错在于方向！而不是执著，或跟随！

问题二：少数服从多数？
多就代表普通？
少就是奇怪？
有时，情况并不那么简单！
有时~人总需要静下来想想~
没有人会是世界的中心！

害怕

不知从何时开始~
或是我天生就这么害怕~
我害怕的点？很奇怪！

害怕: 钱~
害怕口袋里忽然多了一笔钱
就算是每天辛苦工作转来的钱
老板分钱时,我还是会感觉拿到那钱很奇怪
但是，我知道钱重要~没钱不能活
但，就是很奇妙的感到害怕 =.='''

害怕: 美~
总觉得美是有就有,没有就随他
害怕那天是自己美了,然后又忽然成不美了
就很奇妙的害怕 =.='''

害怕： 爱~
总觉得爱很难控制
害怕不知何时被遗忘，被冷漠
害怕不知何时被捧上天，就因为会被踩在脚下
就很奇妙的害怕被爱，也很怕给与爱 =.='''

害怕： 期待~
总觉得做人就不能太期待
太期待会让人失去更多更多
害怕期待后受到的那可怕的伤害
就很奇妙的不对仍和事情不抱有期待~ 就因为害怕 =.='''

害怕： 宁静~
总觉得宁静很恐怖
宁静很没有安全感
害怕宁静里的尴尬，害怕宁静里的不安， 更害怕宁静里的胡思乱想~
就这样莫名的害怕宁静 =.='''

就这样~
害怕~
因为我不想失去
所以害怕~
事事小心~ 事事害怕~

短见 vs. 远见

人生本来就不是那么好混的~

就因为“你”一个人觉得：
“你们告诉我如此这般的，我把他完成，就相等任务成功！

如果一切的一切都是那么简单
那~或者就很废。。。很废~
再来，就是人类的脑袋的存在根本就是一种侮辱！！

是的~
我的人生根本算不上有什么考验
也算不上有什么很大的烦恼
可以说是无忧无虑~
不用烦明天打开眼睛有东西可以吃吗？
或是明天会下雨/太阳太大
或者明天就一分钱都没有。。。之类之类的~

但~也不可以因为如此的生活而不必/不想相信“远见”这东西~

对~
目标很重要~
但，达到目标并不相等成功
就因为世界，人生不是那么好玩的！！

“你”懂了吗？
觉得你还是一样~
从来就不觉得，也不知道自己错在那里~
还有~
你这样说话~你可有想过？
你只顾虑到自己是否OK，是否我的生活很简单？
我们的感受如何？
你身边的人的感受如何？

p/s: 世界没有一个人是个体，也没有一样东西是个体~
Please~~有点远见好吗？证明给大家看你已成长好吗？

想

有人曾经说~〈想〉是个很可怕的东西

想~
会让人误入歧途
会让人蒙蔽了眼
会让人失去思考的本能
最可怕的是~想~会让人以为自己是世界万物的中心

想~
有好有坏
关键的是自己的思路有多清楚自己站立的点在哪~
还有~就是自己活着的目的和那生活的立场！

昨天的那一件小事
让我发现~
我需要为我的目标与立场下点苦功
没有任何一个人是错的~
也没有任何一个人是对的~
就只有拿自己对目标与立场的坚持与抱负~

加油~
相信我会用那最短暂的时间达到我所下的目标~
但~在同一时间不会忘记我的本与立场！

p/s: “本”这字~又是另一个故事了~

To Be Continue ^.^

我很牛

嘻嘻~牛年快乐！！
首先，让我来介绍我最喜欢用来描述我自己的一句话：“我很牛”

“我很牛” 这词在我的描绘里包含了很多元化的意义~

1，就因为我属牛，所以它就是表面上的意识
2，我很任性~任何人都拉不动，拖不走，打再大力我也只会战在原地“哞” (有牛的七成功力了吧？：P)
3，我活在我的世界~我有我吃草，慢慢的咀嚼；我有我大马路上大摇大摆，慢慢的行走；我有我做事的Tempo，节奏离奇古怪，但~我就是爽！！
4，我有我没理性的坚持~就算大家都说我是傻子，疯婆(就算是刚认识我一个月的小妹妹都这样说>.<)，我还是坚持做我喜欢的，用我自己的方式活着 ^.^
5，。。。。唔。。。。唔。。。。想不到了~

总之~我就是很牛很牛~
就像是。。。周杰伦的：我的调调 OR 我很 “尸+吊”

我很牛！！

P/S: 如果我会作刺青~我的手臂会如“图”^.^

Dream

Dream~
A name that keeps life meaningful~
A noun that keeps one motivated~

A dream that is easily achievable is nothing that gives satisfaction~
A dream that is nothing but a dream gives life ended nowhere~
A dream that is non-achievable gives one nothing but worries and stress~

Limit, Threshold and Daring are the three components that needs to be grasp to realise a dream~

Do u have a dream?
Do u dare to dream?
How close are u to ur dream?

开心就好^-^

哥：你就这样做那工，赚那点钱，你甘愿？
我：甘愿啊~
哥：干吗不用你的科学知识多赚点钱？
我：我就这样轻轻松松的~ 很高兴啊~你不高兴美吗？
哥：我高兴啊~
我：高兴就好~我赚多少要你管？
哥：。。。。。

幸福就是这样~
快乐就是这样~
无忧无虑的~
喜欢做啥就做啥~
不用被不必要的东西梆着
不用担心或心烦等下还要做这做那的
很累~

终结：
我就是高兴~
就是快乐~ ^-^

子欲养，而亲不在

虽然，我双亲仍很健康~活泼，可爱~有时却很气人~
但~我忽然有种莫名的害怕与担心~

害怕~
害怕那种如果~
想象他们如果不在我身边的那时~
想象如果我需要面对的时候~
想象如果那天来了~我该怎么办~

担心~
担心我没有尽到我该尽的能力~
担心我错过了可以付出的时刻~
担心美好的时刻过得太快~

可笑的是~
我除了害怕与担心那名言的发生，我什么都没能做~
尽我的努力与付出，却害怕我失去我所有的能耐~

记得爸所过一句话~
爸：知道为何我每每做啥都被骂，被嫌弃，但，我还是继续削苹果给你妈吃~做东做西给你们吗？
我：为啥？
爸：简单~就因为一个字 -- 爱！
我：。。。
爸：因为有爱，所以做啥都是一种幸福~不是辛苦，也不是累赘~

我爱你们~
但~我有我爱你们的方式~
我爱你们！！爸~妈~ 还有那最顽皮的哥~

新年快乐！！

人人都说：新的一年，新的开始！
但，如果没有空无一物，心无杂念，何来开始？
呵呵~可是~我做到了^.^

我的2009年的开始~
是在于安稳的睡眠当中~
整整睡了11个小时！！
没有倒数，没有烟花，没有亲朋戚友，没有电脑，没有手机~
就只有我~还有我^.^

就因为我的2009是一个超级"零"的点~
所以~我的人生就在此时真正的从 0 开始^.^

p/s: 还以为关机睡觉醒来时会有一拖拉库的简讯, 或是msn信息~
结果~什么都没有^.^
真的一点都没有失望~反而~很开心的有一个最真诚的开始^.^

2009 新年快乐!!

看破世情

为人一生来世间，能为职责尽了愿，
儿女长大心皆满，其无他求日夜间，
夫妻本是同林鸟，大限来时各自飘，
各造业罪各自了，不为情缠得逍遥，
人来世间如梦境，家庭分明是妄心，
亲族本时宿恩怨，冤亲债主尽团圆，
业债还尽各回转，了尽冤债自清闲，
父母子女宿业就，皆是宿世结冤仇，
今生痛苦通要守，债务清还身清幽，
仇债清还因缘了，妻夫各个东西飘，
一切因果皆自晓，自认命运烦恼了，
世间圆满是暂时，生离死别各奔驰，
再深情份无上比，弹指之间即过时，
本来命运一个人，后来慢慢选结婚，
家庭几年热滚滚，再过几年东西分，
人生在世是瞬然，富贵名利是因缘，
幻化因缘时转变，空无一物归本然，
奉劝世人勿哀怨，生离死别众过关，
古今人人皆回转，来世为人刹那间，
本来就是受空空，出生落地成一员，
父母辛苦来支援，养到长大任务完，
家家户户各有经，好坏各个说不清，
人间本来叫苦境，快醒快吾免伤心。

~ 典壁尼嘛 仁波切~

家

“家”
一个对我来说很重要很重要的字~

对外人~
我可以以不理不睬
或是~一点都不放在心上
但~一扯上家我就会一路追到底

痛彻心扉~
是我不久前才深深体会到的感觉
就是一种比与男/女朋友分手还要痛的感觉

怎么说呢？
就是~ 一种让你又气又恨，又疼又爱，又同时担心与失望~
喉咙里卡着一颗不上又不下的一团热热得球状物~
一种想哭~但，有哭笑不得的感觉~
一种觉得他人很不会想，但又觉得自己是啥东西的感觉~
一种~连听你最爱的音乐，做你最爱的东西都在痛的感觉~

嗯。。。。当怒与哀交际。。。
当烦恼加上不安。。。
当泪水加上一团气与不甘。。。

明明~
一切的一切真的与我一点关系都没有
但~
就因为一个字：“家”
而打乱了我人生的步伐~

我只能告诉我自己~
这是上天给与我一连串的考验~

勇敢地面对~
不逃避~
挨过了，一切的一切都是我的！！

。。。

今夜特别宁静~
是因为大家都醒了？
还是因为大家都还在冷静思考？
还是~大家都在压抑？
还是~大家只是不要再开始吵闹？

希望一切的一切~
大家都会长大多一些~

=.='''

无所谓

高兴的~我无牵无挂~
高兴的~我什么都没有~
高兴的~我无所谓~我真的什么都无所谓~

小孩成长的过程经过一连串的教育
所谓的教育，不一定需要考到第一名~
所谓的教育，是要建立一个人的人格，创造一个“人”~
这就是所谓的 input!

从教育之中~
很重要的一点就是：Socialisation
Socialisation 的意义在于：教导人与人沟通的规则
这规则就像。。。有红绿灯。。。
让人知道红灯时停，绿灯时走~
教导人会看什么是人生路程的红灯~什么时候是绿灯~
虽然红绿两者很简单~但， 有人就是想偏掉。。。
我把它比喻成闯红灯。。。
闯红灯~很有快感~很舒服~
但，它致命！或让你死不去（这才恐怖！！）

社会~
它有它的Rules and regulation~
但~不要忘记~
附加的条件还有Terms and Conditions apply~

人~就是有欲望~
比如：我要的东西很多~
但，我不能任性的说要就要~
我不能不则手段去要~ 也不能逃避~
想办法去得到，从 terms and condition 下手~
律师所谓的： law也是会有漏洞的~

人生~就是这样~
它是一个考验~
它是一个相似Survivor的游戏~

To Live or To Die~

我真的真的无所谓~
因为~我要大家都快乐！！

科学洗脑篇

话说~前天晚上：
---
祺：我觉得~你的整个set和我朋友的整个set不一样~ 他要得和你能给的得不一样& vice versa
华:你为什么要把事情搞得那么复杂? 你读太多书了啦~ 世界上不是每个事情都像科学的程式, 还有set还有这，那的~
---

所谓的科学，就是教导我们生活的方式~我们生活的每一点，每一滴都是科学的创立品！！
在我的生活方式里~analysis/analytical mind 就是出于科学的程式~
So~~我有一亿五万个为什么 ^.^ 任何事/物，我都会问：为什么？？

Example of 我的为什么：
- 为什么人要找另一半？到最后，又这样辛苦，又为了什么？？
- 为什么人总是说一套做一套？举例：常说要活在当下，但，却忧虑那看不到的明天/晚年？？明天还会醒来都还不知道，为什么要忧虑这么多？
- 为什么人人要成为unique的~ 但，就是要放弃自己的固执与坚持，变成他人所希望看到的？
- 为什么人要去八事不关己的事情？
- 为什么一个人就相等孤独？她那一个人就可以与世界联系，要那么多麻烦来做啥？
- 为什么别人就活得好好的~你要为他洗脑？你有何着数？ 分享？屁！
为什么？为什么？为什么？

我就是个怪人！你拿我怎样？
说我太过于固执，导致别人不是说不过我，而是不想再跟我讲？so? 就是因为道不同，所以不相谋！
说我觉得自己很聪明？ 嗯~去问问认识我的人,我除了讲笑假厚脸皮时说我聪明外，其他，我都再而三的强调我是super idiot!

所以？结论？
我是科学怪人！
WATEVER!

家教

一个人的家教很重要
不管你身上穿的，拿的，吃的是否是名牌~
或不管你身份高或低~
不管你贫穷，富贵~
如果没有家教，
对我来说，你的一切一切都属零！！

好比说：
你把你女儿送去学芭蕾舞
两年后，她学成，
拿到全国第一~
但， 她总是对你不理不睬
对你一点基本的尊重都没有
礼貌，对她来说，完完全全是个陌生的词汇~
那~~她那第一，有鬼用？？

又好比：
有个人身份，地位贫贱~
但，他懂事理，
有礼貌，有家教。。。
那~这人是否比例子一的那个她值得我们尊敬？？

总之~
家教，教养，品德~
还有，个人的人格比任何物质上的东东来的重要！！

压抑

可能~
我已经习惯压抑自己
压抑已经是种习惯
习惯到。。。我有时忘记我要的是什么。。。

压抑自己
自己所要的都不重要
重要的是
每个人都快乐
身边的人都可以被满足~

其实，我快乐吗？？
嗯~现在有点模糊~
有时，觉得世界上该有的我都拥有
不该有的，我也有了~
那~我还要有何要求呢？

是爱吗？
还是~那只是家人和朋友给我的压力？？
要爱有错吗？
没有要爱也有错吗？

混乱了~
我到底要的是什么呢？
我在压抑吗？
神啊~请给我一个可以与我分担的人！！

龟论

人与人的沟通真得很复杂！
硬碰硬，结果会是两败俱伤，再嫁祸于他人~
强遇弱，结果会是弱者被伤的很严重~
当某一方作出改善，将心比心，为他人着想，他/她就会被另一方欺负~

龟论之沟通篇：
你不动则，我不动
你要害我，我缩进壳里
你偏要弄我，我偏冷静
万物之变~我以不变应万变~
冷静，冷静，再冷静~
忍，忍，再忍~
我已最冷静的心理，应最苛刻的万物~
表现最自然的自己~

龟仙万岁！！

初生之犊

Qi: Sometimes, I felt bad after I talk a lot~ especially after telling ppl the anger and unsatisfactory in me, or after a long talk about someone I have stories about.....
Pipi: If u have a blog, there is nothing to fear of to tell somebody anything.

Sometimes, I just feel....not right~ felt bad bout talking too much~ afraid that I might hurt someone, or make someone angry, and that's the only thing I am super afraid of. These few days, it seems like, I am mentally a bit stressed out, and even when I am asleep, I have all things and plans working in my brain~ so, its kind of mentally very tired, and if this is when I will say something that haven't went thru my brain, and then, I will feel bad about it =.='''

So~ the best thing is that I keep my mouth shut, and its really not ok if ppl wanted to get me start talking, coz....something bad might happen to u, or, to me~ Its like~ I haven't been having nice talk with my parents since last wednesday, and~ tonight, I have been talking non-stop since almost 10pm to almost 12 midnight =.=''' But, this kind of situation is still controllable, coz they are my parents and that they know me super well enough that I can't really say something wrong that will make them angry with me, or anything that hurt them. On the other hand, since I have been working since like 2 weeks ago, so~ I am quite afraid that I might say something wrong to my colleague, made them angry, or beh syok with me~ I am really Sorry~. Maybe~ as I have been telling myself over and over again, to keep my mouth shut! Unfortunately, its really very hard, but I should start applying the "Keep my mouth Shut" theory=.='''

Ok~ wat is the初生之犊about??
犊can be literally translated as a calf, a young cow
初生之犊means a newly born calf~
That describes me very well, becoz I am born in the year of cow/bull, in which, I am very cow/bull, as I always describe myself, coz, a bull will only move a little if some one whipped them once. So, a bull have to be continuously whipped, so that they can get work done.
I am a calf, which have no fear of what-so-ever. Whatever comes to me is "Ok", "No problem" and I will try my very best to get things done in a very cow/bull"ish" way. The only problem in me that I need to improve is my temper, my mouth, my stubborn"est" and learn how to coorperate and live in group.

Quite a lot for me to learn~
Hope that with my attitude of "No Fear", I can overcome obstacles in front of me.

自私

昨天，某朋友call我~
聊着。。。聊着。。。
他问我说什么时候有空去喝茶，或出来走走
我说，不得空~
就算有，我也会留下来做我自己的事~
其余的，再看我要不要拿出来给朋友~
再看是什么样的朋友。
他说：做人不可以这样自私的~
以前，我只有一张厕纸，
我朋友要用，我也先给他。
我说：那是你的事~
我总觉得，
做人就得先想自己
在把别人放进来~

嗯~我承认！
我自私！！
但，如果我自私的很快乐~
我自私的不伤人，不害人
我自私的把我觉得是我氛围的事做好
那，我觉得自私是件很好的事！！
这样的自私，
对我的健康，我的人生有很大的帮助，
那~何乐不为？

我自私~
但，我很快乐！
吹咩！！！哼！！BLEK!!

忍

有个友人告诉我，她忍无可忍了~
嗯~ 我就说~
既然回头了选择已下了，
就只有忍！

我人生唯一一段感情~
就是这样~
忍了又忍，让了又让~
就这样，
换回来的是：分手！

说起来~
这样的结局到目前为止，我觉得。。。。
可能过太久了吧~
我对感情事有点麻木了~
对于我所付出的，不是没有回报
因为~感情是互相的。

所以~
我就送了我那朋友一个字：忍！
要不，我的想法就是：
人，为什么要这么犯贱？皮痒？
活得好好的~
没事要找事来烦？？

结论？
还是：忍！
要不？
就是让自己麻木，事不关己~
不能活？
我还不是好好的~高兴快乐的？^.^

工作 vs. 做工

已经工作超过一个星期~
但，在我脑海里的我从来没有当工作/做工 as a 必要 or a 需要
工作/做工对我来说是一个。。。怎么说。。。
是个人生的一个过程
是个经验累积的程序
是个学习的旅程
是个精神上的训练。。。

刚好，今天，薪水的一天~
可能使我不当工作是为了赚钱
或，可能我从不当我所付出的所有需要回报
或，可能我做事只要有人肯定，对我来说就是最好的回报
当我看到我的 payment slip~
我很惊讶~
为什么会得到如此多钱~
我到底做了什么？
高兴的~回家告诉我老哥我赚的钱好多哦~
他看了看我的 slip,说：
虾咪！你每天做工就这么少钱？
我说： 就是这样啊~ 我的工作就只能赚到这么多~但，我很满足^.^

Expectation~
当一个人从没有对任何所付出的要任何物质上的回报~
满足感会让你活得很高兴，很幸福！！

忽然觉得我很酷
做人很潇洒~
或许
许多人或许会问我：
你就赚那 <鸡水甘多>，你可又想过你的未来？
你够花吗？
储蓄呢？
嗯~~我的回答？
人常会在书写上说~<<活在当下>>！
所以？就酱^.^

空

色既是空，空既是色。

万物从无中生有，从万物生空~

空，是一个做人的最高境界~
空，是个必修课
要达到空, 就需<无你, 无他, 无是非>~

虽然, 我对事事都事不关己
但, 活在这万物都很重要的世上很难~
因为, 思想上静
但, 心是血肉合成
很难静下来~
当思想与心不能合二为一
构成<乱>, <烦>

要坚持??? 要配合???

Post-Industrial Society

Living in the post-industrial society, information is wat ppl sell, buy and need. The importance of information can be observed even at home, where all family members have their eyes locked to the computer screen, hands on keyboard, and sharing of information thru mouth, without looking up from the screen ^.^

The flow of new information is so great that no1 can actually know everything and is "smart" enough that they know everything, coz even if u know something at time A, at time A+ 1 second, information found might be equivalent to rubbish/nonsense, coz its outdated already. Hence, we humans have to be humble in learning/listening, eager to learn and absorb new information and not to be greedy to want to know a lot of things, otherwise, wat u get is just not applicable as well.

What info this post suppose to send over is~ mom, even internet is very interesting, rest ur eyes~ don see silly silly stuff, ok? ^.^

Time Factor

When we have all the time in the world, we tend to have the idea of "lets just let things be done tomolo". When we have just little time to spare for some work, we tend to have the the idea of "y do we want to accumulate so much work until now?"

When our time is "free", we just donno how to take control of the situation, make use of every seconds of it so as to make life work in a smooth flowing, proper way, until we got stuck in a corner, having only just minutes to spare, then, suddenly~ all planning "machinary" in our brain come into action just like that!

I am born in the year of Bull/Cow, in which, as it is, I need to be pushed or forced, then only I will take one step ahead.
For example~ it was ages since I last have my toilet+wadrobe properly tidied, and the whole place have spider webs, dust and some dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure cloth alone. But, when my cousin, staying over at my place say that the whole place is "dirty", then, I start to brush the whole place with a TOOTHBRUSH!! TWICE in a week!! =.=''' Which means, I am that kind that do things to its best when my body start working, but won't even move my finger tips when I am not in the idea of doing anything.

Well~ I can be considered......determined~ as in.....if I want to do something, it will be close to perfect (coz, I am not a 100% person); or~ as in...if u ask me to do something, and I say "OK", means, the thing will be done on time, no matter wat on earth happens.

I M One of a Kind^.^

应该

在这世上，没有谁或什么是“应该”的~
举例：
有人说：在读书是启用父母的钱是应该的
或：某事情应该是行走A线，B线是不可以的
或：男朋友应该位女朋友做某某东西
或：男女有别， 某男/女为另一个性别做某事是应该的
No....No.....
世上是没有如此这般的应该！
如果，“应该”在我们的生活当中占很重要的位置
那~是不是该是时候反省？
反省啥？
为什么某某应该跟着你想象的路线走？
为什么别人就应该做某某？而你~又做了什么？

应该？
世界上就是没有应该
只有人类的自私，傲慢与自我中心！！

Cute tortoise at home

Hiding in a tiny shade

Nemo, the tiny fish and Squirt, the turtle >.<'''

Good Enough

Sometimes~ one might think/feel that he/she is good enough to do something, and that they are able to handle something to its very best. However, nothing on earth is that easy as in words. Lessons have to be learned and applied, but it all depends on how fast things are absorbed and analyzed. I am quite a slow learner, where I don't actually absorb things when they 1st came to me, but over a period of time, I will get the whole picture, understand, learn and never forget.

In this fast pace world, no matter how fast one learn something, one will never be fast pace enough to be good enough. Information flow is faster than the speed lightning, millions of new information is send across the globe millions of times every single minute, and no one will ever be good enough.

My solution for my case?
To be beaten, evaluate, work out, then becoming stronger.

Erm....wat will I do now?
Hanging on the net, play, eat and sleep! =.='''
After all, I am the one that is desperately in need of something, but earth still work on its own path no matter I exist or not.

Nitez!!

Rainie day

I've been missing like ages ago~ Just drop by for some typing exercise^.^

It's been raining since the dawn of Monday till evening of Tuesday~ Erm....raining is not a big deal, but I am quite scared and worried about flood. Now~the thermometer shows temperature of 24 degrees, which is almost the normal temperature of Cameron Highlands^.^ Loving that, but...I am still sweating =.='''

Another thing is: Sometimes, some little thing just provoke me, make me want to smack u in the face, but~ wat I did is to use words that I meant to make u know that, it's just not the right way to start off a conversation, or it's not a right way to converse with ppl. However~ maybe I don't actually say things directly, coz: firstly, I am not any1 to tell u that, coz that's ur own attitude; and secondly, it might be just me and myself, who just don't like the way things go.

So~ the conclusion??
WATEVER!!!!

Sounds like Dad

Suddenly~ after the phone call with my younger cousin sis, I feel I sounded like my dad.

Erm....how should I put it.....well....its kind of~ when u are thinking more, or considering more than ppl younger than u, and u feel like its your responsibility to analyse thing for them, but at the same time, they have to put that analysis into real consideration.

And~ now, I can catch a little bit of how my dad feels and wat is going in his brain when he is trying to convey something to me, while at the same time, I am making fun of the whole conversation. It feels like....I am talking serious now, and wat I say is for your own good~ y can't you think for yourself and analyse things in a rational way, and some more I am the one having increasing blood pressure and analysis piled up in my brain~ while, u are making fun of wat I am saying =.='''

Sorry dad~ but I am really big enough now that I can settle things of my own myself. When situations are in the safe side, I will do things by my own independently; and if things are a bit serious, I will go to my bro for help, and if things are really serious, then only I will seek your opinion. But, of coz, I will consider things well enough, that I won't consult u only when it's between live and death.

Ok~ back to the topic....well~ I already did wat I could~ and I have carried out my responsibility with the best effort I can.

Aih.....it's really hard to be some sort of parents or guardian~

天真

有时候 我还蛮天真 蛮容易骗的

就好比 心情低落时
不管谁人是否真心的问候我 我都会超开心的
然后 当心情平复下来 新血来潮 打开电脑按一按
原来 只是~ 一场游戏一场梦^.^
不过~还算OK~
至少 还可以骗到我这天真的白痴
让我高兴一下 没有继续陷在不好的心情里
谢啦！

嗯~
还有就是~
有时 朋友或谁人跟我讲些有的没的
我都会相信
然后过了大概一个礼拜 才恍然大悟 --> 被骗了啦！笨蛋！！

就是这样~
我有点白痴 慢两三拍 神经病。。。
嗯~ 可有听过：
天才与疯子 只是一线只差？？
是的~ 我就是那疯子！！
哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~

天使 vs. 恶魔之战

我的世界里
住着三个不一样的我~
《天使 。 恶魔。 “我” 》
每每到了考试
三个我就会开打
续千年前的三国战~
天使~总要我努力奋斗尽我的全力打到底~
恶魔~总要我无所谓 自暴自弃 懒散~
这时“我”就出现了~
“我”就是不喜欢被强逼做东西
所以，“我”对另俩的抗压法就是：
我就做我的~你管得着吗？哼！

所以，结果肋~就是~
半桶水 + 还好 + 就酱 + 堕落 + 无一是处！

加油！！人生的另一个阶段就靠这个礼拜了！！
甘巴跌！！

The truth and nothing but the truth

Lately, the trend that is spreading all over on everything named on earth is "the truth". Everything named on earth includes, entertainment industry, politics, relationship with people, technology.....erm....almost everything~

Of coz, lies are still said and done, and those lies are lies that we know that its a lie by itself, and we know that it is "for our good" and "their own good". Some are acceptable, but some are just sickening.

With the fast evolving technology and network, making human connection so far, but yet so near, how long do u think a lie and remain undetected, unseen, unheard and unknown? Words and doings are all over the net just minutes after an action is taken. There is a saying: "The spread of words is worse than the spread of disease", and now, we have everything on our finger tips, so, anything one say, is a "pandemic", spreading around the globe.

Erm....as I say~ its a trend now, that the truth is wat ppl wants to see and hear. Lies are just disgusting in this trend (erm...that's wat I think la~).

HOWEVER, how much truth can one bear?

p/s: pls help me out with my 1st poll^.^

Accusation

I think I am quite an easy-going, no problem, "anything", "whatever" kind of person~ but~ when it comes to accusation, question or suspect wat I have been doing or wat I say, that is when the fire in me flame and the blood in my veins boil.

I am that kind that if I say something, I will surely do it~ if I leave some doubt between me and the things I can achieve, this means I will try my best~ and if there are words I play around with when I answer your question, means I make it the easiest way for you to understand wat I am trying to send across by not directly hit the bulls-eye. In short, I do and say only things I have serious grasp and control, and all that come from me are with serious consideration with a full length of plan and effort in them.

The thing is I am not that kind that say A and do B or C~ or that kind that promise you to get things done, but ended up I send you an "737"~ the only condition is --> remember to note my word, coz every word counts, either I am playing with words, having doubt in the accent or between words, or I am making a direct hit (a statement).

So~ with that, I would like to end with --> I hate being question or being suspicious over wat I said and done, or being accused!! Another thing is~ I am very particular in words, sentence or accent of any conversation, including SMS. Every little thing counts.

p/s: trying to relief those few incidents in one blog~ *Phew*~

恍神篇

我的人生有许多活在恍神的世界的时候。。。刚刚恍了一下，突然， 灵感来了, 写了一个RAP短篇：

<我有我的调调 我活在我的世界 通过各个媒介 想像我的未来 我的未来 一直我很期待 期待奇迹的精彩 让我们 make a wish~ PEACE!!>

哈哈~ 酷吧！

We and "We" as one

Lets begin with a note: let we as plural, and "we" as singular.

Ok~
I heard a song played on tv just now....its about being one/to be one/living as one~ and i was a bit curious~ erm....if we are one, then....are we different or we are the same?

We are individuals that are unique in some sense, coz....erm....we are born having a brain with different "inputs", but "we" are one becoz we are living in the same sociological, geographical, historical...background.
The curiosity is~y are we always being encouraged by slogans, songs, and brain input that we have to become "we", BUT, when "time" comes, "we" are always being told that "we" are actually we?? (a bit complicated huh?? That's my main idea^.^)

Being educated, have brain of our own, having thought to have our own analytical and brain power, we always thought that we are as in "we", until "we" are told that "we" are actually we. So~ the point here is --> do u actually want us to be we or "we"??

"We" are one, and one have the power to do anything!!

Love from parents

Dear mom and dad~

I know you guys care for my safety and my well-being so much that you try to think on behalf of me. For example, analyse situations, or predict future, or see things I do in your eyes, and then tell me y I shouldn't do such things. That is good, I love that~ coz no other people other than the closest family members will tell you straight to you face that u are stupid to do such things.

However~~ all things said by any1 on earth are advice, and the final decision lies on my hand. So, from wat I hear and get from all of u, I will have to analyse them wisely, put some into action if I am wrong, and put some into the drawer of "advice" in cases I think I am right~ After all, I know my life better than all of you, coz, I know and understand where about I am standing, who are the frens I get together with, wat I do and why I do that. There are always reasons for something to happen, and something I do.

Don't worry too much~ I understand, and I do analyse things with my brain~ BUT, of coz, advice, love and care are never too much~ so~ keep sending me advice with statements, PLUS explainations^.^

Love,
Your cute daughter^.^

Target of life

If~ there is no such system as point or percentage in life, what will be your target in life?

For example, if there is no such thing as a 100% or 10 marks for the test or exam u are taking, wat is the target that u aim for, so as for u to be grateful, and happy about it?
OR
If there is nothing as in how many percent u will get in something u do in your work, wat is the target that you aim for so as to make u strive?
OR
Imagine there is never been an invention of numbers, or alphabet, or even currency, wat is the target that you might aim for in your life, "living", not "surviving"? (living means, u live your life to the max; while surviving means, just pure living with air, food and the necessities)

My target?
Just one word, "song"(in hokkien/canton), "syok" (in malaysian term) ^.^
Well, its just all about pleasure and enjoying myself in things I do^.^

放弃

有时候，觉得社会有太多的诱惑，让我觉得，“放弃" 是最好的出路~

放弃，是舍弃原本的我~
放弃，是拥抱最简单的人生~
放弃，是迷失自己~
放弃，是追求人生的另一段路的开始。。。

我渐渐离开原本的梦，
渐渐拥抱最简单的人生，
慢慢的迷失自己~
开创着另一个人生的目标。。。

借口成了我的伴侣~
堕落成了我的人生~
放弃成了我人生的路途~

我还生存着~
但，我还活着吗？

Badminton Finals (Olympic)

At last~ the 1st medal for Malaysia in Olympic 2008~
21-12, 21-8

Though its a bit disappointing, with all those mistakes made by Lee Chong Wei in the match, but seriously~ Imagine carrying hopes and pressure from 24.8 million people on your shoulder~ its really tough!

Ok~ back to some comments to be made.
After 7 years of life in badminton (if not mistaken), Lin Dan became "handsome"er than that I 1st saw in years back, with the body tone and stuff, well~ I guess he gets all the appreciation from the country~ Getting back to Malaysian (with Lee Chong Wei, 6 years of battle on the court)~ after so many years of struggle on the court, erm....I mean....we can see the difference in the whole image of our player.
Well~material support really make some difference~ mentally and physically, as to say.

To End:
CONGRATULATIONS MALAYSIA~
SILVER@.@

P/S: Lee Chong Wei is currently ranked 2nd in Badminton and Lin Dan ranked 1st according to stats.

Stupid me~

I was talking to some1 about my future and wat I wanted to do after my final exam~ when I found wat I actually need to do during that period.

In my imagination, there are so much for me to catch up with my life after I end the whole Biomed thing. E.g.:
1. To learn languages, for my future usage.
2. To get my body moving, by signing up for some aerobics or dance class.
3. The most important thing, to support my own life, by getting any job, related or unrelated to my field of study, as long as I can get money for me to sign up for courses and for my food.
4. The super important thing, is to strengthen my foundation, by reading things I missed out during these 3 years of study and EXAMs.
5. At the same time, searching and getting ready to fly myself to my target^.^

Will I be able to fulfill my imagination?
I am not very sure bout that....coz....the more I know about life, the more I think I am stupid and such an idiot.

Suicide

Sometimes~u just feels like killing urself, and end everything or make everything happened unseen, unheard, and un"remembered".
Sometimes~u just feel that u are such an idiot, which cannot reach either end of the line in life.
Sometimes~u just feel so tired that u wanted to sleep forever, and never wake up ever again.
Sometimes~u just feel there is nothing more left on earth that makes u feel living is great.
Sometimes~u just feel life is so hard~ where u can't be too much of urself, and u can't be too pretending, even standing neutral is a fault.

Everything happen~ and they carry good reason behind them to happen right in front of our eyes. Its just how u interpret the meaning of things that happen. As said in sociology, the things that happen itself is not bias, giving one good thing and another the bad. Its just the person that interprets the situation/event that make things complicated.

How am I now?
Not really good in some sense~got a huge bucket of ice water dump onto my head right to my toes. See grey, black and white on everything I see now.

The good thing is I am still conscious, and still have my analytical mind intact....

I AM WHO I AM!!!

腻

本人，算是一个很容易对某事或物觉得腻的念旧之人。。。

怎么说呢。。。
就是~有些事，不能出现在我的眼前太多次，因为。。。 就是：闷，腻。。。
有些梗，不能玩太多次，因为，很没点~ 简称：老梗！
有些话，不能出现太多次， 因为， 玩多了就显得：无聊， 很假！

就是。。。。。
反正，就是那些我心情好，又无聊时， 我会陪你玩一下下，然后随便打发你走； 心情不好，还有东西在脑子里时，我会突然爆发，炸得你体无完肤，管你去死！

拜托~不要整天丢老梗！
我受不了啦！！！！

p/s: 锵锵~~误会就要在此诞生了~~ 嗯。。。*无言* 就。。。有点对某事。物。有点腻~就酱~~

Convo

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Congrats to all my frens who just graduated early this week, or during these few weeks~ great job in getting thru obstacles on ur journey in getting the 1st ever degree of ur life^.^

1st, I need to apologize for not being able to attend the convo of u guys, where ever u guys are, UM, USM, UKM or UPM~ coz I am really quite in the "pek chek" time zone. My time is packed with assignments, reports, presentations, future....etc...etc.... there are too much for me to get done. I know~ they are all excuses, that I made up for myself and for u guys to forgive me~ Sorry~

The thing is~ I am that kind that easily flood my eyes.....so~ that's one of the reasons I don't really like to attend such events, unless its my big bro's thingy~ or family thingy that I can't exclude myself out. Though I know that I will get back wat I did to others, by having no 1 at all to attend my convo in the end~ but its really ok:D coz that makes the "touching" event minimise to its lowest extend.

So.....wat I can do is....congrats all of u out there thru the net~

Have fun guys^.^

七分

人常说~吃饭时，吃七分饱就好了，既健康，不伤胃，又不会爱睡。。。嘻嘻~后面是我自己加的 :p

我把这道理融入了做人的道理~ 做人,做到七分就OK了 ^.^
然而, 我懂~ 你们都会说: 既然有本事做到一百分, 为什么要停留在七十分? 能做第一~为什么要当第二? 为什么做人不要拼完, 半途而废? 为什么要少人一截?
Ok~ 其实,道理很简单~ 当第一不是最好的~ 他只是名好, 地位好~ 但~人生短短几十年, 那么辛苦, 那么拼~ 然后错过了很多美好的风景~ 那....我宁可不那么辛苦, 不得到最好的, 不做第一....

七分的人生其实很简单~ 就是~ 普通~ 不是最好, 但还享有差不多的优惠人生~ 努力, 但不拼~ 简单, 但不单调~ 简称: 笑看人生~

在我这年龄层会想这些....嗯.....好像不是很对的时机.....但~我就是这样^.^

Middle-man

Being a middle person is just not as easy as it sound~ a lot of patience is required~
The 2nd thing a middle person should have is trust on both parties~ To have to constantly make promise to both parties, a strong trust have to be built in the inner self of the middle man~

It's really quite frustrating sometimes, that I have to make promises I myself can't even convince myself that something I promise will sure to happen. The most frustrating and most annoying part is not having to make promises, but, is to be constantly being "reminded" again and again and being asked the same question again and again after I risked my "face", promising u something.

I know~ it's sometimes hard to 100% or even 80% believe in some1, but, the thing about frenship, and teamwork, is to have trust in every1~ no matter wat u personally think about the other party, u still have to have trust in them, as in cooperating as a team, reaching for the same goal.

I have all patience on earth~ but at times, its just very annoying being a middle man, having to please both parties, talking sweet to both sides, trust both sides, while keeping the team intact prevent it to fall apart.
It's really tiring, annoying and frustrating~

Nobody on earth is an island~ if u can trust no one but urself, how on earth are u going live a happy, contented life? I mean~ maybe that's not wat u are trying to achieve in ur whole life, but then~ isn't that sad that u are nv happy bout things, nv have trust, and is always tensed?

Another thing~ if we can do every simple thing on our own, y want to be the commander and king of the world, seeing ppl running around doing something, while u stand there commanding and giving orders?

Mirror

Humans~ they are nv satisfied in wat they have, and they always see that other ppl around them have better things than them~

As said~ everyone have their own story behind they appearance~ I have my own story behind mine also~ We will see, y ppl around me can live their life so peacefully, like all happiness drop on their head instead on mine? We see, y ppl can have all luxury in life, but mine sucks? We see, y some ppl are just talented, plus, they have the prettiest faces than ours? WHY???

There is a saying by my auntie:"don complain bout the ugly shoe u have, wait till u see ppl without leg" (erm...something like that...I forgot wat she said d :p pai sei)

My qoutation of the day: When humans meet other humans, they will see wat is good in them~ when humans see themselves in the mirror, they only see all those negative self. So~ wat do u do? buy a new mirror!!! Then, start off with the new mirror by seeing all the good sides of urself ^.^

I know~ its very hard to do that~
but~ life is all about a process and a journey of learning that never ends ^.^ peace V

p/s: 本故事纯属虚构， 如有类同，敬请多多包含^.^

Imagine

Imagine~
In a cool night, at 27-29 degrees celcius~ with breeze carrying aroma of leaves, trees and flowers~

Imagine yourself having a stroll in a garden, filled with greens of nature~

Imagine, walking in the garden, outlook the beautiful building with lights in the night~

Just.....imagine having a walk in such a beautiful night in the garden^.^
wat a waste, that I can't go out so late at night on my own~ enjoy the beauty of nature~

y is it that night everything become beautiful~ that air became fresh, and a simple thing as a walk in the garden became something so great? coz~ its so hot in the day, that everything under the heat of sun become ugly. :p

Maybe nobody understands my imagination well enough~ coz~ i know, my english sucks...but in summary~ it will be sooooo nice to have all those things, garden, lightings, and a small walk ^.^

Who's fault?

Here's a very abstract post^.^

These days, or I should say, months, I was very fed up with news, and happenings around~ anything and everything doesn't really bothers me, and it doesn't really concerns me, even though I stay in this particular place at this particular time, wat happens in this area doesn't really involves me~ as long as I can get my things done, and do wat I need to do on time, on place.

Many might be on the same boat with me, blur about wat happened UNTIL, there is these ppl, "protecting our safety" and in the name of "security" come into action, then~ I come to know wat happens, and I am quite heart broken, or should say~ lost heart in "everything" and "everyone" which involves in that "P" thingy.

Y want to make things look complicated and serious, also~ to make everyone's life miserable?
I still remember, after wat happened in March 8, I came back to KL, taking a taxi driven by a Malay~ I asked him: Encik, ada kecoh kat sini tak? He replied: buat apa kecoh? kata betul~ kalau buat kecoh, bukan kamu orang susah, semua pun susah.

Well~ as ppl, we won't do things that break our advantage. So~ who are the ones that "protect benefits of the ppl"? Its we, as the citizen and the ppl~ y? and wat is the use of the "G" thingy's existance? Well, everyone have a part to play....

Seriously, did the "A" thingy made a fuss? or the "tut" "tut" the "tut"?

p/s: I am still young and pretty *vomit*, so~ there are a lot of censorship here :p

Organisation

There is a sharing of story in lecture today, quite interesting:

A 10-year-old boy ask his dad 1 day: "wat is politics?"
His dad replied:
"I am capitalist, as I brought money home"
"Mom is the government, as she controls the finance and things at home"
"grandpa looks over things, and he is the union"
"the maid is the working group"
"we look after u, hope to give all the best to u, hence, u are the people"
"ur little brother is the future"
The dad then ask the boy if he understands it, the boy says he will think about it over the night.

In the middle of the night, the little brother produces something on his nappy and cried, the boy doesn't know wat to do, so, he went to his parent's room, and found that his dad is not in the room, and his mom was so deep in sleep that his presence was not noticed.
He then decided to look for the maid, and he found his dad in the maid's room, enjoying himself, having fun with the maid. And his grandpa was peeping through the window, and didn't do anything. So, he went back to his room, cannot get the problem solved.

The next day, the dad ask the boy if he now understand wat is politics?
The boy answers: YES!
"The capitalist abuses the working group"
"The government was sleeping"
"The union was only looking, but did nothing"
"The people is ignored"
"and the future is in the shit"

The moral of the story?
My version is~ wat we have to do is to fulfill our own responsibility, at where we stand, and no other things actually bothers or is in our concern^.^
Make ur version of moral out of it^.^

*无聊* 篇

咖啡，星星与考试的共同点？

提示：一个字^.^

p/s: 我有够无聊的.... :p

Time Machine

There are 3 days in our life: yesterday, today and tomorrow~
It is said that yesterday is the past, tomorrow is future, and today is a gift, that's y it is called "present". But is some's eyes: yesterday is a lesson, today is how we apply we learned, and tomorrow is wat we are striving for.
To me, there is only 1 day in my life: u cannot change yesterday and u cannot predict if tomorrow still exist, so~ there left only Today! well, in some sense, there are still 3 days, but the other 2 are only virtually exist.

p/s: sorry~ once u gave me idea to write something, or to talk on a topic, I can't stop half way, even u tried to stop me~ so....here goes all thoughts in my brain~ sorry, "u know who"^.^

Here goes:
Things are like that, past are very hard to be forgotten just like that, because it already happen, and it is part of our history, and is imprinted in the book of our life. So, the main point is, wat have u learn? or just just use ur ego and "blindness" to cover it up, and pretended it never happened b4?
I pretended b4~ and its just even harder to make things work for life and stress just pour in like fountain. So, wat I did is to open up, become invisible, till even ppl that just know me for few weeks can tell that, my past still haunt me~ So wat? life still goes on, earth still turns and circulate around the sun. To go back to the past is impossible~ wat we have is yet to come.

As I always say, life is a miracle~
Well, and that now, my life is full of fun^.^ Every experience counts~ even a small insect has something to tell us, e.g. one day, as I was having a meal with my fren, there is this fly beside my plate~ i observe it a while, then I told my fren: wow~ the fly is cute, it just brushed its head like doing a dance, and my fren goes "swt" =.='''~

And to "ur" experience~
Luckily u are ok~ it really shocked me when u told me that......well~ sorry that I am not that kind that knows how to express how I feels, my sympathy, or my concern quite well~ that's not my thingy. But I am really glad that everything is OK~

As said, everything happens for some reasons^.^and from 1 situation that happens on 1 person, it actually taught that person a lesson, and for the listener, I also learn something from there^.^

Regards~ and best wishes for all my frens out there^.^

No brain

Please~ be considerate~ or even have common sense on things.
Don't act or do something to other ppl that u don wan ppl to do the same to u!
If u wan to act no brain~ see who is more no brain~ me, or u?
If u do something that make me wake up at the wrong side of the bed, i will make ur sleep be as miserable as possible! After all~ I always sleep less than u~

Time to revenge!!! don make me reach my limit of patience!!
Wahahahaha!!!!

Sleepless nights~

I've been having 2 consecutive nights without deep sleep, with all sorts of nonsense dreams~ erm~ and y am I still awake after that 2 nights? coz, I have had 3 cups of tea today, and the caffeine is driving me crazy.
I have had tremors, feels hot the whole day, and my neurons are non-stop firing!!

Some thoughts have been running in my brain lately~
I kept saying ppl don't have a specific stand point, and they don't know wat they are doing or wat they want~ However, I am sort of that type myself also :p I'm so Sorry ^.^
Y? because I love doing a lot of things, and everything interest me....from astrology to mechanics to medicine to finance~ and I kept changing minds on wat I will pursue in my future~ and the choices seems to be infinite....
Well~ I know I dream a lot~ seeing things in its most perfect way...but in actual fact, I am just nothing, not standing on both extremes, not the best, nor the worse. Erm....seems good rite? standing in btw? NO!! coz I am going no where and I am not good in doing things of the both extremes, and my stands and thoughts keep on changing, going no where in the end.

In my eyes, I see other ppl's potential~ I admire them, and I wanted to learn things they are good at from them, but sometimes, I became jealous of their talent and suddenly felt deppressed. Its like~ y are ppl "gived" talents and I am like, good in nothing~

Hehe~ I know y~ Coz I am Miss "so so" (差不多小姐）^.^

Ok~ enough of nonsense~ back to work^.^
Nite Nite!!

考试

很讨厌考试~但，有谁人会不讨厌？

我讨厌它的原因在于：我喜欢读书，但，我看的书，就是看了就算，学到东西，高兴就好~ 但是，就因为有考试的存在，所以，就要在准备的当儿，抱着那几张烂纸，翻了又翻，看了又看，读了又读，背了又背。。。只有一个字可以形容整个过程： 闷！

学海无涯~ 但，活在这世上，要生存下去，能融入社会，就是那一张又一张的纸~ *无奈* 要做一个普通的人，就要跟着社会的规则走。
所以啊~ 要做自己喜欢的，就要付出 + 牺牲！ 把一半的时间给社会的规则，在一半给自己~ 往往，我们都把那剩下的一半都睡去了~~可悲~

累~ 有时，真被那规则给打败了。 我们就是一直一直的付出，牺牲~ 但，时间久了，我们静下来， 分析了一下~ 我们做了这些，值得吗？我们搞得自己那么的累，值得吗？

很累~~但是，这一个星期的无聊与懒惰也该够了~
继续~ GO!

My Birthday^.^

I was a bit disappointed when I 1st woke up in the morning because I have only 2 sms in my inbox....I was disappointed not to any1, but to myself~ coz, this is a sign that I only have 2 best frens that actually remembered my birthday~
Now that I know that feeling, I will try my best to remember my frens birthday, tag the dates on my hp, and get them to see my birthday wishes 1st thing in the morning^.^

But, after I got up from my bed, grandma called, and that's the thing that makes me feel better, knowing that somebody actually cares for u~ and u are surrounded by warmth in the air~ And then....wishes by wishes came in 1 by 1....which makes my day^.^ THANKS A LOT GUYS~ super appreciate that~ though I might missed u guys birthday, coz I even have to tag my own birthday on my hp to remind me~ so....forgive me, please~~

What did I do for the whole day?
erm~ treat myself by not using much of my brain analyzing capacity^.^ Its quite something...after all that mess going in my brain for the past half a year.

My birthday wish (asked by a fren of mine):
1. a new hand phone - with 3G and wifi
2. a bf ?? (as suggested, but not desperate bout that :p)
3. get a masters in some place I wanted to go
4. get a temporary job while waiting to get a masters
5. a good result~
6. More time...so that I can do something I love
7. Be with my family, blowing candles on top of the cake
8 Good health
9. just enough money for me to spend :p
Finally~ world peace :p
p/s: see...I am not so materialistic after all....^.^

Empire

I have this feeling of my "empire" in KL is building up, and if I go back to Penang, its kind of~ i will become lonely and feel empty. Maybe~ its just becoz now, I have frens all over me, and the number of relatives in KL suddenly grow~

Of coz, I still love Penang~ its my home and my super cute family is there, but then, if I am now in Penang, I really can't think of things that I will be doing~ I will be lying around, lepak"ing" and do all nuisance.
Well, I know~ I've changed a lot~ last time, not to be in Penang is super uncomfortable, and I will miss my bed at home from time to time~ Maybe, I am so used to life here that I can't imagine how, and where to go in Penang.

Don be mad at me~
coz, its something good that I am not independent and I can live on my own instead of hanging on my parent's neck.

Well.....we'll see how things go along~
I suddenly things and feels, being alone, going anywhere I want, meeting frens and family some where, some time~ this is more free...
We'll just have to see how time change me again^.^

To compare

Read my previous blog posted minutes ago? nvm~ I just edited it~ I shouldn't use that example. Donno wat I am talking about, just ignore everything u see in this paragraph :p

Ok~ we love to compare things around us~ me and u, u and them, this and that~ everything exist are compared, and if one compares, there will be better and not as good. Y don't we just stop comparing and appreciate the beauty of the uniqueness of creation of god? Even fingers have different length~ so wat do u expect? to cut every fingers and live only the middle fingers on both hands?

The thing here is~ everyone, everything is incomparable. Its just one knows or sees the unique and the essence of that particular thing~ if u just can't see that, can't appreciate that, fine, just say in ur opinion, and in ur point of view, its just not ur thingy, and not to "kill"/ end the road of that particular thingy and say, its not good.

Things are just incomparable~ so~ stop comparing and start living with love and heart of appreciation for beauty around us^.^

Thoughts, work done, plus a SURPRISE^.^

Today is The Day^.^

Have 3 huge, books read in 4 hours, but ended up getting only one A4 paper of info =.=’’’

And then, my dad gave me a surprise, by calling me suddenly and ask me to meet him in KL sentral b4 he depart back to Penang~ he then show up with 2 cute little cake for my birthday in advance^.^ so nice~ my dad seldom remembers birthdays or any dates~ he don want to tell me if its mom that reminded him, or its he himself remember that~ but since he don want to answer, and according to interpretation of the expression on his face, he remember my birthday himself and that’s how we show we care in our family^,^ Thanks Pipi^.^

Ok~ the thought part~ I told my dad, that even I have loads of work to be done, and my time is very packed and limited, if any1 calls me and say if we can just meet somewhere to catch up with each other, I will surely say I am good with that. My dad says that its ok if I just say no, and continue with my work, but then, in my thoughts, it’s just an kind of showing of appreciation of ppl around u, frens or family to appreciate ur existence, and it just…..donno how to phrase that~ the thing is~ after all, its quite hard for 2 ppl to meet up and to chit-chat a bit, catching up with each others after all we went through~ its not like in primary or in secondary, that the circle of frens will meet like 2 thousand times per year~ its kind of hard to get together~ I would say~ so~ its just a small sacrifices of a bit of my not so precious time, and appreciate existence of family and frens around me^.^

a scene~
There is this car stopping beside the road, with the driver on the driver’s seat~ AND~ the interesting part is, the driver is happily sitting on his seat, relaxing, with both his feet sticking out of the window, to the side mirror~ ^,^ *lame* :p

Feels like I have done a lot for a day, but~ it seems, I did nothing for the whole day at all~ WHY!! why does time flies??

Members day

Feeling that u are left out, and u are nobody on earth? Thinking bout u, having no position on earth? Feel that u have nothing to contribute to the society, and that u are not any member of any society or so?
Not anymore ^.^

We are members everywhere we go~ For example, my bro is kind of active, he's now part of the Toastmasters and my dad is member, chairman and watever I don't want to know :p
And for me??
hehe......Jusco, Tesco, Sushi King, Mobil, BHP, Redbox, McD, Body Glove, and still counting....BLEK!!

So lame~ just think that this is kind of funny ^.^

Anxiety attack

Anxiety attacked me in the middle of the night~and after studying and knowing a lot bout brain function, CNS and neurotransmitters, I decided to just get up from bed and make good use of the "sleepless hours" rather than making myself feel even more tired in the morning.

Maybe I am too excited bout the sequencing I've sent out yesterday afternoon~ the image of the process of sequencing/purification procedures are all over me....the scene is like~ have to spin this 13,000rpm, 1 min; then the scene jumps into~ omg, i cut the gel too thick a piece, cannot get all buffer into the tubes, how, wat to do; then the scene jumps to~ please, let me have bands, if not I will have to do it again~ etc....etc....and the scenes keep on replay.

Went movie last night, title: WANTED~
Remember there's this scene in the movie, where the main character googled his name, and the result is "no match found". Hehe....then I googled mine minutes ago, my name apeared....as sis of my big bro:D happy happy.....though my name only appeared in one of the pages, in future, my name will be on publications, on journals, papers, and whole web...Hahahaha~~ *dreaming*
The movie was great! it makes ppl ask themselves questions and kind of sit back and think of who they are, where they stand, fate, god.....

Well....that's me analyzing movies~ coz my dad trained my brain since I was a kid...i think maybe I was still in kindy that time, to think and analyse, see a bigger picture, coz he always ask: "wat is the moral of the story" after a drama or a movie. ^.^

Ok~ enough with crap~ continue with my work^.^

My one kind

Today, one of my best fren told me that another fren of mine said something bout me to him. He was told that I am that kind that won’t share anything or give u any info, or its without any hope to get any information from me.

Well, true~ I am that kind that I don’t say things straight forward. If u can get the message sent, then, fine, if u cannot get the message, u won’t lose a piece of ur flesh also. Its all based upon ur imagination, ur interpretations and how u put an effort on the things/info u want to get from me.

If u know me for quite some time, after u get to know me well enough, u will know my style and way of telling things, or sending message across. If the info u want to get is not very important, and I start to go zig-zag along the way, u can ignore me, or just “shoo” me or “cheh” me, I am fine with it. If the info u want to get is something that benefits u, I won’t let u get it hand to hand, u will have to work a bit on ur own, put some effort and energy to get the full picture. If the piece of info is something I doesn’t bothers if the whole world knows about it, I am super grateful to tell u the whole story from beginning to the end.

Its kind of how I love breaking message into pieces, and let others guess the meaning or the message~ Its just….well, nobody actually gets hurt thru the process. By the way, there is no one answer to every questions to the world, unless ur question is like: “wat is ur name”. Even there is once, that one of my super best fren was joking with me, saying if she can make me belanja her on the movie we just watched~ U know wat my answer was?? Hehe~~ my answer to her was: I don really cares~ coz everything happens in this world have a reason behind them
Erm~ wat is the connection? There is ^.^

Well, u just have to bear with me~ I am that “anything” or “whatever” kind of person that is ok with almost everything. One of the most important thing I cannot tahan for “tut” sake is: don’t ever smile to me, and then cucuk me on my back!! If u r saying something that is so true, I am ok with it. If u r telling some1 that u already know that msg will be sent to me in a matter of time, I am also ok with it~ as long as, u don pretend and be a nuisance for “tut” sake.

Growing up

Everyday, we grew up a little physically, doesn't bother u want it or not, it happens~ but talking about growing up mentally, there is no where that it suppose to stop, that one day, u don't have to learn any new things in life, and that u can living just by hugging ur past, and the tradition, or routine~ well, I mean~ some can really live life with those thoughts, but then, that's really not to live life.

We, in the age that those old ppl say "young", or "just a kid", part of our responsibility is to learn, and to grow up mentally. However, those "old ppl", our parents, or grandparents, they too have to grow up, and keep up with time. Because, one just can't live life by always say: "u know~ last time ar~ I use to......" watever, it's the past already, I know one can learn and gain experience from the past, but, life is just more than those things u gain, or the things or memories u most proud of in the past~ they are just a part of ur memory.

The 1st thing for parents and grandparents or even close relatives to "grow up" in is, to let go of those responsibilities u held in the past, or even in present~ erm...i don't mean immediately, but to release bit by bit. For example, for "kids" like us, those beginning of 20+, we are suppose to learn how to be responsible of ourselves already. Its like~ we know that u guys are freaking worried bout us, ur children, but pure worries do no help~ Statistics and analysis, plus thinking without emotions interfering, is more important in getting solutions, or let things go.

For example, I told my cousin that suppose to come to KL to study starting next week~ so, it's like, I am some1 that she suppose to rely on in KL, coz she've nv been away from home~ so~ I was thinking that I might give her some moral support, and calm her feelings a bit by making an effort to go see her next week~ but her mom was like:"ask her not to go see u la~if not, if anything happens to her, who will be responsible?" Well~ auntie, if I think that I can go, means I analysed every situation d, and of coz, I will be careful and take good care of myself~ I will be the one responsible to myself~ if not, after so long staying alone and doing all those things in KL, u think some1 is suppose to track me down and put pause button on me? NO WAY~I will always find solution for any problem that come into place.
Like I told my cousin sis, our parents are not young already, they are like 50+ or even 60+ d~ so, from the numbers, they are suppose to start enjoying their life d. Its our time to be concerned bout them, not the other way round.

Another thing, like I said in my previous blog, every1 is growing up. Even my parents are growing up together with me and my bro. I teach my mom how to use MSN, and now, she's like can't live without MSN working :p And my dad, he's picking up modern thinking quite fast, like to save the environment, not to buy newpapers, and to read them online~well~ he's still "1900" in some sense, but~it have its advantage in having some traditional ppl around, just to pull the hand break in between, just in case we go overboard~

Life's like that~ if u doesn't want to learn from the start and all the way thru the end of ur life, and think that u are "know everything" person, u will just be always living in the past for the rest of ur life~ and make other ppl's life suffer, I mean~ ur kids~

p/s: do u ever really get to know how ur kids feel bout wat ur opinions are? or do u ever concerned bout how ur parents feel bout ur opinion? do u ever make 2 way communication, find the real problem and find the solution to them?

I feel very lucky that I am born in a family with parents that have an open mind^.^

women vs. clothes

Women or I should say~ females, are super conflict by herself. When shopping, she will be looking around, picking clothes~ when a clothes struck her eyes, she try it on, and then consider, then walk off by thinking that the clothes will still be in the shop~ However, when seeing others wearing the same clothes on the street, and she looks gorgeous in it, she feels slapping her face and broke down screaming: why~~why~~why I didn't buy that clothes that day!!!

Well, a bit exaggerate, but that's the feeling females have~ Its just the degree to which u can keep it undetected in ur heart, or u scream it out and release urself from the emo thingy.

Ok, I am now in the situation of window shopping and walking on the road, then scream in my heart for not buying that clothes....after that, I will be finding all excuses for myself, like~that clothes might not fit me, or its too expensive, or I just don't need it at all~

Watever, females~ creating emo for herself, having drama of her own, conflict within herself. Such an idiotic thing to do~ wat to do?? we'll just have to wait and see =.='''

缘分

该来的还是会来~该是你的跑不掉~缘分这东西真是太太太太太太。。。。太惊人了！！！

两个完全不同世界的人，兜了个大圈，错过了彼此的存在，到后来，当缘分到了，竟然会看上对方~~两只老虎真奇怪，两只恋人真奇怪~~

对啦~羡慕你们啦~ 对啦，对啦，你啦~ 就是你们啦~~

缘分啊~快点绛临在我身上吧~~

还是祝福你们~你们那些幸福到不行，甜蜜到惹蚂蚁的你们~ 加油! 希望你们会白头到老^.^